Sitting across from us was a dad, mom and three young kids. I'd say the ages of the kids ranged from 4 or 5 years old, 3 years old and 18 mos to 2 years old. I could be way off on the ages, but I know for sure there were 3 kids and they were all young.
While we were there, the ENTIRE time the dad at this table was on his cell phone. He didn't put it down for even one minute. He ate and surfed on his phone without stopping. Non-stop. I had a clear view of what he was doing and all of it was stupid stuff like football scores, Facebook, news. I'm just saying none of it was life and death type searches.
Before I continue on my soapbox about my feelings on this, I want to say the following: I have absolutely no idea what this guy is going through. For all I know, he was with his kids for the past 12 hours and gave them his undivided attention while his wife was out having fun. For all I know, he had a seriously bad day and this was his only way to decompress. Who knows why he was motivated to be on his phone the entire time they were eating dinner?
However, I can't help but take the situation at face value and judge based on appearances alone. Here's what I couldn't stop thinking about watching this family for over 40 minutes.
When did this kind of behavior become acceptable? What is wrong with our society that you can be sitting at a table with other human beings and completely ignore them? And the thing that really makes my blood boil -- what kind of message does this send to his kids? Kids watch our every move and this is really the behavior you want them to emulate? Really??? His wife and kids literally did not engage with him in conversation at all. Ugh.
Jeff and I are far from perfect as parents, but there are a few things we try hard to do that makes us feel good about the job we are doing. 99.5% of the time we eat dinner as a family every night. And during that time we talk with each other. We find out how our day was; the good, the bad, the ugly. We chat about upcoming events and what will be happening the next day. We have a family box of questions we use to get other kinds of conversations started. It's our time to unplug from electronics and really communicate. I should mention, this is the ONLY time we unplug from electronics in our day, so its a pretty big deal that we do not allow cell phones, iPads or even the tv on while we eat dinner.
I find it very sad when I see a parent completely ignore his family while having dinner. I only hope he looks up from time and time to witness his kids growing up and gets a clue.
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| THIS is what I'm talking about!! OMG! |
Good point. There is a perception, apparently, that if you are visible, you're okay. If he had hidden away in another room there would have been squeals of outrage.
ReplyDeleteNot too long ago I saw an ad that touted the idea of the entire family 'being together', and there was a large happy photo of them together in a family room: mom was on her Ipad, Dad was using his tablet, the two teens were using X Box, and the littlest was on a full computer. oookayyy. This is the same thing. As long as you're visible, you don't have to make any other kind of contact.
I think this has its roots in the TV generation, and rented movies. You rent a movie for 24 hours, you by god watch it before you have to take it back. I went to supper one night (invited) with my husband, to a friend's house. She had a houseful of her kids and their girlfriends, all loaded into the living room, watching horror movies. My least favorite genre in the world. At one point she actually came out to the kitchen where we were huddled, and apologized, saying the boys had rented six movies and they needed to watch them Right Now.
Her husband made supper. We all three of us ate in the kitchen. When we left, no one even noticed.
When I was a kid you whispered in the movie theater, you kept your hands down and your voice on hold. When company came the TV was OFF. No argument. If you had a phone call, you excused yourself and answered it in the Other Room. Not at the table.
It's a different world, neither brave nor new, and as with most things by the time your kids have grown up it will still be changing. Maybe back to better.
That's a great picture. Sorta says it all.
Good point. There is a perception, apparently, that if you are visible, you're okay. If he had hidden away in another room there would have been squeals of outrage.
ReplyDeleteNot too long ago I saw an ad that touted the idea of the entire family 'being together', and there was a large happy photo of them together in a family room: mom was on her Ipad, Dad was using his tablet, the two teens were using X Box, and the littlest was on a full computer. oookayyy. This is the same thing. As long as you're visible, you don't have to make any other kind of contact.
I think this has its roots in the TV generation, and rented movies. You rent a movie for 24 hours, you by god watch it before you have to take it back. I went to supper one night (invited) with my husband, to a friend's house. She had a houseful of her kids and their girlfriends, all loaded into the living room, watching horror movies. My least favorite genre in the world. At one point she actually came out to the kitchen where we were huddled, and apologized, saying the boys had rented six movies and they needed to watch them Right Now.
Her husband made supper. We all three of us ate in the kitchen. When we left, no one even noticed.
When I was a kid you whispered in the movie theater, you kept your hands down and your voice on hold. When company came the TV was OFF. No argument. If you had a phone call, you excused yourself and answered it in the Other Room. Not at the table.
It's a different world, neither brave nor new, and as with most things by the time your kids have grown up it will still be changing. Maybe back to better.
That's a great picture. Sorta says it all.