Ready to start over

The first thing out of everyone's mouth when they walk in our house is, "Wow, it's quiet." Yes, I know. That's because there is a huge void inside these four walls, left by a pretty big German Shepherd, Bailey. Oh, how I still miss him. It's really bad and I am not sure where I am in the grieving process, but I still expect Bailey to trail behind me from room to room or be there when I open the front door.

For the first time in 5 years, I've got Ian and Samantha in a program (camp) on two days of the week, for the same 4 hours. This is 4 hours when I could be in the house and be the only one here. 4 hours of no barking, no tail wagging, and complete silence. It is really hard for me during this time and I'll do whatever I can to run errands, go to the gym or meet friends for lunch. Anything that keeps me away from the house when I would be the only one inside.

I want another dog very badly. I want a puppy to put my time and energy into. I want this new little creature to take up a lot of space with his bowls, toys, bed, and body and help me forget what used to be there. But I don't think that is fair to the new dog. Like long-term relationships, I think if we get this next dog too soon, it would be the "rebound" dog. It's shoes would be too big to full and this new little puppy couldn't stand a chance. I do believe its in our best interest to wait at least a year before diving in again. Wait until the time is right and the family has had a chance to heal. Although, at this point, I think it is just Sam and me that still miss Bailey terribly.

Every now and then we'll be driving in the car and the conversation will turn "what to name the new dog we get". I have one stipulation; that we chose a name that starts with the letter "B". I'd like this new little guy to be named after Bailey. In the Jewish culture, it is an honor to take the first initial of a deceased relative and name the newborn with a name that starts with that initial. Bailey was named after my childhood dog, Brandon.

Some names that have been tossed around are: Bone, Ball (both submitted by Ian). Barney, Bob (Jeff's contributions). Ian did add "Bill" into the mix, but Jeff nixed that idea, saying we already have enough bills. :)