I can tell you the exact moment in my day when my blood pressure goes through the roof. It occurs precisely at 1:25pm each weekday. For it is at this time that I realize I am late picking up my son up from preschool.
Ian gets released at 1:30pm, Monday thru Friday. Before having Samantha, I had a stellar record of always being on time to retrieve him and in most cases, was a few minutes early and could spy on him, without him knowing. For some reason the addition of Sam in our lives has made me perpetually holding my breath, hoping that we make only green lights and there are no slow pokes in front of me. It is a race to the finish line to park the car at the closest spot possible, grab Sam from her car seat and race walk up to the front door. I scurry inside and hope that we aren't the last to claim our own. Sam's body is usually bouncing up and down and she is holding on for dear life, as we make our way through the lobby and to Ian's classroom. 80% of the time, the moms are still lined up waiting for the classroom door to open. A big sigh of relief comes that I've made it. It's the other 20% of the time that I have to hope Ian has at least one buddy left to hang out with waiting for their mommy to come too.
Sometimes I am welcomed with the following;
Ian: "Mommy, why were you the last one to come?" Is there anything more sad to hear?
Or, "Mommy, why are you so late?" Oy! Again, it makes my heart melt.
It's then that the mommy guilt fully sets in and I quickly offer the chance to get a cookie from the Synagogue's kitchen on the way out.
To my defense, I have to point the finger towards to Samantha who takes a nap from 11:00am to 1:00pm. Sometimes she doesn't wake up right at 1:00pm. I try so hard to not to have to wake her and see if waiting another 5 or 10 minutes will have her waking up on her own. Or, if she does wake-up by 1:00pm, I try to feed her a quick lunch before having to get in the car to go get Ian. And, about half the time, Sam will wake up with a dirty diaper and I have to change it. There goes a good five minutes taking care of that mess.
Each new day is a new opportunity for me to try to get it right. I say to myself, this will be the day we are in the car, strapped in ready to go by 1:15pm. If only this could happen on a regular basis. Usually, on a good day, we are pulling out of our driveway by 1:19pm. My heart really starts beating fast when I put the car in reverse to back-up and the clock is flashing 1:21pm. It is a 6 minute drive (if all the lights are green). I've been known to seize up the traffic lights at Old Keene Mill Rd and Lee Chapel and go straight instead of turning left. I can shave 2 minutes by making a LEGAL u-turn and not waiting for the lights to turn in my favor. And, on the days we are really pushing it, I'll park in front of the dumpster because that is the closest spot without blocking any other cars. Ian has long stopped asking me why the car is parked there.
It's crazy that I do this to myself and I don't see it changing any time soon; at least not this school year. When anyone asks if I am ready for number 3, I'll have to direct them to this post. I just don't think my blood pressure can take it having to juggle a third child into this.
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