Social Skills

After my devastating morning with Sam a few weeks ago, I met with my therapist to process everything.  She has a wonderful way about her and helped me see what was going on.  It's this kind of perspective and eye-opening insight that makes me think I might just survive Sam growing up.  I always leave her office with renewed hope, new coping skills and greater compassion for my little girl.  I will never stop loving her, I just need to understand her better.  Within 60 minutes, I walk back through our front door feeling like I can help Sam with her angst and start relating to her with brand new eyes. 

Furthermore, Sam has been attending a social skills therapy group for 1.5 hours each week.  The agenda on topics being covered (coping skills, self-esteem, conflict resolution/self-control, sensory awareness, cooperation, putting it into practice) is dead-on perfect for our situation.  I feel like someone opened Sam's head and looked inside to see what areas needed to be covered. 

The first week the group met was a disaster.  For 43 minutes, Sam screamed at the top of her lungs she didn't want to be there and would like to go home.  NOW!!!!  It was a bit awkward as other offices in the building were actively meeting with their patients and Sam is screaming like a lunatic.  Fortunately I stuck it out and somehow got Sam to enter the room where the kids were meeting.  But she didn't take a seat like a normal person would.  Noooooo, she sat in the chair with her head buried where your bottom would be and had her tush sticking straight up in the air.  Yes, that's Sam's style.  I left the room with her like that.  I have no idea how long she sat like that, but I didn't really care.  She was in the room!!  And was not crying or screaming anymore.  I was able to be on the other side of the door, sitting with the other parents waiting for her.  Nirvana!   It was another 45 minutes before it was time to end the session and head home.  Happily, Sam came out of the room and was in good spirits.  On the drive home she told me that next week she will even participate. 

Fast forward one week later and she was the first one to run into the room when it was time for the group session!  You could hear her laugh and talk the loudest.  Whew, what a relief that she was embracing the social skills therapy group. 

My favorite part in all this was when I volunteered at her class' Valentine's day party and a few of the girls at various times said "Hi Samantha".  Sam actually looked in each girl's direction and said "Hi (insert name)" back.  WOW!!!  This is huge.  I am sure I was tearing up and looking like a fool.  But to witness something so normal and everyday behavior come from my daughter was a very proud moment for me.  Sam even thanked me for coming to the class party.  Another milestone moment for me.  The other day Sam told me that I was frustrating her.  Yippee!!  Something that she was able to tell me about how she was feeling that made sense.

Believe me, I am not expecting things to be perfect.  Nor am I expecting miracles to occur.  But for the time being, I am ok with how its going with Sam.  It's now been 2 weeks and we haven't had any harsh words or explosive temper tantrums.  I am sure I letting my guard down and will be blindsided soon. For the time being, I will enjoy my daughter and cherish being with her.