DUDE!! 2012 flew by! While it seems like there were days that felt they would never end and plenty of nights where Sam being awake from 2:00am to 5:00am for no apparent reason felt like an eternity, overall the year moved quicker than speed of light to me. We were busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
Yes, its time again to wrap up the year and move forward to 2013. Doesn't the number "2013" seem like such a big number?
Without further ado, here is my yearly wrap-up.
TRAVEL IN 2012:
March - Girl's weekend for Jen's birthday in Chesapeake Beach*
May - Overnight in D.C. for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer*
June -10 days in Orlando (taking care of my mom)*; Jeff took the kids overnight to Dutch Wonderland
June -Overnight in Arlington, VA for my birthday (surprise from Jeff)
July - Great Wolf Lodge with the whole family
July - Kids at Jeff's parents for 3 days
July - A week in Topsail, NC at the beach (me and the kids)
August - 10 days in Orlando with me and the kids; 1 1/2 weeks the kids in Orlando without me.
October - North Myrtle Beach, SC with the whole family
November - Girl's weekend in Berkeley Springs, WV*
December - Overnight in Philadelphia/Warrington, PA
*Represents trips taken solo.
It's been quite a year! By far, the biggest thing that has happened to our Toppall team this year is that Sam is pooping on her own and regularly. I can't possibly explain appropriately enough how much of a toll the "encompresis" was taking on me and the rest of the family. My heart goes out to anyone who has a child suffering from it. It got really bad, and I wasn't sure we'd ever be out of the woods, but for the last 4 months, Sam has consistently gone every day (sometimes even 2 or 3 times). And, It's without the aid of Ex-lax! I no longer think we need to request an IEP for Kindergarten next year and have to explain her situation to the school. Additionally, we've stopped carrying a back-up change of clothes and 10 extra pairs of underwear/pull-ups wherever we go. Another milestone I was sure we wouldn't see anytime soon.
Sam has shown us her love for helping out in the kitchen, whether it is making dinner, loading/unloading the dishwasher or getting her own snacks. She enjoys baking and getting her an Easy Bake Oven proved to be a most awesome Hanukkah gift. It is wonderfully exciting to see Sam writing her name and other words legibly.
Ian is doing great and we've discovered that gymnastics is definitely his thing. He not only loves doing it, but is starting to do some really cool things during his practices. And fortunately in this past year, his reading ability is where it needs to be. I can listen to Ian read for hours. I love hearing from parents, teachers, and his gymnastics gym coach what a great kid he is. It makes me feel like I am doing something right, but I can only take partial credit. Ian is polite, charming, and hard to resist. His enthusiasm, quick wit and friendly manner is getting him many, many fans.
Jeff continues to make me laugh over a whole host of things unfortunately I can't share or write about. We've made it another year together and I am still madly love with him. He is my best friend.
As for me, I've become a huge disappointment to myself. When November 20th came around and marked the 1 year anniversary of running the Philadelphia Marathon, I became depressed over what I've let happen over this past year. My time at the gym became almost non-existent (to the point my membership, unbeknownst to me, was cancelled ALL SUMMER and I didn't even know it until October!) and my weight is back to the scary numbers I vowed I'd never see again. I just can't seem to get it together. I try to present a healthy image (eating well, working out, etc) to the kids. I shudder to think what they will grow up thinking is normal watching my weight balloon up and down repeatedly. Ugh. I'm either obsessing over it or I am not. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground. At age 41, I am still trying to get it together. I am back at the bottom of the mountain facing a very big mental challenge to get back to the top or even start the climb. This is real. This is me. I just want to wake up and be a size 6. Unfortunately that is not going to happen without a lot of hard work. Frankly my mind is not there yet. I am coming to terms that anxiety, the feeling of being perpetually overwhelmed, and running around like a chicken with its head cut off is getting the better of me.
LOOKING FORWARD TO 2013:
The biggest thing I am looking forward to this coming year? It's our last year for paying for preschool. We only have 5 months of payments left. This is HUGE! While I don't think it will instantly make us millionaires, it will help us greatly in saving money and possibly think about a new car. You know, like in the next 3 years maybe it could actually happen.
In the Fall of 2013, I am going to have two kids at the same school, for the same amount of time. And, the best part is, the school is located only a 1/4 mile from the house. I can't even begin to imagine how amazing this will be, to not have to coordinate drop-offs, pick-ups and do the Monday shuffle with a minute to spare.
The other really great thing I am looking forward to are my three trips to Orlando; one with just Ian, one trip with just Sam, and one trip on my own. Ian and I will be there at the end of January. I'm going down by myself over President's day weekend. And, I'll go with Sam at the end of March. I was able to identify a time when one child had off from school, while the other child still had to go. Each trip will be four days in length. We will do things that are of interest to only them and give my family the opportunity to have some great one-on-one time with each Ian or Sam. As my parents get older, I want to see them more frequently and have my kids spend as much time as possible. I hope these trips will be special for them and we can continue them each year.
In 2013, I'd like our life to be more simple, but honestly I don't see how that can happen. Maybe it needs to occur in baby steps. I am actively working on saying "No" as much as possible when being asked to take on more than I can handle. This is helping with not adding stress and chaos to an already busy day. The one thing that does make life easier is that as Sam gets older, she and Ian can be signed up for similar camps and programs. Plus, her being potty-trained is allowing her be accepted at places she wasn't previously.
One thing I can do to make my life a little simpler is to go through an electronics withdrawal every Saturday. For one year, I will not long onto Facebook or check email on Saturdays. I will answer texts, but not initiate a text message. I am very curious to see how I do with this one. I like to keep things interesting and 24 hours of downtime might be a welcome change or it might make me realize just how out-of-control-connected I've become.
Another resolution I am going to make is to not watch "Beverly Hills 90210" (the original series) reruns for the entire year. I have to agree with Jeff on this one and bypass the channel if I see the show is on. Did you know the show will have been OFF the air for 13 years? Yes, its time to say good-bye to Brenda, Dylan, Brandon, Kelly, David, Steve, Donna and Andrea. Oh, and I can't forget Valerie, who gave the show a breath of fresh air when she came on and moved into Brenda's bedroom.
I'd love to write a resolution about getting back in shape, making healthy eating choices, and overall feeling better about myself, but I hate the idea of succeeding and then failing all over again. Its much easier to stay a failure, right? Yeah, I know, I am probably depressing you too with this. Don't worry, my plan in 2013 is to figure this out and mentally come to terms with what needs to change so that I am not back in this position all over again in the future. Until then, pass the fries to me, please.
My last resolution is it would be nice if we did a trip to the beach over the summer and went with a few other families. I think it would be so much fun for the kids. I feel like if I write this down, then maybe, just maybe there is a half a chance of it happening.
A NEW YEAR'S WISH:
Happy 2013 to all my family and friends. Thanks for another year of reading what I write in this blog. And for those who seem to be following me and I haven't had the chance to meet you, an even bigger thank you for reading the words of someone you don't even know. That's pretty cool!
I hope this coming year is one filled with many magical adventures, gaggles of laughter, and incredible moments when you feel so blessed to be alive and smiling. We are all so fortunate to have each other. I love you!
You gotta stop beating yourself up about your weight, etc. NONE of us is where we want to be with exercise, diet, etc. We all face daily challenges in that regard.
ReplyDeleteInstead, try making some very small changes and see what that nets you (like your idea to forgo electronics on Saturdays -- that's a good one!).
For example, I got tired of the dinnertime scramble and subsequently eating cruddy food that made me feel unsatisfied and gross (which lead to foraging for more food - ugh).
So I started making two good meals on the weekend to ensure we have healthy, ready-to-go dinners 2-4 times that coming week. (when I'm really organized, I double the food prep and put half in the freezer for another week.) It takes a couple of hours on a Saturday or Sunday, but knowing that dinner is made and I'm not going to eat junk makes a WORLD of difference in how I feel mentally and physically.
Still doesn't solve my problem of getting almost no exercise, but at least I can better control the food I am stuffing into my face!