Tales from the Pandemic 6: Week 5

We are now in our 5th week of being at home.  The governor has ordered stay at home orders until June 10th.  However, we don't know if this is the absolute end date.  There is so much uncertainty.  The not knowing is what is the hardest.  As Jeff has accurately observed about me over the last 18 years we've known each other, is that I am at my best and happiest when making plans.  It can be for anything - a trip, an event, whatever that is different from my day to day. I love having something to look forward to.  I was doing ok up until the announcement that Broadway would remain closed until June 9th.  Deep down, I knew the possibility of the two shows I had tickets for (April 26th for Plaza Suite and May 24th for Jagged Little Pill) had the odds stacked against it happening, but until the official cancellation was announced, there was always a small glimmer of hope.  The day before I posted the below message on Facebook, the announcement I was dreading was made.  And this is when it all started getting to me. 

These shows getting cancelled is so trivial compared to what so many are going thru. People are getting sick, loved ones are dying, many are losing their jobs, and so many won't have money to pay their bills, put food on the table, or make rent. All things considered, Jeff, the kids and I are doing ok.   I need to get over my disappointment and be grateful. So grateful for all that we have, including our health and not worrying about having enough money to live.

Robyn Mazer Toppall

April 9 at 10:05 AM · 

The idea for this post started off very differently from the way it is ending.

ORIGINAL: I’ve gone thru a lot of moods in the last 25 days. This past week I was angry, so very angry that I walked thru Safeway and hated seeing all of us wearing masks and that our world has come to this. Yesterday, I was very disappointed that my two upcoming trips to NY to see Broadway shows I was so excited about had officially been cancelled when the closure is now thru June 7th. And I have previously mourned all the school plays, Bas Mitzvahs, 6th grade promotion events and many more that will not go on as planned.

I realized this morning when walking Lucy, that it is a gorgeous day and I need to be happy that I have the opportunity to take her for 5 mile walks every morning (since March 13th!). We have our health and so many others are fighting for their lives or have lost the fight.

NOW: at the 3 mile mark, I come across a line of cars, bumper to bumper, making their way to the Salvation Army trucks for food distribution. The line is .75 mile long and also snakes around their parking lot in a big circle. At the snap of a finger, i become sad and scared for all of us.
I hate this stupid Coivd-19 and wish none of us ever heard about it. Trying very hard to find reasons to be grateful when the effects of all of this will be so devastating to so many in my community and all the others in our world.