The day everyone showed up

Team Toppall just had a very big day.  The biggest!  For 3 weeks leading up to Saturday, February 9th, I freakishly checked the 10 day forecast on two different weather apps twice a day, no joke! Each day we got one day closer for the day I needed to have good weather.  Eventually I got to the point where February 9th finally started appearing in the 10 days forecasted and I could to start to finally breathe easy that Mother Nature will not mess up our plans.  The Washington DC metro area is unable to handle even the littlest bit of Winter weather and is quick to shut down.  It was a very real threat that the 2nd week in February could've been a huge disaster to have family fly in or drive down from NJ.

Why the worry?   Everyone from Orlando and relatives from New Jersey and Maryland came to town to celebrate my mom's 75th birthday (which actually IS February 9th) and to attend Ian's play, "Rock of Ages".   We only had once chance to get it right as the family flew in on Friday afternoon and was flying back on Sunday afternoon.

What a day it was!  It was perfect in every way and honestly, it felt surreal how all it all came together.  I feel so fortunate that everyone wanted to come to town and cheer Ian on in his role as Lonny Barnett.  He completely killed it.  With my mom turning 75 that day, my sister and I hosted a festive lunch at a nearby restaurant that made my mom feel special.   The icing on the cake was getting my cousin LeeAnn and her wife to come down from NJ.  This was very much unexpected and my mom couldn't believe her eyes when LeeAnn walked in the room.

The day went without a hitch.  The weather didn't get in our way.  The family was all together (with the exception of Meghan who recently moved to San Diego) and there was much reason to celebrate. As Mary Poppins would say, "Practically perfect in every way."

And now Winter can resume with its plans for snow, sleet or ice.  I've gotten beyond the one day I cared about, to the point I was losing sleep over it, and am back to breathing easy and enjoying watching the snow that is currently falling as I write this.

Text what?

I am amazed by the number of parents who are hands-off and let their kids (especially teens!) have basically no limits when it comes to social media, texting and playing rated "M" ("M" means mature and is appropriate for ages 17+) video games.

I trust my kids but I am cautious of their peers.  It makes me nervous that no one seems to be aware of what they are doing, or the type of video games they are playing. So many of these games are full of shooting, realistic violence, and war type scenarios. There was one game Ian asked if he could get that had dead female corpses.  And you had to examine the corpse to figure out what happened.  I should be okay with this because as the reviews said, the dead NAKED corpse wasn't onscreen for very long and I believe there was only one of them.  Um, what???  Yeah, that's not happening in my house.  Not at age 13, 14, 15 or 16.  Just reading the description of this game freaked me out.  

Don't even get me started on the texting.  OMG!  Ian is a part of many group texting threads.  These conversations just keep going and going and going.  I monitor Ian's electronic communication.  I think it is important to make sure everything is on the up and up.  To be honest, I am breaking myself in with Ian on how vigilant I want to be because it's Samantha I am truly worried about.  She is still a few years away from getting a phone and most likely having many friends to text with.  Even so, I am super glad I do check Ian's texts.  There was this one group chat that made me feel ill; completely nauseas on what I read being a texted by a friend.  It was vile and disgusting and very much out of line.  There was no reason for it and these horrid texts appear out-of-left-field and make zero sense to the ongoing conversation.  I was particularly pleased that the other kids in the group text either told him "NO / Stop!", ignored him completely or tried to reason with him why it wasn't appropriate.  It pained me to know my son was even seeing this obscene messages.  I took the appropriate measures to make sure this child stopped and hopefully even get mental help for voicing such thoughts, but here's the thing I am most stumped about....why was I the only parental type figure to see this???   With up to 20 others in the text thread, I am the only one to notice the vulgarity?  Really?   I just don't get it.  Are all these parents' heads buried in the sand?  Are they in denial that any harm could come from this?  I hope not.  But its appearing that way to me.

Braces gone wrong

This February will be two full years of Ian having braces in round 2.  Round 1 happened in 6th grade. Since we did round 1, we were told that when round 2 came, his need for dental work would not be as lengthily of a process. Or so we hoped.  Braces in round 2 should last approx. 12 to 18 months.  Definitely going in to 8th grade they would be off.

Each time Ian makes his routine visit to the orthodontist, he thinks this is IT.  This is the visit that Dr. H. will say, your overbite has corrected itself and your need for braces is no more.  And each time we visit the orthodontist, the reality is very, very different.  Ian has tried headgear, bands, springs and is currently sporting some new type appliance in his mouth that the orthodontist office retired using years ago on other patients.  All in the fruitless attempt at correcting his overbite.

At his last appointment, Dr. H. measured the gap between the upper teeth and lower teeth to see what progress is getting made.  Much to our disappointment, we find out that in 2 years (TWO YEARS!!), Ian's overbite has not shrank at all.  At All.  This news is the complete opposite of thinking you will be getting your braces off.

There is one last resort.  It has been suggested to pull a few teeth and then close the gap.  This will correct the overbite.  Ian was all for it (anything to get these braces off as soon as possible!), but then found out if teeth get pulled, it will be an additional year getting the gap to close.  OY!

Ian did not take the news of his mouth's lack of progress and movement whatsoever well.  As soon as we got in the car, he threw a show stopping temper tantrum and was ready to pull his braces off on his own.  There was really nothing I could say to help him calm down.  I agree with Ian that it is ridiculous his overbite has not moved any.  Furthermore, Ian doesn't even care about fixing the overbite and just wants to be done.  Ian, who is currently in 8th grade, now has visions of going to college in braces.

After we left the orthodontist's office, we made our way to Duck Donuts.  Hopefully Duck Donuts can help change Ian's doom and gloom outlook.  2 donuts and 1 egg, cheese & bacon donut sandwich later and we are back on the road going home.  Ian is a bit calmer now and has stopped screaming.  Most likely because he is in a sugar coma. :)

Our latest plan is to give these newest set of spring like pieces of metal in his mouth a good effort and see if it can do the trick.  We won't know if its working for another month or two. But at what point do you say enough is enough and either pull perfectly great teeth or wipe your hands of all of it and walk away?  This whole situation is crazy and I really feel bad for Ian, who said he can't even eat with these new type springs in his mouth.  Although, he had no problem eating those donuts. :)

Yes, that is 2 donuts surrounding egg, cheese and bacon!

Look, Ian found his smile again!

End of the Year Wrap Up: 2018 Edition

I am totally amusing myself with today's blog.  I haven't written consistently in a very long time.  So sporadic through 2018 and I'm a bit embarrassed that this will only be my 32nd post this year.  In my heyday, I never missed my pattern of every other day and easily wrote upwards of 130 to 160 posts a year.  I can't start something and not see it thru.  And my end of the year wrap up post follows a very consistent formula on how I like to end the year. Even when I don't feel like writing and am not inspired, I still need to do my ending post.  I find it very fascinating what I obsess over and what I could care less about.

This past year was a huge one for us.  Ian reached the milestone in the Jewish religion that every kid and their parents stress over and get anxious and excited about all at the same time. Ian became a Bar Mitzvah in May.  He did an amazing job and made Jeff and I very proud.  If I have to give one highlight to 2018, this undoubtedly is it.

I am constantly in awe that I am a mother to a 10 year old and a 13 year old.  There is so much more they can do for themselves.  One of the better milestones we get to experience is that a babysitter is no longer needed; even when we go out at night.  It's not like Jeff and I are always on a date night -- far from it -- but the few times we did have evening plans that did not include the kids, we were comfortable to leave them home alone.  Given that we do not have family close by to babysit, hiring a babysitter gets very costly.

Another year has flown by and I hope I've done a better job of keeping up with the hustle and bustle of our lives.  Ian pretty much handles his social life now and I just check in with the various parents to make sure they are aware of what the boys are planning.  I never thought I'd be "that" parent who questions and monitors everything, but somehow I've become her.  It's true what they say, you shouldn't be your kid's best friend; you need to be a parent first and foremost.


Travel this year:

March:  Weekend in Pennsylvania for Alexa and Lia's B'nei Mitzvah
March: Niagara Falls (Canada side) and Pittsburgh for 5 days
April:  Susanne and I took the boys to NY for the day for Sam's Bar Mitzvah party
May:   Robyn in Orlando for 4 days for Meghan's graduation from College
June:   Pennsylvania for the day for Uncle Bernard's party
June -July:   Ian and Sam in Orlando for 15 days
July:  Jeff and Robyn overnight in Pennsylvania for Chelsea's party.
July- August:  Both kids at Camp Ramah for 27 days
August:   Robyn in MA and VT for 2 days
September:  Ian in Nofolk for the weekend for Elijah's Bar Mitzvah
September:  Robyn in Orlando for 5 days
November:  Ian and Robyn in Pennsylvania and NYC for the weekend for Jonah's Bar Mitzvah
November:  Week in Myrtle Beach for Thanksgiving

I always think that we do very little traveling and while it's true we are gone hardly ever for more than 2 or 3 days at a time, and rarely as a family, we do manage to get out of town if all it requires is a road trip.  Most of our reasons for getting anywhere in 2018 involved an invitation of some sort and us accepting.

One of our most favorite trips was to Niagara Falls.  We went during the kids' spring break and unfortunately some of the stuff we would do wasn't operating yet for the season, but it mattered very little as we had a great time.   Looking at the Falls never gets old.

This year I spent only 1 day in NYC and saw two shows:  Summer (based on Donna Summer's life) and The Other Josh Cohen.  Both were very enjoyable and it made for a very fun and long day in the Big Apple.  

We also did not make it to the beach this past Summer.  It was just too much on top of the Bar Mitzvah and something had to give.  So far its looking promising that we will be able to return to OC, NJ with my cousin and her family this Summer.

Ian began his 2nd year of middle school with no struggles and instantly found himself asking a girl out on a date and getting cast the staring role of the school play, "Rock of Ages".  What an exciting time for him. The relationship with the girl never went beyond the first date, but he can now say he's done it and it did go well.  However, they decided it would be better to be friends.

Samantha is having a much better time with her studies in 5th grade.  The right teacher is everything!  Samantha's teacher this year is new to the school and has been fantastic working with Samantha.  We do plan to schedule testing with a reading specialist to see if Samantha has something specific that can be diagnosed rather than waiting for her to fall below grade level before the school system will intervene.  Horseback riding is still at the top of Sam's list of activities she enjoys.  In a most wonderful turn of events, Sam decided to register with Ian's drama group through George Mason University and also do acting.  If you ask me, this is where Sam is truly going to shine.  The girl can be so dramatic and just needs the right vehicle to let it go free.

I have to say, I am most looking forward to the time I will have with Jeff from 1:30pm to 5:00pm every Saturday from February to June while the kids are at their drama program together.  He has plans for us to go grocery shopping or to Costco or wash/vacuum the cars, or clean the house.  While I have plans for us to have a late lunch, or early dinner or go to a movie if the timing works out.  Ha!  Maybe we can compromise and take turns checking off items on each of our lists.

My job at the preschool is still going great.  The women I work with are truly wonderful and so much fun to be around.  And in the best update I have from the beginning of 2018, I am most pleased to write that I no longer work for the Crazy Man.  It was perfect timing to walk away when he moved to Chevy Chase, MD to live in a retirement community.  I do talk to him from time to time and enjoy his stories a lot more now on how he is driving others bonkers.  I've continued my 5:30am workouts 3x a week.  The camaraderie I have with this group of women who show up at 5:30am is very special.  They make it worth it to drag myself out of bed on those cold mornings.

Jeff's job continues to give him opportunities to shine on some of their most challenging projects.  He enjoys his work, comes home at a reasonable hour (most of the time) and is in a great mood.  There is little more you can ask out of a job.

One of the most surprising developments of 2018 is Jeff's desire to cook and bake.  Each week Jeff takes the time to research new and interesting recipes and cooks us dinner on Saturday night, complete with a dessert.  The kids and I are pleased to report that the vast majority of dishes he attempts are winners and yummy!  Jeff now makes homemade pasta!  Really.

Lucy is still a key member of Team Toppall.  She remains as sweet as ever and loves to cuddle with all of us.  She has her routine of when she will jump in bed with Jeff and me (somehow she knows when it is 4:30am!) and loves to put herself to bed each night in Ian's bed.  Sam's big thing is to snuggle with her on the couch.  Lucy loves us all very much and we can not get enough of her.  I am pretty sure if we could be guaranteed a dog as sweet and amazing as Lucy is, Jeff would be the ring leader in bringing home another rescue.


The year ahead in 2019:

I realized as I was writing this that I surround myself with amazing women.  From working out, to working at the preschool, to friends I have from the MOMs group I was in from way back, to friends from the preschool years, to friends I have in Orlando, and other friends I have met along the way, I am most fortunate. I feel so blessed to have these women in my life and look forward to my time I spend with them.  They make the dark days brighter and give me many reasons to smile.  I am fond of saying, it takes a village, and my village is full of the most awesome people ever.  I can't think of a single one who I wouldn't answer the phone for in the middle of night and go help them or know they would do the same for me.   As 2019 gets underway, I look forward to continuing to grow these friendships.

Ian and Sam are registered for their usual month-long stay at camp this Summer and I am hoping that Jeff and I are able to spend a week to go somewhere.  Fingers are crossed that we can make this work.

I am enjoying my time in the afternoons not having to do my 2nd part-time job that day.  Its amazing how much  the day feels less hectic not having to run around every single minute from job to job to activity to activity.  In 2019, I hope to build in more walks with Lucy during these afternoons, getting fresh air and giving us both a chance to stretch our legs.  There is no reason I should not be able to do this. I am hoping by writing this, I will be held accountable.

My new thing for Fridays (my free day from preschool) is to go the movies.  By myself!  Sometimes I get friends to join me, but if its not possible, I will go on my own during the late morning and before the kids get home from school. I am definitely keeping this up in 2019.  Going to the movies has to be one of my most favorite things to do.


My New Year's Wish:

I wish for all of us to be compassionate and less judgy.  Give someone a hug if it looks like they need it, lend an ear if someone needs to be talk.  I have found most people just want to be heard.  May 2019 bring us all happiness, many reasons to laugh, and good health.  Happy New Year!

It doesn't get much better than this.

Ian had such an insanely amazing day on Friday, October 19th that you couldn't help but smile being around him.  It was definitely one for the record books.

Ian's middle school is doing a production of "Rock of Ages".  Competition is fierce to not only get a role, but to perform in the play at all, even as a minor player.  There's auditions on acting, singing and if you manage to get a call back, dancing.  Approx. 225 students try out and only 50 or so get a part.

Just a side note:  Ian tried to get a part in last year's play, "Little Mermaid", but didn't make the cut.  He made lemonade out of lemons and volunteered to do lighting.  However, he quickly found out that lighting wasn't all it was cracked up to be.  And he still had 6 more shows to work after this realization.  :)

Ian worked hard on his audition and made it very known to us that he really wanted this part.  It's the part of Lonny, who is the narrator of the show.  Lonny is described as the guy who commands the audience and owns the stage.  He is friends with the best people and everyone wants to be friends with him.  Everyone loves him.  Ian's drama teacher said, we want this to be the most likeable character of the show.

Ian finally heard back on Friday afternoon the results.

How's that for an awesome result?   Top line billing!  OMG!   Ian came home and couldn't stop jumping up and down.  To see this level of excitement was contagious and soon, I was jumping up and down with him.   Way to go Ian!  He is going to make an awesome Lonny!

But wait, there's more!

The previous week Ian asked a girl out for the first time.  Ever. !!!!   His date was Friday evening, going to their school's high school football game.  He said the date went really well and he was excited to report that he held her hand -- in front of the whole school to see.  How's that for making an announcement to everyone that you are together?!?!  He also said she looked cold and he offered her his hoodie to put on.  She had a coat on and now Ian's hoodie too.  Ian is in 57 degree weather with just a short sleeve shirt.  He is silently thanking his parents that we made him put jeans on and not wear the shorts he was planning.    So Ian had everyone coming up to him (even high schoolers who he didn't even know) congratulating him on getting the part of Lonny (it's a really BIG deal!) and then seeing him with a girl he likes.   He couldn't have been happier than if we told him we were putting a go-kart track in our back yard.

First date ever!   And it landed on the same day as Ian getting the role in the play.  Talk about an awesome day.

I am so happy for Ian. He has come far from just one year ago at this time, he'd come home every day from school and announce that he was dying.  Every time he walked into another class he'd either get nauseas, his back would hurt, he'd have a headache and lots more other ailments.  His transition to middle school was a rough one. It was touch and go there for a while on if he was going to survive 7th grade. ;)  

With 8th grade, it appears Ian has found his groove.  He has a great group of friends and being a theatre nerd is not such a bad thing.   Between now and President's Day Weekend in February, Ian will be spending almost every day working on either his school play or the musical he is in with his AFYP (acting for young people) group.  I love that he has the confidence to do this and getting up in front a whole theatre full of people is not intimidating.

This girl he is interested in is a very lucky young lady.  I hear from those in the know (ok, Ian), that he will be getting date #2 in the works.  Now, I just need to figure out a way to meet her.

Writing.

So I haven't felt very inspired to write lately.  I've spent some time thinking about why and can only come up with the following theory - Writing to me was an avenue to process all the crazy stuff we had going on with the kids and generally living life.  Many days I felt like I was on a high-speed train and there was no getting off.  Every time I turned around, a new crazy situation was occurring or something that should've gone as planned, didn't.  I needed to get it all down on paper before it too quickly became a blur.

Writing was my way of moving on.  Documenting all these little moments and the big ones too so we'd have record of them to look back on when the kids got older.  I never want to forget some of the more outlandish experiences (flying with the kids when they were 2!, taking them to the zoo when they really didn't want to be there, Ian at the dentist, working for The Crazy Man), just like I don't want to forget our wonderful traditions (apple picking, ice cream on the first day of school).  And along the way, there were some very funny moments (accidentally dropping Ian in the trash can, Sam telling Ian that he needs to stop talking because she was going to pass out from his bad breath), the special days (Ian's Bar Mitzvah, my trip to England/Portugal, adopting Lucy) and hitting milestones (getting braces, learning to ride a bike) deserve their place too.

But lately, our life has become so much "easier' (for lack of a better term).  The kids have become very independent and can do so much on their own, without assistance from me and Jeff.  We can leave them alone at night and go on a proper date.  They can prepare simple meals for themselves, and showering is most definitely a solo activity not needing our assistance.  All of our potty training issues FINALLY became a thing of the past.  The kids have wonderful friends with very little drama that normally associates itself with adolescence.  Sam's behavior has vastly improved and she has become a fabulous little person to be around.  Life just feels more comfortable.  It's like this is how it's meant to be lived and I don't count the minutes until Jeff comes home at the end of the day to rescue me.

I still very much want to document the day to day - it's the best form of a diary I'll ever manage to keep, but I need to be inspired to write.  And I just haven't been until now. Something has happened very recently and my first thought was, wow, this day needs to be written about.  So I'm back at the computer and getting back in my groove.  Stay tuned...

Back to the daily grind

And just like that with a snap of the fingers we are back to school and all the craziness it involves.  We had a very eventful first day.  I received a text from Ian approx. 1 hour after school starts telling me that one of his springs in his braces broke.  The spring sprung is how I was referring to it.  I called the orthodontist and the best possible option to get it fixed was at 2:00pm later that day.  On Ian's very first day of 8th grade, he missed the last hour of school.  Ugh.  This so wasn't on our schedule.   We went from 0 to 60 in no time flat in going with the flow while being thrown a curve ball.

When Ian arrived at the orthodontist, it took 4 technicians all working on his mouth for a solid hour to figure out how to fix the problem so it wouldn't happen again.  You can imagine Ian's level of joy at having 4 sets of hands hovering over his mouth, all holding various dental instruments.

Samantha had a great first day of school and really likes her teacher.  This makes me really happy.  Because having to convince Sam to go to school in the mornings is not my idea of fun.  Due to enrollment over the Summer, Sam's school added a fifth 5th grade class. She got an awesome teacher with only 24 students in her class.  So fantastic!

We ended the day on a sweet note and continued our tradition of ice cream on the first day of school.  This year it was Samantha's choice on where we went and Dairy Queen it was.  Yum!

First day of 8th grade!!

First day of 5th grade!!!

So. Not. Happy.

Dairy Queen for the win!

Our countdown has already begun...just another 179 days of school left before summer vacation.