And away we go...

To my fellow passengers:

My two kids and I are getting on your flight later this morning. I'd like to apologize in advance for the execessive noise, commotion and chaos that will ensue upon us boarding and flying the two hours it will take to get to Orlando.

I have three main goals when flying with my kids;

1. Not get thrown off the plane
2. Do nothing that causes us to have an emergency landing before reaching our destination
3. Do not make the 6 o'clock news

I realize that I am pushing my luck each time I plan a trip. It isn't fun flying with Ian. I will remain cool and collected on the outside and you will think that I am the most laid-back mom ever, but really inside I am a nervous wreck hoping that we can get to Orlando in one piece, or at least without me having a heart attack or breakdown.

We make this trip to see family approx. 3 times a year. Unfortunately this is the most effecient way to get to Florida. I do everything in my power to make this as successful an experience as possible. Both kids get their own seat, we have one or two new toys for Ian that he hasn't played with before, we are loaded with movies and the portable DVD player, snacks and juice boxes ready to go, lollipops and m&ms. Furthermore, I will only book direct, non-stop flights and pick flying times that would seem to most agree with the kids being awake.

The older Ian gets, the louder and stronger he is. I've tried hard to mentally block out all the ways in the past I was certain we would be asked to leave. There was the time when Ian refused to get in his seat. Absolutely refused and started to throw a big temper tantrum. He managed to hide underneath the seat in front of him. The flight attendant was standing in the aisle waiting for me to give her the nod of the head that Ian was safely fastened in his seat. Ha! Everyone around us could see what was going on and no one spoke up. I think they wanted to take-off as badly as I did. I gave the nod and off we went. Believe me, I held my breath the flight attendant wouldn't check the window seat by me for Ian.

Then there was the time when Ian was so upset and nothing calmed him down. For close to 2 hours, he screamed at the top of his lungs. Passengers everywhere were passing their child's toys to our row to see if that would distract him a little from his screaming.

I clearly remember this one flight back home when a woman 4 rows back came up in mid-flight and said to me (loud enough for everyone around us to hear), "I have 3 kids and they never acted like that. You should take him to the back of the plane." Nice, huh? I simply replied, "It's a shame I can't be as good a mother as you."

Needless to say, if you can get Ian to be quiet and somewhat behave, we are never told to put the electronics away when it is time to land. Ian gets the royal treatment and is allowed the tray down and the dvd player on. Not once has anyone dared to come by and tell us to turn it off.

One time we approached the runway with Ian standing up in his seat looking out the window. That was priceless when the flight attendant looked the other way when walking by.

I realize I should have better control of my kids and they should obey and listen to my every command. However, I plead with those of you who think like that, please, you fly with Ian and tell me if you get him to behave any differently. I've pined for the day that Suppernanny will be do a special episode "Flying with the problem child" and see if she can help me deal with this.

And, now I'll be flying with 2!! By myself. How fun! The only saving grace I have is that it is Orlando we are going to and coming from. It is somewhat expected to always be full with kids flying.

And, if you ask Ian what he wants to be when he grows-up, his first answer is, "a pilot". Ah, the irony.