One of the funniest conversations we've had as a family took place the day after we got back from NYC. We were driving home from Baltimore, after having a wonderful Passover Sedar at Jeff's parent's house and was listening to the soundtrack to "The Prom", the Broadway musical we had seen 2 days earlier, on the car ride home. There were so many funny lines in the show that you miss them from laughing at the line before it. By playing the soundtrack in the car, we could truly hear all the lyrics to the songs and laugh all over again. We were all enjoying this and having a good time on the 1 hr, 20 minute drive home.
Just a bit of background before I tell the conversation we had in the car. 11 years ago, when Samantha was born, Jeff started calling her his 'little baby girl'. At some point, he just shortened this term of affection to LBG. 11 years later and he still uses these initials from time to time to refer to Sam.
The Broadway musical "The Prom" is about a high school girl in Indiana, who is a lesbian and wants to bring another girl to the prom as her date. The school won't allow this to happen and decides to cancel the prom and quickly Emma becomes an outcast. Meanwhile, there are 4 aging Broadway stars who get wind of this news and decide it will help their career if they help this girl and make the news with their altruistic efforts.
Ok, now on to the conversation in the car on the ride home from Baltimore:
As we are listening to the music, there are certain lines that Sam hears and asks us what they mean.
Music: "...stealing the rights of a girl who is an LGBQ-Teen"
Sam: What does LGBQ mean?
Jeff/Me: L is for lesbian, G is for gay, B is for bisexual, and Q is for queer.
Sam: So when you call me your LBG....?
OH MY GOSH!! Jeff had no idea 11 years ago those letters he was using was going to have any other kind of meaning. We all got a good laugh and unpaused the music to keep listening.
Music: "...but if it comes to be, you've lost your virginity..."
Sam: What does virginity mean?
At this point, Jeff is dying and ready for this car ride to be over.
Jeff/Me: You know what sex is?
Sam: Yes, sadly I do.
Jeff/Me: Being a virgin means you haven't had sex yet.
Sam: So I am a virgin?
Jeff: Yes, and you will be until I'm dead.
Music: "....Let's hope you don't masturbate, 'cause the scripture says we'll have to cut off your hands..."
Jeff and I are holding our breath when this line comes and goes. We successfully make it 2 lines past this one in the song and give a sigh of relief. Looks like we made it thru and Sam didn't pick up on this word and ask what it is. I even do the motion of wiping the sweat off my brow as a gesture we are safe. Meanwhile, Ian is giggling because he knows exactly what is going on.
Sam: What does masturbate mean?
OMG! We all thought we were safe and out of the woods on this one.
Jeff: I'm getting out of the car, you don't even need to stop. I'll just jump out here.
Me: I'll tell you Sam what masturbate means. (And I do what I think is an awesome job of explaining it. Fortunately, Sam doesn't ask any follow-up questions.)
Jeff: We have just used Broadway musicals to explain Sex Ed to Sam. This is not normal.
Ian and I are laughing hysterically. In all the years we've been doing the drive to and from Jeff's parent's house, this has to be our most memorable yet.
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