Biting my tongue

I find parenting to be a tough balance of wanting to do the right thing; making the most healthy, safest, and independence building choices for your children and then on the other the hand, taking the easy way out and giving in to avoid the same "discussion" over and over again.

Ian has a running list of everything his friends can do that he is not allowed to yet.  For example, Greg has the rated "T" ("T" for teens) Star Wars Wii game and we will only allow Ian to play the rated "E" version ("E" for everyone).  His friend Jonathan has been in a backless booster seat since he was four.  Jeff and I, on the other hand had kept Ian in a 5 point harness-type car seat until 2 weeks ago.  Every time we got in the car, Ian would give me a rundown of all the kids who were allowed to sit in a booster seat and exactly what the date was that they made the switch.  And each time, I'd counter with, "But Ian, I want you to be the safest possible and the car seat you are in will be perfect for you for the next 3 or 4 years."  I even joked that Ian would be using this monster of a car seat when it was time to learn to drive.  And maybe even throw in wearing a helmet for good measure.  :)

Every time Ian and I have these discussions about what we feel is in his best interest, I come so close to saying to Ian, "We must love you more than so & so's parents."  Of course, I am kidding about this and  I know it is a mean thing to say, so I bite my tongue and make sure I stay silent.  I know Ian wouldn't see my subtle dark humor in this statement or pick-up on the sarcasm with which I say it.  But it kills me that this 5 year old boy is playing a video game meant for teenagers.  I am sure there are plenty of other parents questioning the amount of time Ian is allowed to play wii, watch tv or play gaming websites on the computer. I guess I do a pretty good job of justifying this to myself that it becomes ok.  I can fully see the irony in this pot calling the kettle black.

Eventually Ian is going to be old enough to play all versions of Wii games, and eventually he'll outgrow his booster seat completely and not need anything but a seat belt.  But until then I wished we lived in a world where everyone had the same values as me.  It would make everything so much easier.  And it would be wonderful to live in a world where I could say to Ian, "I guess we just love you more" without fear of Ian going back to his friend and making him feel bad by repeating what I said.