Ian's school holds a Thanksgiving day lunch. Parents, grandparents, siblings are encouraged to join their student for lunch and give thanks for all we have. It is even more poignant when the school picks Veteran's day to hold the Thanksgiving day lunch and really gives the working parents a fighting chance on making it during the day. Standard Thanksgiving day food is served (Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, etc). Ian got a nice surprise on Monday when not one, but both of his parents were able to show up and have lunch with him. This was actually the first time that Jeff has done lunch with Ian at school.
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| My two most favorite boys in the whole wide world. |
During the 40 minutes I was there, it seemed to me that most every student had a parent or someone with them. However, at Ian's table, I noticed the boy directly across from me (let's call him "Steve") was by himself. I started a conversation with him and asked him about his weekend. While chatting, I noticed that he was all done eating his lunch. Steve had brought his lunch from home. Given that it took him less time to eat it than the amount of time it took me to go through the lunch line to get my fruit salad and yogurt, I had to ask him what he had to eat. Steve answered Pringles (one of those individual servings container) and a baggie with a baby pickles. That's it. No sandwich, no fruit, no drink. Nothing else.
Instantly, my mind starts racing with a ton of questions -- "Did you pack your own lunch?" Yes, with a smile on his face is Steve's answer. "Does your mom know what you packed?" No is his reply. "Do you think your mom would be happy if she knew?" A shrug of the shoulders was his answer.
Ugh! I am not sure which is worse -- that Steve was allowed to pack his own lunch and his mom didn't take the time to double check what he packed, or that Steve doesn't know enough that Pringles and pickles does not make a suitable lunch. Even IF (and this is a big IF because it won't be happening any time soon!) Ian were to pack his own lunch, he knows what constitutes a healthy, appropriate lunch.
My heart was breaking for this kid as I looked down and saw all the food I had in front of me to eat -- not to mention I was headed home afterwards and could always get something else if I was still hungry. I quickly offered Steve some of my fruit and started a pile of apple slices for him. He said, "No, I'm fine." I then offered him my unopened yogurt with a clean spoon and again, he said, "No, I'm fine." Then I pushed my unopened chocolate milk his way and said, "Surely, you must be thirsty." And that got returned as well.
At this point the woman sitting next to him, who was there for her daughter sitting on the other side of her, noticed what was going on. She couldn't believe either what Steve had for lunch and started offering food from her tray. Each time Steve said, "No, I'm fine." the other mom and I looked at each other. I told her 'the Mom in me' is having a very tough time letting this go. She nodded her head in agreement.
So badly I wanted to send Steve's mom an email and tell her to get a clue and help her son pack his lunch. But I restrained myself and waited until my bookclub meeting later that day to find out the best way to handle this. All the women unanimously agreed that it was best to let this go. Oh yeah, this is what Jeff initially said too, but he's a guy, not a mom. :) They felt that this kid packed his own lunch and he should suffer the consequences of being hungry. They further explained that the mom could very well know what was going on and was letting Steve be held accountable. Hmmmm. Ok, so maybe I need to attack this from another direction.
At dinner the next night, I made it clear to Ian that if he ever sees a friend or a classmate hungry, he has my permission to offer them some of his lunch (barring any allergies the kid may have). I always pack more than enough food for Ian to share. And I asked Ian what Steve had for lunch that day. Ian said he bought his lunch. Whew! The next day and the day after I asked what Steve had for lunch, and Ian described the lunch he brought from home containing a sandwich and a yogurt, plus of course, the Pringles and pickles. Still no drink, but its a start.
I think I will let this go. But it still doesn't sit right with me what this kid was allowed to leave the house with so little in his lunch bag, let alone having all his food void of nutritional value. You know me, I'll be keeping an eye on him, even if its just a daily report from Ian on what he had to eat that day.
UPDATE:
Ian went to a birthday party over the weekend, and Steve and his mother were also there. Upon meeting the mom, Jeff and Ian chatted with her. The first thing out of Ian's mouth? "My mom asks what Steve has for lunch every day." OMG! I am mortified. Maybe the mom thought she heard wrong, because she didn't say anything to this statement.
I am officially done now worrying about Steve's lunch. I am going to crawl under a rock and hide now.
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