On his terms

Not quite yet old enough to grow facial hair,
but he's getting there. 

My 7 1/2 year old son is growing up.  He is finding his voice and letting me know how its going to go down.  I am still getting used to this "new" Ian. 

I love to take pictures.  Lots and lots of pictures.  I always have a camera available and I am not afraid to use it.  I thought the kids had gotten used to this by now, but I guess not.  When we were walking in to Cox Farms on Saturday, I 'warned' Ian I'd be taking pictures and he better cooperate.  He instantly came back with, "You can take 10."  I loved that!  He told me the limit he'd be comfortable with and I knew I'd get 10 chances to take a picture with him smiling and being happy I had my camera out.  It was a win-win for both of us.  What a smart cookie he was to come up with this idea and compromise.  And we had fun keeping count of the pictures I had taken and how many I had left to go.

At the beginning of the school year, I put a note in Ian's lunchbox.  It was the kind of note that had a tiny little envelope to go with it.   When Ian came back home at the end of day, I cleared out his lunchbox and found the note, still in the envelope, completely in tact.   I said, "Ian, How come you didn't open the note I left you?"  Ian, replied back with an exasperated voice telling me he didn't want the note and to not do this kind of thing any more. 

I think I made it a whole two months before I attempted something similar again.  On whim, as I was packing his lunch, I took a post-it note and wrote something quick like, "I hope your having a great day.  I love you." and put it in his lunch.  Ian got in the car at the end of day and quickly said with excitement, "I got your note at lunch.  You can do that again.  Not like all the time, but every now and then a note would be nice."

Also at the beginning of this school year, I made the off-handed comment that I couldn't wait to surprise Ian at school for lunch.  Last year, when he was in first grade, I showed up, on average, about once a month and ate lunch with him and his friends.  I loved it and so did he!  It was always a surprise, more because I never knew if my schedule was going to be free during his lunch time and I didn't want to disappoint Ian if at the last minute, I couldn't make it.

Very quickly Ian made it a point to tell me, that in no uncertain terms was I to come to his school for lunch this year.  He didn't want surprises and he didn't want me around during lunch time. I was only 'allowed' to come and eat with him and his friends, on his birthday (not until the end of May!!!!!!!!!!) and when he is made Star of the Week, because Thursdays are designated to eat lunch with your child when they are made Star of the Week.

Really?  Really?  Ian is only in 2nd grade and I am already embarrassing him?  I knew this was going to come at some point, I just didn't think it would start this early. 

The other day Ian gets in the car and says, completely out of the blue, "You can come to my school and have lunch with me sometimes.  Just not all the time."  Ian then sets the ground rules and says I can come once every other week.  Wow!  I feel like I've just been given keys to the city.  I'm not going to come nearly as much as Ian says its okay to come, but once a month would be nice (and ok by Ian's rules).  Woo-hoo!!

So, to whatever mother out there that has been sending notes in their kids' lunch box and showing up to eat with their child, THANK YOU!  Your making it cool for me to do this too, at least for this year. 

Ian is growing up.  I need to grow up too and let him.