My most favorite child-rearing book hands down has got to be "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It is like the author deconstructed Ian piece by piece and explains in great detail what makes him tick and the best way to relate to him. It really changed the dynamics of our relationship. Not only did it do wonders for the parent-child relationship, but it was an eye opener on being married to Jeff. I could so easily picture what he must've been like as a little boy. Jeff and Ian are cut from the same cloth and tactics on being a good mommy to Ian, also enabled me to be a good wife and partner to my husband.
Hindsight is 20/20. I knew that Jeff doesn't deal well with change and long ago learned the best way to get him to do something, wear something, or change something about him is you've got to start slowly. Plant a seed and then subtly bring it up a few times and gauge his reaction. Before you know it, Jeff will verbalize this new thing like it was his idea all along. It takes time on my part but it is more than worth it and we've found this works for us.
Looking back, I should've done the same ground work in quitting my part-time job. Instead, stupid me just sprung it on him Saturday morning on my way out the door. You don't need a crystal ball to know this was a huge mistake. It's been a few days and the dust has settled. Jeff has gotten used to the idea and never ceases to amaze me how fabulous he is. I even joked the other day when I caught him smiling at me that he must love me again. He said, "I've always loved you and will always love you. But sometimes I don't like you very much." A few hours later he said he was liking me again.
Believe it or not, I pushed the envelope a little further and went into territory most people wouldn't dare to go. I do a Kodakgallery photo album for each of the kids as they turn a year older. The photo album is a compilation of them throughout the year from the day after their previous birthday to the very next birthday. I had an online coupon offering 25% on all kodakgallery orders and was prepared to place the order on the photobooks. The total was $190.00. I figured it would be a good idea to run this purchase past Jeff to make sure he was comfortable with me spending this amount of money on something not necessary for our survival. These books could be ordered 2 years from now and it wouldn't make a difference. Jeff asked when the coupon expires. I told him on June 23rd. To my delight and amazement he said let's see how well we are doing with our budget on June 22nd and if we are pacing to be under, you can order the books before the coupon expires.
I was blown away by how awesome his answer was and felt like he met me more than half way. I was sort of expecting him to say, "work another weekend and you'll have the money for the photobooks." But fortunately this was not his response.
He knows I need to quit to be happy. I saw something on the news this morning that cemented my decision for me. Included in the passenger list on the missing Air France flight was a flight attendant flying for the first time since her maternity leave ended. She is leaving behind a 4 month old. I tear up thinking about this and her family. My heart goes out to them. I will cherish my time with the family and enjoy it to the fullest.
And just when I think I can't love my husband any more than I already do, he accepts my decisions despite him not agreeing with them and supports me in what I want. I know it isn't easy for him and I went about telling him in the absolute worst way. Jeff is my soul mate and we balance each other out. There is no one else I'd want to be with having to warm up to my ideas.
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