Flying solo

The helicopter mom in me is always at odds with the free-range mom in me.   This duel has been going on as long as Hamilton vs Burr. 

I want my kids to be well-adjusted and be able to think for themselves.  I want them to be able to problem solve and figure things out.  I'd like them to be able to take care of themselves and show me they have a good head on their shoulders.

But then I think, "Ian's only 11!!! (or whatever age he is when I'm having this tug of war in my head)  Samantha is only --!!"  They aren't ready to be independent.  They still need me.  I want to be needed!  They have their whole life ahead of them when their dad or me won't be around and they will be forced to sink or swim in this game of life.  Let me help them now. Why can't I parent them in a bubble and keep them firmly tucked under my wing?   Because that would be a disservice to them and society.

Most of the time my free-range parenting side prevails.  I am quick to let the kids stay home by themselves.  I am quick to tell them they need to make their own breakfasts and lunches.  I am quick to let Ian be part of a small group of his friends where he crosses a very busy intersection near our house and does lunch on his own.  I'm quick to let Ian walk home from school on his own if I need to take Samantha to an activity or an appt at the same time school lets out.  There have been several instances where the kids had to leave the house on their own and walk to school in the morning when Jeff and I couldn't be there.  I've taken a bold leap in letting the kids exert their independence and start doing things on their own.  This was never more evident then when Ian flew to Orlando for a long weekend by himself.  Yes, without me, without daddy, without anyone he knew.

Getting ready to board the plane, all on his own!

Ian handled it like a champ.  Me, on the other hand, had a few tears after saying good-bye to him and watched him get on the pane.  I can't believe at some point I thought this was a good idea.  What was I thinking?!?!?   They board unaccompanied minors first. Before anyone else gets on the plane, the unaccompanied minor is sent to take their seat and get settled.

I gave Ian 5 minutes and then started texting him on this spare cell phone we let him use for the trip.  This was our conversation as all the other passengers were boarding:

Me:  Hi.  Just checking in.  Everything ok on the plane?
Ian:  Yes I'm fine.
Me:  Ok.  I'm proud of you. You are going to have a great time. I love you.
Ian:  thanks.  I love you too.
Me:  Did someone help you get your suitcase in the overhead bin?
Ian:  Yes.
Me:  Ok, have a great trip. I love you.
Ian:  Bye. I love you too.
Me:  Has anyone checked on you to see if you are ok?
Ian:  Yes.
Me:  Ok, I will stop bugging you.  Make good choices.  I love you very much.
Ian:  Bye.  I love you too.

Ha!  Baby steps on this whole free-range parenting thing, right?  :)

I am happy to report that we both survived Ian's trip.  Ian did great.  I figured this is good training for the summer when the kids are at camp for a whole month.  Another instance where the helicopter mom in me was grounded big-time.