Another bad habit bites the dust.

Not to make Jeff feel too bad, but him being gone 4 days for work was incredible.  It was our first week with our new schedule and I had high hopes that all would go well.  We had prepped the kids that we needed to work as a team and to help out more than usual.  The result of Jeff being gone went beyond my highest expectations.

Sam has officially been broken of a really bad, annoying habit.  Her inability to stay in bed (after reading her a story, singing her some songs and snuggling with her) was riddled with insanity.  She would come out of her room repeatedly with one or all of the following reasons:  my eyeballs hurt, my knee hurts, my arm hurts, my hair hurts, it's too light, its too dark, I need to wash my hands, my pillow itches,  my pillow's too lumpy, my blankets keep falling off my bed, I can't find pinky, it's too quiet, it's too loud, I'm thirsty, I'm starving, it's too cold, it's too hot, I have a question, I have something to say, and on and on and on.   It was enough to drive a person mad.

This had been going on for a ridiculous amount of time.  Since Jeff was the main person to put Sam down each night, he would deal with her craziness.  I stayed out of it and would completely ignore Sam each and every time she came out of her room.  After about 5 or 6 instances, Jeff would get really mad and yell at the top of his lungs for her to stay in her room.  At which point, Sam would turn around, run into her room and cry herself to sleep.  None of this was ideal.  Jeff did his best to be patient and help Sam with whatever issue she was having.  Until he couldn't take anymore.  Sam never knew at which point Jeff would have enough and explode.

When I knew I was going to have to take over putting Sam down, I decided to put an end to this nonsense, once and for all. 

THE FIRST NIGHT:  Sam comes out of her room, I tell her she lost TV the next day.  The 2nd time Sam came out of her room, I told her she lost the use of her iPad the next day.  Sam ran into her room crying and fell asleep.

THE SECOND NIGHT:  As I was putting Sam down to bed, I told her she was excellent all day.  She definitely deserved tv and her iPad the next day.  However, if she came out of her room, I would take each away again.  AND, if she managed to stay in her room all night, then I would give her a special surprise the next morning.  Sam stayed in her room all night!

THE NEXT MORNING:  When Sam woke up, we did a dance of joy and cheered for her being in her room the whole night.  I gave her a choice of 4 special treats:  1. A new game for her iPad, 2. $1.00,  3. Frozen yogurt after school, and 4. A small cookie before breakfast.   Sam chose a new game for her iPad.

THE THIRD NIGHT:  Sam stayed in her room all night!

THE NEXT MORNING:  Gave her 4 choices again.  She loved it!  This time she chose a lollipop.

THE FOURTH NIGHT:  Jeff came home and it was up to him to put her down.  I begged him to back me up on this and keep it going.  He did!  I went out with some friends and called in to find out how it went.  Sam came out of her room once and he promptly told her she lost tv the next day.  That was it and she stayed in her room the rest of the night.  Yay!!  Sam was definitely testing Jeff to see what he was going to do.  Thank G-d Jeff stuck to the program.  This will make my life so much easier for when he leaves town again.

THE FIFTH NIGHT AND SO ON:  Sam stays in her room and doesn't come out.  She knows she can go to the bathroom if needed, but that's it.  It is a real pleasure putting her down and we've cut out so much stress and angst not having to deal with a crazy-long extended bedtime routine.

When I offer her a treat in the morning, she tells me what the choices should be.  The other day, she added to the list "Be good to mommy and daddy".   WOW!  Now, that's a treat for me.  :)

The other benefit to Jeff being gone, was not having to load or unload the dishwasher -- at all!  I managed to go the whole week and not accumulate any dirty dishes.  We met friends for dinner, ate on paper plates and kept all food prep to a minimum.  It wasn't our healthiest week of dinners, but it was super nice after long days of running around to not prepare a full-blown meal.

Ian was super adorable and kept asking me how I thought it was going.  On Monday afternoon at 4:00pm, he gets in the car after school pick-up and says, "Mom, are you doing ok?  Did you have a good day?  I think we are doing ok with Daddy being gone."   The funny thing is, so far nothing was different than if Jeff was working out of his office locally.  It was only once we got past the 6:00pm hour that it would be a difference with him out of town.

The next morning, I was running late getting us out the door to meet Ian's bus.  I looked at Ian and asked if it would be okay if we went to bus stop #3 instead of our usual #1.  He said fine and that gave me another 5 minutes.  However, by the time we actually got to the car, it was now 10 minutes later.  Ian looked at the time and said, "I don't think we are doing so good today."  Hehehehehe.

Jeff stayed in town this week and was able to go to Sam's preschool graduation.  I was so happy he could attend this.  The next 2 weeks he is back to traveling.  We are going to be just fine!

Please, just go to sleep!!

Here is some free parenting advice to all those mom and dad's out there who still have a child using a crib:  KEEP YOU LITTLE BOY OR GIRL IN THE CRIB FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!!!  Whatever you do, do not, and I repeat, do not be eager to get them into a toddler bed or big kid bed.

It is not worth it!  It is not worth the sleepless nights.  It is not worth the early-crack-of-dawn rising.  It is not worth the delayed falling asleep at night.  And, it is certainly not worth all three happening each and every night.

This past Sunday, Jeff went to retrieve Sam after her nap and discovered she was just about to catapult herself completely over the crib rail.  A quick decision was made on the spot to assemble Ian's old toddler bed and move her out of her crib and into a bed that would not cause a safety issue.

Let the fun begin!  Sam absolutely loves her new bed and of course, her new freedom.  She used to go to bed at 8:00pm; now she averages 9:30pm each night.  Her M.O. is to let us tuck her in bed, read her a few books, kiss her good-night and sing her a song.  We close the door to her room and within 5 minutes she is standing in her doorway either asking for another book to be read, a tissue for her nose, or to watch Elmo.  After about 6 of these stalling tactic episodes, she finally gets the idea that she has to stay in bed.

Then somewhere in the middle of the night, Sam wakes-up and all kinds of things happen.  One night she asked for a diaper change.  Okay.  Another night, I hear her opening and closing her bedroom door over and over again.  One night she announced loudly, "I'm awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake".  Another time, I caught Sam going into Ian's room to see what he was up to....um...hello, he was sleeping!!!

Each morning, a little before 5:00am, I'll turn over in my bed, look at the video monitor and notice she is not in her bed.  Not sure what she is up to, but I know she is in her room (a dark room too!) and hanging out in there.  One morning, about 5:30am, she crawled back in bed, covered herself very carefully and laid back down.  However, after about 10 minutes, she heard Jeff wake-up and ran to the door to let us know she was awake.

My little girl was averaging 11 to 12 hours of sleep each night.  Now, I am not so sure if she is even getting 5 hours a night.   Oh my!

Of course Jeff keeps mentioning that we went through the same exact thing with Ian.  And, of course, I've already blocked those long, sleepless nights from my memory.

My advice to you is this:  If you have the choice to keep your toddler contained in the crib, do it for as long as possible.  Learn from us and keep your sanity in the sleep department.  This is one milestone that is not worth jumping up and down with joy for.

5 Star Hotel

Ian has turned his bedroom into something similar to a stay at a hotel. Jeff is the main parent to put him down to bed each night. Their routine is practice writing, bath, books, and then lights-out. However, Jeff is a sucker for hearing the words "I'm hungry" and refuses to say no to Ian when hearing these words. Ian has figured out this persuasive stalling tactic and is not afraid to use it nightly.

I'll be at the dining room table on our computer and see Jeff come downstairs and put together a snack for Ian. I'll ask what he is doing and Jeff says, "Ian is hungry. I am getting him some insert various snack item here" Really? You think Ian is hungry? Sure. Right. This is his sure-fire way to stay up another 10 minutes. According to Jeff, he'll never say no and make Ian go to bed hungry. The only saving grace is that whatever snack is brought to Ian is uber-healthy. There will be no offerings of goldfish, pretzels, or cheez-its. It is fruit, cheesestick, or go-gurt all the way.

Funny that whenever I have to put Ian to bed, he never once says he is hungry. I guess room service at Chez Toppall Inn is only available during Daddy's shift.