Tale from the crazy crypt

The Crazy Man's pattern each year has him traveling for most of February.  This year finds him in California for a few days hanging out in LA and a week long cruise to Mexico.  Then he comes back for a day and heads to South Florida for 8 days. 

The last day I went to work for him before his trip was a new situation I had yet to encounter in my two years of knowing him.  It was a Thursday and of course was one of the many snow days we've had in the D.C. metro area this Winter.  This meant that Sam and Ian were home from school. I could leave Ian at home by himself, but I needed to take Sam with me to go work for the Crazy Man.  She has gone with me two or three other times in the past, so I knew she'd be fine hanging out with her iPad, sitting next to me.  As Sam and I were putting on our jackets to head over, the phone rings.

Me:  Hello?

Crazy Man:  Hi Robyn, I need your help. I'm in a crisis. I have an emergency.  You are about to come over here, right? 

Me:  Yes, Sam and I are putting on our jackets now.  What can I do for you?

Crazy Man:  I need you to go to the Pharmacy at Walmart. (He has been a customer there for years.  They know him and me without having to identify ourselves when calling).  They open at 9:00am.  When you get there, don't stand in line.  Cut the line and go to the front window to speak to the pharmacist.  This is an emergency.  I am constipated.  I need help.  Don't wait in line.   Whatever you do, don't stand in line.

Me:  Ok, I can do that.  What would you like me do once I get to the pharmacist's window?

Crazy Man:  Have the pharmacist call me immediately.  This is an emergency.  I am constipated.  I need to talk to her.

Me:  Ok, I'm on my way there now.

5 Minutes later, I get to Walmart.  I call The Crazy Man.

Me:  We are here at the pharmacy.  They don't open for another 5 minutes.  Don't worry, there is no one here standing in line.  I will call you back when I see the pharmacist.

Crazy Man:  Ok.  Good job.

I get to the pharmacist and tell her The Crazy Man is about to call her.  Could she please take his call immediately. He is dealing with a crisis and desperately needs their help.  She is wonderful and says, 'Not a problem.'   I can hear her talking to the Crazy Man.  She keeps saying, "That's alright.  That's why were are here.  Don't worry, you just need to be patient and let it work.  Yes, just be patient.  You will be fine."

The pharmacist gets off the phone and tells me it will only be a few minutes.  I take Sam and we go buy her some Swedish Fish for being so good about this little side trip.  Once I get back to the pharmacy, the assistant tells me they are done with his prescription and I can be on my way.  In a bit of TMI (too much information), I come to find out that after the Crazy Man's emergency constipation situation has been taken care of, he had a prescription of Viagra called in and needed to be picked up.   OMG!  I can't even begin to imagine what this pharmacist thinks of the Crazy Man. 

Apparently the Crazy Man plans to have a very good time in CA and on the cruise.