Little Miss Attitude!

Sam is 5 going on 17.  She is full of attitude from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet.  It is obnoxious and beyond insulting how she talks to us. 

Sam has this self-entitlement mentality that has you questioning just how she is making it to live to see another day.  She is bossy, sassy, and full of demands.  I do everything I can to not slap her silly.  I very calmly tell her, "I will not be talked to like that.  I deserve more respect."  If we are at home, I add, "Go to your room until you can be nicer."  If we are in public, I do my best to ignore her until she realizes she won't get any attention from me with that despicable behavior. 

Here's an example of Sam at her "finest":

Scene:  We are at Epcot with my mom and Jim.  We've been there for about 30 minutes and did the Nemo ride.  We are now headed to The Land and come across the film about the environment.  We ask when the next showing is.  It is playing again in 9 minutes, and the movie is 20 minutes long.  We decide to go in and sit in the waiting area until they open the doors of the theatre.

SAM (obviously not happy):  I AM NOT STAYING HERE!  I AM LEAVING RIGHT NOW. AND MOMMY, YOU ARE COMING WITH ME.  I DON'T WANT TO WAIT FOR THIS.  I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE MOVIE.  I DON'T LIKE MOVIES!!  I HATE WAITING.  I AM LEAVING RIGHT NOW.  BYE!  MOM, COME WITH ME NOW!!!

Sam realizes this is not working, and tries a different angle, still screaming.

ALL YOU DO IS ASK IAN, "WHAT DOES IAN WANT TO DO?"  YOU SAY, "IAN, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?"  YOU NEVER ASK SAMANTHA, "SAMANTHA - WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?  DO YOU WANT TO WAIT FOR THIS?"

I AM NOT WAITING ANYMORE.  I AM LEAVING NOW! 

Because I refuse to go with her, Sam does not actually leave.  Fortunately she is not one to walk off by herself.  Whew!  Good thing she hasn't found out that I would have to go chase after her.

Everyone around us now is laughing at Sam's tantrum. She continues on like this for the next 8 minutes until it is time to open the doors. 

Scene:  Doors to the theatre open.  Everyone starts walking in. The crowd waiting to sit is very light.  It's easy for us to have our own row and not worry about scooting down to make room for others.  Mom, Jim, Ian and I all take a seat.  Sam refuses to come down our row to sit.  She has her arms crossed and she is very angry. 

Sam refusing to sit with us.

Finally, the lights go down and the film starts.  Sam runs to her chair and begins yelling about how she doesn't want to be there.  She says the music is too loud.  She is not comfortable in her seat.  She is making quite the ruckus.  My mom gives her a Swedish fish to get her to be quiet.  It works and we make it through the 20 minute film.  Then its time to go to the next thing.  And her attitude about  where we are going starts all over again.  It's enough to drive a person bat-sh*t crazy.  You go through your day just waiting for her mini explosions on what she doesn't like and how everything is unfair to her. 

I met with a psychic during my girl's weekend with my friends.  I asked her for advice regarding Sam.  She said she will be growing out of most of her troubling behavior around age 7.  I can last another 2 years, right?