Frightening

It's been awhile since Sam has gotten nose bleeds.  She had been getting them pretty frequently and I felt fortunate I was always around to help her and get the blood to stop flowing as best as I could.  The worst it had ever gotten was a time when it happened in the middle of the night and it seemed like it wouldn't stop.  I rushed Sam, who was about 2 years old at the time to the ER, with the blood literally pouring out of her nose.  You can imagine how fast I was driving to get there. Nor did I care about finding a parking spot.  Fair Oaks Hospital should be lucky I didn't make their doors drive-in style.  Everything turned out fine and the staff needed to calm me down more than Sam.

About 18 months ago, we had gone to see a specialist to make sure it wasn't a sign of something more serious and to see what our options were to end them.   Since as of that point, the nose bleeds weren't frequent enough to interfere with her life, we chose to not do an invasive treatment to cauterize the source inside her nose. 

Over the past year, the nose bleeds were getting far and few between.  It had been at least 4 months, if not longer since Sam's last one.  I was actually at a point where I was no longer documenting when it occurred, which nostril the blood was coming from and how long it lasted. 

The other morning I had to go in Sam's room and wake her up to get ready for school.  I can count on one hand how often Sam has needed to be woken up because she was sleeping past her normal rise with roosters internal clock she has in her. The first thing I saw was blood all over the sheet.  It really freaked me out.   Fortunately, as I put her light on in her room, she raised her head to bury it under her covers and I knew Sam was still breathing and mobile.  Deep down I knew it was from a nose bleed, but I will never get over the site of seeing my daughter's blood out of her body.  And the blood must've really been flowing too because it not only went through the sheet, but also completely through the mattress pad underneath it. 

All I could think of was, thank G-d the blood stopped flowing on its own.  What if it hadn't?  I had stopped checking on her in the middle of the night many years ago, but what if I should start again?  And how often?  Once every hour?  Every 2 hours?  That's not a very practical way to live. 

I guess Sam is used to this by now, because when she looked down at the sheet and saw all the blood, she instantly put her thumb and finger to the base of her nose and hold it like the dr showed us.  I told her it was ok, the nose bleed had already stopped.  And then I pulled her into a very big and long hug.

I couldn't stop thinking about it all day.  Seeing all that blood is a sight I will never get used to.