I am doing my best to keep it together and not jump on a plane to go to the camp and see how she is doing. I've got my spies and they've done an excellent job reporting back how it is going, but there is nothing like seeing firsthand what's up.
Oh, what I'd give to put on my cape to make myself invisible and really get close to her. Make sure she isn't too homesick. Make sure she is being friendly to the other girls in her bunk. Make sure she having fun and enjoying all this camp has to offer. And make sure she isn't swimming too deep at the lake. Is she brushing her teeth every day? Is she using enough shampoo and soap in the shower? Is she realizing she will need to wear each pair of her pajamas her few times before they will get washed? Oh my! I know her. Sam will not be happy if she puts her pajamas in her laundry bag and then realizes in 4 days that she needs to fish them all out to wear again. This will not go over well.
Sam is only 8 years old. I am still in awe that this was her idea to want to go. She was so excited and had the biggest smile on her face as we left for the airport at 5:45am to catch our flight. I am not ready for her to want this much independence. I know this is a good thing. I know this is all part of growing up. I know Jeff and I are giving her a fantastic opportunity that a lot of kids (especially ones that are only 8!) don't get a chance to do. It's all well and good to remind myself of this --sometimes hourly -- but it doesn't fill the void of how much I miss her. How much I want to speak with her and hear her voice.
I've been obsessing checking the camp website each night for pictures of her. It's not enough for me to find a photo and see her looking clean, well-fed, doing a fun activity, smiling with a new friend or two. Nooooo, I have to literally pick apart every single thing in the picture -- what is she wearing? Is this the same outfit in each photo posted of her that day or has she changed once, twice or three times? Is she going to run out of clean clothes before they do their wash? Can I gaze into her eyes and really figure out what she is thinking at that moment? Is she truly as happy as she appears or is it is a fake smile for the sake of the camera? What's going on with her hair? Is this a ponytail she did herself or is the counselor helping her put her hair up? Is she too hot? Too cold? Too wet from rain?
Since I left her on Tuesday, I've sent her a pair of rain boots, a new hair brush (one of my spies told me hers broke), 2 pairs of shorts, 2 t-shirts, (again, a fear of her running out of clean clothes) and a deck of Uno playing cards. Thank G-d for Amazon prime. I've also sent her an email each night, put 3 real cards in the mail to her, and had Ian send her a card.
No, I don't think I have a problem. :) Nothing that can't be solved around 10:00pm on Sunday, August 21st when Sam returns home.
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