When all is said and done, we are a good team. Scratch that, we are an AMAZING team. I love how much fun we have together, how we can still find things to talk about other than the kids, how we can daydream on what we would do if we won the lottery (actually playing it might be a good first step!), how sometimes its us against the kids, how he can look at me and instantly tell what kind of day I'm having. And most of all, how he makes me laugh. Boy, does Jeff make me laugh. There is a wonderful tender side that most people don't see. There is a playful side that most people don't see. There is an incredibly generous, charitable side that most people don't see. And there is a sappy, love-sick side that most people don't see. But I see it. Jeff is truly a remarkable guy.
And now, let me have a bit of fun with the Top 10 Things I Had To Get Used To When Marrying Jeff:
10. Sometimes I will find the burned out bulbs back in the light bulb package when I go to get a new bulb. Most of the time I get tricked thinking I took out a good light bulb to use.
9: I usually have to double check the trash can that is on the curb and make sure it is the one that actually has trash in it.
8. Expiration dates on milk, yogurt, meat, and cheese don't mean a whole lot when grocery shopping.
7. Being ready to go on time means having to be ready 10 minutes early or else you will get told "Let's go already!!! We are going to be late!! You do this every time!!"
6. Walking into a room after Jeff has been in it might be best with a gas mask or a can of fabreeze. I swear he didn't fart when we were dating.
5. Watching a television show is near impossible as Jeff will flip through all the channels constantly and not settle on one. Ever. Watching a movie with Jeff is great until he figures out the ending (even those sappy romantic movies I drag him too) and makes sure to fill me in too how he thinks it will go.
4. The ability to never see anything right in front of his face. There is an absolutely wonderful cartoon that depicts this beautifully. This could easily be Jeff.
3. Jeff will always check out restaurant's menu online before we go. He will figure out what he wants to order and comment how he can't wait to eat this. Then we get to the restaurant, the waitress comes over and he says, "uh...uh....uh...." and then randomly picks something very quickly.
2. The best way to get Jeff to agree to something radically out of his comfort zone is to subtly bring it up in conversation a few dozen times. Eventually he gets used to the idea and is game.
And the number 1 thing I had to get used to when marrying Jeff:
1. How much I love him, like he is the air necessary for me to breathe, the last person I want to see before I go to sleep and the first one I want to see when I wake up, the person I want to grow old with and face all the best life has to offer.
Happy 10 year anniversary Jeff! There is no one I'd rather go through this crazy ride with than you.
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And now Jeff wants a chance to have a say. This is HUGE as I am not usually even allowed to mention him. Now he wants to be a guest writer. Wow.
Top Ten Things I Needed To Get Used To Being Married to Robyn
10) Her cold feet. They weren't cold before we got married. But now penguins visit our house to snuggle with Robyn's feet when they are feeling homesick.
9) Robyn's habit of laughing at my wounds. Physical injuries such as stubbing my toe or banging my knee are typically met with boisterous laughter. Emotional wounds are treated with the verbal equivilant of mixing lemon juice, salt, hot sauce, and bleach. She kids because she loves.
8) Robyn's views on money. For example, spending $100 you haven't earned on items you don't need but using a 25% off coupon means you've saved $25, not spent $75. I'm praying this never makes sense to me.
7) Robyn's insistence on packing 30 minutes of activity into the 15 minutes before we are going to leave somewhere, then complaining about feeling rushed. No, this isn't meant to be funny.
6) Robyn's perverse joy in not listening to me. For example, when I say "You are driving me to the brink of total insanity and risking bankruptcy" she translates that into "So, you want a dog?".
5) Robyn's tendency to choose entertainment options that make her miserable. Her favorite books and movies make her cry uncontrollably and she loves TV shows that induce the obsessive need to binge watch (Breaking Bad, House of Cards) or cause heart attacks with each episode (Prison Break).
4) The extreme nature of Robyn's parking snob behavior (This is actually a Mazer family trait). We can spend ten minutes finding a prime parking space for a three minute shoppping trip.
3) Being asked an endless series of pointless questions such as "Are you asleep?", "Can I put my feet on you to warm them up?" and "Can my mother come for a visit?"
2) The degree of totally unjustified criticism I get to take. For example, Robyn either reads before going to bed or is asleep in five minutes. Her attention span isn't long enough to care about my channel flipping.
And the number one thing I had to get used to being married to Robyn....How much more I love her every day of my life. I wouldn't put up with all this crap for anyone but her. Before we met I couldn't envision a world with her. Now I can't envision a world without her. Before we met I had no idea what I was truly meant to do with my life. From the moment I told her I loved her, I knew my purpose was to build a happy and prosperous life for her and our children.
Robyn.. I love you more than my own life and words cannot describe how much I'm looking forward the rest of our journey together.
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