My dad showed me at a young age what it means to believe in something. He has got to be the most patriotic person I know, and I am pretty sure he bleeds red, white and blue. You don't come between my dad and the U.S. Having fought in the Vietnam war (front lines baby, carrying the radio with its ridiculously long and very noticeable antenna), he had little tolerance for Jane Fonda and her act of betrayal for our men fighting for our country. I remember like it was yesterday, when my dad took my friend and I to the mall in the early 80's. He and other individuals protested outside the store Jane Fonda was at promoting some exercise video or something. My friend and I were inside the store killing time, watching Jane do her thing and outside my dad was circling the mall parking lot holding up "Hanoi Jane" signs.
It doesn't come easy for me to speak up. Oh sure, I talk a good game and am quick to point out a situation being handled unfairly or injustice being done. But telling the people in charge and making my views known for the record, doesn't come second nature. Confrontation, not matter how politely packaged, is still confrontation.
With age has come the ability (and chutzpah!) to find my voice. I am proud of myself. These past few months, I not only spoke-up once, but twice on different matters.
The first being the kids' swim teacher. The mom whose daughter got stuck with this gem, I see each Saturday. You can actually see her blood boiling during the lesson and getting peeved over exactly the same issues I had. I encouraged her to speak up and say something to the swim director. But she didn't and got stuck with this 'teacher' week after week. There is no way they will know there is a problem or do things differently, unless you say something.
The most current situation, where I've spoken up, is with our synagogue. My daughter goes to preschool and has one year left before entering kindergarten. For many reasons, it has turned out not to be the place we once thought. It would be so easy to continue sending Sam there next year and not ruffle any feathers, but no, a stand needed to be taken. My family and I are making a big switch and starting July, we will have a new synagogue to call home. Ian and Sam don't know yet the changes that are taking place, but as soon as religious school (Ian goes on Sundays) and preschool is done (at the end of May), we will sit down and tell them. I want them to know that Daddy and I didn't take the easy way out. That we are standing up for what we believe in and how important it is to us. Fortunately a lot of Sam's friends are changing with us, so it will be relatively seamless for her. But this is a big deal to us and a decision that didn't come lightly. We've been experiencing some backlash, but until the year is over, I continue going there almost daily, holding my head up high.
In both situations I knew it was the right thing to do almost instantly. Albeit, I was nervous, like first day of school jitters, but a weight came off my shoulders and I felt this immense sense of relief. It was out there. I had issues. I wanted them known. I was planning on taking action no matter how my comments were received and I felt good about it. A smile came on my face and I knew deep down I did the right thing. There was no second guessing myself. It was the right decision to speak up on behalf of my family and it was in the best interest of my kids.
I will use this newfound power wisely. More than anything I want to set an example for my kids and show them not to cower on the sidelines and let others do the dirty work for you, if they decide to do it at all. I want them to see that even though it is more difficult to step-up, it is also the most honorable.
I thank my parents for giving me these values and hope I make them proud, like they did me.
Which synagogue are you planning to join?
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