End of the Year Wrap Up: 2020 Edition

 This has truly been a year unlike any other.  I now think of life in terms of before March 13th and after March 13th.   Life came to a complete and sudden stop on March 13th.  Everything changed!  We were scared to go out, we were terrified we'd get sick with Caronavirus, we quickly found ways to adapt to eating at restaurants outside, picking up curbside delivery, and of course, wearing a mask wherever we go.   Toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies and many kinds of food were all hard to find for many, many months.  It was and is such an insane and surreal time for all of us.  School became distance learning and Jeff's office, as all of them in our area, shut down and moved the employees to working from home.  Everything was all about zoom meetings, virtual get togethers, and being isolated from social gatherings, birthday parties and travel.  The month of March seemed to go on forever.  April felt like it would never end.  It didn't matter that it was Spring Break as nothing could be done to take advantage of the time off from school.  Each day blurred into the next and it became a joke that no one knew what day it was anymore.  Camp got cancelled for the kids and it was a huge blow.  Our community pool opened and we were able to visit it once the county we are in went to Phase 3. 

Bedtimes went out the window!  Once there was no reason to get up for school, there was no real reason to tell the kids to go to bed at their reasonable usual time.  Ian was averaging 1 to 2am.  Ugh!  And Sam was not going to bed before 11:00pm easy.  Jeff and I routinely went to sleep before the kids each night.

During the Summer, we managed to make a week at OC,NJ with the Reber's a reality.  It was surreal being together and not having any of our parents or extended family join us.  We had a great week and loved that we could have this to break up our summer.   We also booked a segue tour in Philadelphia and went whitewater rafting in West Virginia.  We became more outdoorsy than we've ever been. 

I started my days taking 5 mile walks with Lucy.  It was the best!  The weather was exceptional and being outdoors came easy.  We got a hammock (gift from Mom-mom!) and spent many hours relaxing on it.  That hammock on our deck became like an extra room for us.  Much needed extra space and fresh air.  

I met friends in their driveways or on their deck for brunch or dinner.  It was the only safe way we could socialize. We got a firepit (another gift from Mom-mom!) and spent many, many evenings enjoying the fire place with friends.  

The kids and I started a new tradition and each Saturday or Sunday, we'd get popcorn from our local movie theatre and watch a different movie each weekend.  It was awesome and gave us something to look forward to.  Plus, I got to introduce the kids to more of my favorite movies. 

We managed to do some awesome updates to the house and finally got recessed lighting in our dining room, kitchen, living room and both the kids' bedrooms.  What an amazing difference that has made.  We also got a new dishwasher, refrigerator (hello French doors!), 2 new couches, all new dishes, and a new lawn mower.  What a surprise that we were able to make all this happen.  

And with all the extra time we had on our hands, Samantha repainted her bedroom and I repainted the master bedroom and the bathroom. I made over the master bedroom and redecorated with new bedding, lamps and curtains.  It looks amazing! The best was cleaning out the shed and emptying no less than 20 huge storage bins.  The shed looks amazing and is so organized.  I also undertook a huge photo organization project and made a phenomenal system to store photos from the past 50 years.  And I cleaned out my closet & drawers and got it super organized.

Lucy loved us being home 24/7 and it soon became all she knew.  We had never been home like this before.  And in the same vein, Lucy became an emotional support therapy dog for real.  Jeff and Samantha leaned heavily on her for comfort during some of the more trying times of being stuck at home while doing work and school. 

In some ways the pandemic gave us so much (better finances - we couldn't do anything else to spend money on. Ha!), much time spent with the four of us together and, a slowed down pace of life that really let us appreciate everything we had to be thankful for.  I had the unique opportunity to go down to Orlando and be there for my sister and her family for the birth of Alexis.  Originally, it was not planned that I'd be down there, but Lori really needed the help with the 2 girls so that Ben could be with Lori for the birth and stay at the hospital.  Additionally, Samantha and Ian each were able to take a trip and spend time at Lori's house during the beginning part of the pandemic.  Since school was virtual, they could do it online in Orlando and not miss any of their classes.  Ian used his extra downtime and wrote, wrote and wrote some more all these awesome tv shows and movies.  He has ideas that just don't stop coming.  He wrote a full series about Jewish Sleepaway Camp Mockumentary and entered in many different screenwriting contests.  And Ian worked on his stand-up routine and got to perform for a high school theatre teachers in the backyard of one teacher's house in June.  It was pretty awesome and a good experience for him.  

The other thing quarantining gave us was the opportunity to binge watch so much tv!  It was insane the amount of shows I could plow through. 

The pandemic also took a lot away from us as well - spending holidays with either Jeff's family or mine, trips down to Florida to visit the extended family, kids getting to go to sleepaway camp (Ian was going to attend for the whole summer), and many opportunities for socialization with friends and the kids getting to experience school in person. Additionally, all chances for Ian to perform in school plays was cancelled.  He was one of only 2 freshman to get a part in "Chicago" !   Unfortunately, this play never made it even to rehearsals. And one of the bigger disappointments was Samantha not getting to do all the traditional 6th grade promotion ceremony stuff at the end of the school year.  School ending very suddenly in mid-March was hard to swallow when you realized there would be no graduation ceremony or end of the year party.

Ian got his driver's permit in December and has been racking up hours behind the wheel at a crazy pace.  He drove a combined 5 1/2 hours on our drive to and from Vermont.  And did 3 hours while in Vermont.  Ian is doing great, but could really use help with parking.

I know we will all be too happy to see 2020 to end and hope for a better year in 2021.  With the vaccine now widely becoming available, it looks like we will be able to get back some much needed normalcy.  

Travel this year:

January:  Ian traveled to NYC with Dagan to visit a camp friend for 4 days

January:  Robyn and Sam travel to NYC for the day with Susanne and her girls

February:  Robyn and Sam travel to Orlando for 5 days 

April:  Robyn in Orlando for 8 days

April / May:  Ian in Orlando for 13 days

May:  Robyn and Sam in Orlando for 5 days

July:  Week at the beach, OC, NJ

September: Jeff and Robyn in Chincoteague for 1 night

December:  Vermont with the family for 5 nights

This past year I discovered both kids struggling with distance learning for entirely different reasons.  Samantha had a hard time focusing with her ADHD (inattentive type) and either found the teachers going too fast and couldn't keep up, or moving too slow and getting extremely bored.  It also was a big disadvantage to starting a new school and have never met her teachers or even took a tour of the school to see where her classes would be.  Everything, including the ramping up program, was all done virtually.  Samantha hardly knew anyone in her classes and had to figure out how to adapt to a virtual environment.

While Ian had a hard time with distance learning because he is so social and loves being around his friends and actually attending school.  So much of what he loves involves showing up and participating - musical theatre, improv, play rehearsal, dance classes.  It was very hard for him to adapt to being 100% virtual.  

Once it was figured out how to proceed safely, Ian was able to do dance classes in person.  He takes 6 classes a week! and absolutely loves them.  Ian also continues with his voice lessons and does this 2 times each week.  His singing has improved so much.  It's really awesome to listen to him sing.  He is in his last year of religious school and attends this virtually.   Samantha does do horseback riding in person and this has proven to be a much needed activity to get her out of the house.  Her Sunday religious school is in person, but the Tuesday class meets online.  

Ian also got himself a job and will be portraying Spiderman at children's birthday parties.  He contacted the company all on his own and went after this opportunity.  And with a few buddies from school, Ian started a podcast.  A new episode comes out each Friday.  It's actually pretty funny and sounds very professional! 

I am a firm believer that this pandemic will either bring your closer together or accelerate any problems you are having.  There is no way you can come out of this the same as when you started.  All this time together with the same person is a huge social experiment in getting along.  There is no opportunity to leave to go to work, or take a business trip, or have a girl's weekend or anything else that would bring a natural separation.  And with no end in sight, month after month after month, it really does wear on your psyche and make you emotionally burned out.  Even the most optimistic person will become depressed at the state of things.  So many people lost so much, so many businesses will never recover, Broadway will be shut down for more than a year, travel became almost non-existent.  At the time I am writing this, over 300,000 people in the US lost their lives to COVID-19.  It is truly astonishing and tragic how much has happened since that first day in March when it all came to a dead stop.  

I feel so blessed that Jeff and I managed to keep it together and become closer through all of this.  Our house is on the small side, so time together was our only option.  The kids had their moments of trying to adjust, but did well and somehow we managed to thrive under these quarantine conditions.  We were fortunate to have our jobs and be financially secure.  We made many donations to our local food banks and did our best to keep the smaller restaurants around us in business by doing take out many times over the past several months.  The best feeling for us was when restaurants opened again at the end of May, and we'd eat outside on their patios to give them business and leave huge tips for the waitstaff as a way to help them for being out of work for many months and not having a lot of people showing up to eat out. Or leaving big tips when ordering take-out.  And when Ian was finally able to get a haircut again, I paid his favorite barber for the 3 haircuts he missed by not being able to go because they were forced to shut down.

The Year Ahead in 2021:

Ha!  I can say all I want about 2021, but who knew 2020 was going to turn out like it did?  My biggest wish is for a vaccine and that everyone I care about and love gets vaccinated.  This is the year of Samantha's Bat Mitzvah and I desperately want everyone to be able to travel and make it for this wonderful milestone.  Additionally, my dad turns 75 this year and I want us to be able to go down to Orlando and celebrate with the family. I want to hug everyone and not let go!  Or worry, one of us is sick and infecting the other.   And lastly, I so very much want Ian and Sam to attend camp.  This will be the last year that Ian is able to go and it is so important that he gets this time with his camp friends and has one last year to make memories.  

I plan to keep up the walking and get back to the awesome groove I was in doing 5 miles each day.  Somehow I stopped and really miss the amazing benefits walking gives me.

My New Year's Wish:  

I wish for our newly elected President to unite this country back together.  For all of us to realize we are on the same side and love is much better than hate.  I hope we all find many reasons to smile and enjoy the little things.  May 2021 make all our wishes come true.  Happy New Year!

End of the Year Wrap Up: 2019 Edition

Oy!  I am not sure this blog is going to continue much longer or even past this End of the Year Wrap up.  Over the past several months, I'll have the idea to write about this or that, something or other the kids are going thru.  But before I know it, it has become a fleeting thought and my attention has been diverted to something else.

This blog was key to me surviving my kids' early years.  Motherhood is not for the faint of heart and mostly being a stay-at-home mom pushed me to the brink of insanity some days.  Having this medium as an outlet was therapeutic.  I was able to let it all out, move on and start with a clean slate the very next day, or sometimes the very next hour.  I believe journaling the good, the bad, and the ugly is how I survived and didn't run away.  Don't get me wrong, not every day was rough, but there were definitely some trying times. Let's be honest, these years become a blur and having it all written gives me a opportunity to see how far we've come and remember the fun, silly days, as well as the challenging ones.  Each phase comes and goes for good and bad; it's nice to go back and relive it from a distance, through my words.

Ian and Samantha have grown into these awesome people.  I am so proud of them!  And I love them more than I ever thought humanly possible. I get how parents can be helicopter parents or my new favorite term, lawn mower parenting (parents who try to remove and smooth obstacles).  I will do anything to keep Ian and Samantha from feeling defeated or have their feelings hurt.  I want so much for them to never know how cruel life can be or how mean-spirited people can get. Every day should be their best ever!  Have all these amazing experiences and go through life with rose colored glasses.  I fully realize how unrealistic this is and my job as a parent is to make sure they are prepared and can handle disappointment and failure.

There was a time, I'd go to bed at night, review my day in my head, and feel like the worst mother in the world.  Somewhere over the years, that mentality has shifted and I think this parenting gig is working out.  All the time invested, energy given, and hand holding has been worth it.  I find myself turning to writing this blog to vent and 'get it all out' less and less over the months.  Ian and Samantha are truly what I hoped and dreamed of when becoming a mother.  Their judgement is solid, they are empathetic, courageous, and go after what they want.  They are polite, conscientious, and very witty.  I love their sense of humor.  I no longer view time off from school as our 'dark period'.  I actually really enjoy planning activities the 3 of us will enjoy doing and getting to live these experiences through their eyes. They are always up for an adventure and will try anything once.  Can you ask for anything more?  I think not.

As I look back at 2019, I am content. Wow, what a great word to summarize how I feel.  Sure, there are so many things we need -- updates and renovations to the house, money to travel, money to put towards college savings, a new Acura MDX would be nice (Ha!), but none of that is a necessity.  Everything we truly need we have and then some.  We are in good health, have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and our kids are happy, caring, independent little people.  I have a blessed life and recognize how fortunate we are.


Travel this year:

January:  Robyn and Samantha in Orlando for 4 days
March:  Ian attends Ramah reunion in Palmer, Mass for 3 days
April:  Ian visits Max in PA for 4 days
April:  Spring Break in NYC for 3 days
June:  Robyn and Ian - theatre trip to NYC for 2 days
June:  Robyn in Orlando for 3 days
July:  Ian and Samantha in Orlando for 11 days
July:  Week at the beach, OC, NJ
July-August: Ian and Samantha at Camp Ramah for 4 weeks
July:  Robyn in MA and RI for 2 days
November:  Week in Orlando for Thanksgiving
December:  Weekend in NJ for family Hanukkah party
December:  Ian in NYC for 4 days


The biggest change in this past year has been Ian's activities.  He now takes anywhere from 4.5 hours to 6 hours of dance classes each week.  Boys Ballet, Broadway Tap, Musical Theatre, Partnering Ballet, or drop-in tap class keeps him (and us driving him) going back and forth multiple times a week to dance.  He has realized how important it is to know how to dance if he wants to make it in theatre.  It's fun to see him master a new step that has been giving him difficulty and then doing that step all the time at home. Or, when he gets in the car after picking him up and he chatters on non-stop about how well he just did.   Add the two plays Ian was performing in and it made for a very busy Fall.  Ian absolutely adores camp and wants to go for the whole summer. Oh my!  I can't even imagine him being gone for 8 weeks.  We have him registered and will try to make this a reality.  But oy, is it expensive!

Ian has taken the concept of going after what he wants to heart.  He wanted to do stand-up and found a way to make it happen at a local restaurant/bar.  He did a great job and plans to expand his routine and keep at it, performing at local places.  He has been writing scripts for short films and is circulating it around for feedback.  I read this latest one and I have to say, it's pretty darn good.  I love how focused Ian has become on his goals and has a plan to make it happen.  Ian ultimately wants to be hired to be on Saturday Night Live, and said to me the other day, "I hope I don't get too well known before getting to NY because you have to be an unknown to do SNL."   Um yeah, somehow I don't think this should be a concern.  Really, would getting discovered earlier than expected be a bad thing?  Ian needs to worry about other things.

Oh and there is that little matter of Ian auditioning for a short film and getting the part.  Last June Ian played Elliot, a blind, gay, Jewish middle schooler.  The short film will finish production by the end of December and be entered in film festivals around the country.  This was a very surreal experience and still a bit in awe of how it all came to be.  Ian's first paid acting gig!

Samantha is doing so much better at school. Her teacher for 6th grade is a dream come true and it makes going to school that much easier.  We've enlisted the help of a reading specialist and the progress Sam has made is fantastic.  She still enjoys horseback riding the most and is happy to do just this one activity.  Samantha loves camp and will go for 1 session this Summer.  She has yet to discover wanting to wear name brand clothing, or spend hours doing her hair.  I am just waiting for that to happen next year at middle school.   Sam is very happy wearing the same 4 purple t-shirts and black leggings.  She has a closet full of clothes and they just hang there, looking unloved.

Jeff's cooking and baking has soared to new heights.  He now has a kitchen aid mixer, a micro plane,  and other baking/cooking tools he felt necessary to help him achieve greatness. Jeff has a running list of baked goods he wants to make.  He most recently made blueberry and lemon scones with fresh clotted cream.  It's been fun to see him enjoy his new hobby.

I am still really enjoying my job at the preschool and this year added in Fridays too.  I am now there 5 days a week, for 3 hours a day.  As great as it is and as much as I enjoy it, I think its time to find a full-time job, starting in June.  Samantha will be out of elementary school and will be attending the same school as Ian.  Her hours for school starting will be much earlier and I'll be able to get to an office at a reasonable time. I have no idea what I want to do, but am keeping an open mind and going for it.  It's a little overwhelming to me the changes that will be occurring in our household, but I feel this is a necessary step. I am hoping that by starting in the summer, I will have a chance to get used to our new normal and by the time school starts, it won't be as hard of a transition.


The year ahead in 2020:

As we head in to 2020, here is something I NEVER thought I would write.  I am currently happy with my weight and the progress I have made towards losing.  For the first time in several years (too many to count), I've got a new attitude towards eating and feel this sense of control I didn't know I was capable of.  I am constantly faced with temptations, but after one bite, I am satisfied.  Or, maybe I don't even want that one bite. Wow, right?  Since October 1st, I've lost 21 pounds and I am finally seeing a difference now.  This is the best feeling. I wake up in the morning not scared to get on the scale, knowing I've done the best I could do the day before.  Maybe the number doesn't always go down, and shoots way up from time to time, but overall it is trending in the right direction.  I am following the weight watchers plan and know that I can incorporate this well into the future.  Don't get me wrong, I am far from perfect, but my head is in the game and its been a long time since I can say that.  Here is where the word "content" comes in to play once again.  :)

I want to find a full-time job that still gives me flexibility, so if I need a day off or a few extra hours to be with the kids, I can.  I am not sure what kind of job this will be, but that is my goal. Something with the hours 8:30am to 4:30pm, 10 minutes from my house would be awesome!  Maybe if I close my eyes real tight and wish & wish with all my might, it could happen.

I am so excited for Samantha to be graduating elementary school this year.  She now has braces on her teeth and looks like a real teenager.  Her growth this past year has been measurable.  She is tall, confident, and so lovely.  And I think she is finally appreciating me and all I do; at least I hope so.  :)

I'm head over heels in love with Jeff and how we operate as a team.  He has my back and I have his.  I never feel like I am in this parenting thing alone and appreciate all the support he continually gives. I've said it before and I'll say it again.  You can fall in love with the guy, but you won't know how he'll turn out to be a father until you are way thick in the weeds.  And that's where we are...deep in the weeds.  Jeff is the most amazing father.  One of his best qualities is that when he leaves the office, work gets left behind and he is 100% present being with the family.  I am not sure what this has to do with "The year ahead in 2020" but I do know we both appreciate how far our kids have come and what an honor it is to be their parents.  So maybe 2020 is that parenting is getting to be more rewarding after all the that we've been through to get to this point.


My New Year's Wish:

I wish for kindness.  Kindness to our selves, kindness to friends and family, and kindness to strangers.  If everyone made an effort to be kind, instead of being mean, full of judgement, selfish, or uncompassionate, think how much better the world would be.  We are all more alike than different.  May 2020 give us endless energy, better sleep, and the ability to make the better choice.  Happy New Year!

End of the Year Wrap Up: 2018 Edition

I am totally amusing myself with today's blog.  I haven't written consistently in a very long time.  So sporadic through 2018 and I'm a bit embarrassed that this will only be my 32nd post this year.  In my heyday, I never missed my pattern of every other day and easily wrote upwards of 130 to 160 posts a year.  I can't start something and not see it thru.  And my end of the year wrap up post follows a very consistent formula on how I like to end the year. Even when I don't feel like writing and am not inspired, I still need to do my ending post.  I find it very fascinating what I obsess over and what I could care less about.

This past year was a huge one for us.  Ian reached the milestone in the Jewish religion that every kid and their parents stress over and get anxious and excited about all at the same time. Ian became a Bar Mitzvah in May.  He did an amazing job and made Jeff and I very proud.  If I have to give one highlight to 2018, this undoubtedly is it.

I am constantly in awe that I am a mother to a 10 year old and a 13 year old.  There is so much more they can do for themselves.  One of the better milestones we get to experience is that a babysitter is no longer needed; even when we go out at night.  It's not like Jeff and I are always on a date night -- far from it -- but the few times we did have evening plans that did not include the kids, we were comfortable to leave them home alone.  Given that we do not have family close by to babysit, hiring a babysitter gets very costly.

Another year has flown by and I hope I've done a better job of keeping up with the hustle and bustle of our lives.  Ian pretty much handles his social life now and I just check in with the various parents to make sure they are aware of what the boys are planning.  I never thought I'd be "that" parent who questions and monitors everything, but somehow I've become her.  It's true what they say, you shouldn't be your kid's best friend; you need to be a parent first and foremost.


Travel this year:

March:  Weekend in Pennsylvania for Alexa and Lia's B'nei Mitzvah
March: Niagara Falls (Canada side) and Pittsburgh for 5 days
April:  Susanne and I took the boys to NY for the day for Sam's Bar Mitzvah party
May:   Robyn in Orlando for 4 days for Meghan's graduation from College
June:   Pennsylvania for the day for Uncle Bernard's party
June -July:   Ian and Sam in Orlando for 15 days
July:  Jeff and Robyn overnight in Pennsylvania for Chelsea's party.
July- August:  Both kids at Camp Ramah for 27 days
August:   Robyn in MA and VT for 2 days
September:  Ian in Nofolk for the weekend for Elijah's Bar Mitzvah
September:  Robyn in Orlando for 5 days
November:  Ian and Robyn in Pennsylvania and NYC for the weekend for Jonah's Bar Mitzvah
November:  Week in Myrtle Beach for Thanksgiving

I always think that we do very little traveling and while it's true we are gone hardly ever for more than 2 or 3 days at a time, and rarely as a family, we do manage to get out of town if all it requires is a road trip.  Most of our reasons for getting anywhere in 2018 involved an invitation of some sort and us accepting.

One of our most favorite trips was to Niagara Falls.  We went during the kids' spring break and unfortunately some of the stuff we would do wasn't operating yet for the season, but it mattered very little as we had a great time.   Looking at the Falls never gets old.

This year I spent only 1 day in NYC and saw two shows:  Summer (based on Donna Summer's life) and The Other Josh Cohen.  Both were very enjoyable and it made for a very fun and long day in the Big Apple.  

We also did not make it to the beach this past Summer.  It was just too much on top of the Bar Mitzvah and something had to give.  So far its looking promising that we will be able to return to OC, NJ with my cousin and her family this Summer.

Ian began his 2nd year of middle school with no struggles and instantly found himself asking a girl out on a date and getting cast the staring role of the school play, "Rock of Ages".  What an exciting time for him. The relationship with the girl never went beyond the first date, but he can now say he's done it and it did go well.  However, they decided it would be better to be friends.

Samantha is having a much better time with her studies in 5th grade.  The right teacher is everything!  Samantha's teacher this year is new to the school and has been fantastic working with Samantha.  We do plan to schedule testing with a reading specialist to see if Samantha has something specific that can be diagnosed rather than waiting for her to fall below grade level before the school system will intervene.  Horseback riding is still at the top of Sam's list of activities she enjoys.  In a most wonderful turn of events, Sam decided to register with Ian's drama group through George Mason University and also do acting.  If you ask me, this is where Sam is truly going to shine.  The girl can be so dramatic and just needs the right vehicle to let it go free.

I have to say, I am most looking forward to the time I will have with Jeff from 1:30pm to 5:00pm every Saturday from February to June while the kids are at their drama program together.  He has plans for us to go grocery shopping or to Costco or wash/vacuum the cars, or clean the house.  While I have plans for us to have a late lunch, or early dinner or go to a movie if the timing works out.  Ha!  Maybe we can compromise and take turns checking off items on each of our lists.

My job at the preschool is still going great.  The women I work with are truly wonderful and so much fun to be around.  And in the best update I have from the beginning of 2018, I am most pleased to write that I no longer work for the Crazy Man.  It was perfect timing to walk away when he moved to Chevy Chase, MD to live in a retirement community.  I do talk to him from time to time and enjoy his stories a lot more now on how he is driving others bonkers.  I've continued my 5:30am workouts 3x a week.  The camaraderie I have with this group of women who show up at 5:30am is very special.  They make it worth it to drag myself out of bed on those cold mornings.

Jeff's job continues to give him opportunities to shine on some of their most challenging projects.  He enjoys his work, comes home at a reasonable hour (most of the time) and is in a great mood.  There is little more you can ask out of a job.

One of the most surprising developments of 2018 is Jeff's desire to cook and bake.  Each week Jeff takes the time to research new and interesting recipes and cooks us dinner on Saturday night, complete with a dessert.  The kids and I are pleased to report that the vast majority of dishes he attempts are winners and yummy!  Jeff now makes homemade pasta!  Really.

Lucy is still a key member of Team Toppall.  She remains as sweet as ever and loves to cuddle with all of us.  She has her routine of when she will jump in bed with Jeff and me (somehow she knows when it is 4:30am!) and loves to put herself to bed each night in Ian's bed.  Sam's big thing is to snuggle with her on the couch.  Lucy loves us all very much and we can not get enough of her.  I am pretty sure if we could be guaranteed a dog as sweet and amazing as Lucy is, Jeff would be the ring leader in bringing home another rescue.


The year ahead in 2019:

I realized as I was writing this that I surround myself with amazing women.  From working out, to working at the preschool, to friends I have from the MOMs group I was in from way back, to friends from the preschool years, to friends I have in Orlando, and other friends I have met along the way, I am most fortunate. I feel so blessed to have these women in my life and look forward to my time I spend with them.  They make the dark days brighter and give me many reasons to smile.  I am fond of saying, it takes a village, and my village is full of the most awesome people ever.  I can't think of a single one who I wouldn't answer the phone for in the middle of night and go help them or know they would do the same for me.   As 2019 gets underway, I look forward to continuing to grow these friendships.

Ian and Sam are registered for their usual month-long stay at camp this Summer and I am hoping that Jeff and I are able to spend a week to go somewhere.  Fingers are crossed that we can make this work.

I am enjoying my time in the afternoons not having to do my 2nd part-time job that day.  Its amazing how much  the day feels less hectic not having to run around every single minute from job to job to activity to activity.  In 2019, I hope to build in more walks with Lucy during these afternoons, getting fresh air and giving us both a chance to stretch our legs.  There is no reason I should not be able to do this. I am hoping by writing this, I will be held accountable.

My new thing for Fridays (my free day from preschool) is to go the movies.  By myself!  Sometimes I get friends to join me, but if its not possible, I will go on my own during the late morning and before the kids get home from school. I am definitely keeping this up in 2019.  Going to the movies has to be one of my most favorite things to do.


My New Year's Wish:

I wish for all of us to be compassionate and less judgy.  Give someone a hug if it looks like they need it, lend an ear if someone needs to be talk.  I have found most people just want to be heard.  May 2019 bring us all happiness, many reasons to laugh, and good health.  Happy New Year!

End of the Year Wrap-up: 2017 Edition

I find myself getting more nostalgic as the years go by.  Maybe its because I recently spent more than a few hours putting together a slide show for Ian's Bar Mitzvah and it gave me the opportunity to pour over thousands of photos.  It's really hard for me to remember the kids at 2 years, 5 years, 6 years of age, even sometimes just last year. I mean, I know I lived it and was here for every single second right next to their side, but it all quickly becomes a blur as one season melts into another. 

Each new stage we enter seems like the best one to be in.  The kids can now stay home on their own.  They can get themselves breakfast, pack lunch for school, put away their laundry and many more milestones.  Sometimes Jeff and I are around just to handle logistics and get them from one activity to the next.  One of the coolest things is to have conversations with them and hear their ideas and what they are thinking.  Seeing life through our kids' eyes is a beautiful thing.   

And so we find ourselves, whether we are ready or not, to say good-bye to 2017 and hello to 2018.  When I was a little girl, the year 2018 seemed so, so far away.  And now, it's just a few hours away.  Again, I'm getting nostalgic for a time when life seemed so much simpler and our children's issues were much easier to deal with.  (Caveat:  Samantha's pooping problems was never easy and caused much angst for years.) 

Travel this year:

February:  Ian spent a weekend at Capital Camps

April:  Kids with Jeff's parents for 2.5 days.

April:  Virginia Beach for 2 days

April:  Orlando for 4 days (Samantha and me)

May:  Ian in Orlando for 4 days

June:  Jeff in England and France for 9 days

June:  New York City for 3 days

July:  Kids go to Orlando for 12 days (Jeff is there for 4 days, Robyn is there for 7 days)

July:  Ocean City, NJ week at the beach

July - August:  Both kids at Camp Ramah for 27 days

August:  Jeff and Robyn in NYC for 2 days

November:  Week in Orlando for Thanksgiving

December: New York City for 2 days (me and the kids with Susanne, Anna and their 6 kids)

December:  Pennsylvania for 4 days (me and Samantha for 2 days, Ian the whole time)

Two things stand out looking at this list:  1.  I didn't take one trip by myself in all of 2017.  And, 2. There was no girl's weekend.  None, Zip, Zilch.   What's up with that???

With that said, I was so pleased that Jeff went to Europe.  He very rarely does anything for himself.  And this trip was for purely social reasons.  He had a great time and it was good for him to go. So if someone was able to get a girl's weekend in, I am glad it was him.  :)

I am also so incredibly delighted we managed 3 (yes 3!!) trips to NYC this year. It is truly a favorite city of mine and the kids; maybe even Jeff's too as he more than "tolerates" it and seems to enjoy himself.  Or, maybe he is just happy seeing me and the kids enjoy it so much.  Either way, each trip is very memorable and unique in its own way.   A true highlight this year was making "Hamilton" happen.  The love of theatre is a spark that is growing in both kids.  I couldn't be prouder.  Singing show tunes with the kids in the car always puts a smile on my face.  Getting to see the performance come alive on stage is priceless.  Ian and I saw "Chicago" and "In the Heights" this year. As a family we saw "Hamilton" and "Kinky Boots".  The kids and I saw "School of Rock".  Jeff and I saw "On Your Feet", "Avenue Q",  "The Great Comet"and "The Book of Mormon".  Lastly, I saw "Mean Girls" with friends.  All this year.  I'd say that's a pretty darn good year seeing musicals. 

And, the icing on the cake is making the week at the beach happen again this past Summer.  It is a truly wonderful memory we make with the kids and our extended family.  There is nothing like it.  It's good, old fashioned fun, where we slow down the clock and simply enjoy being at the ocean and all that it involves.  

Ian has finally found his groove at Middle School.  It was a bigger transition than any of us expected.  He has a great group of friends (all good kids..I've made certain) and I am not so worried about him as much anymore with regards to school.  Ian stays on top of his assignments and needs very little hand holding getting his homework done.  Additionally, he is studying incredibly hard for his Bar Mitzvah (it's in MAY!!), and I know he will do his father and I very proud.  I am delighted with how serious he takes his work.  Drama is his extracurricular activity of choice.  It's always so much fun seeing him on stage and having a blast acting.

Samantha is being very challenged in the 4th grade. Jeff and I spend most of time worrying for her and how hard school is, not to mention how much she hates doing homework.  We've got the school making accommodations (paper tests/ not computerized, strategic seating, having a text book at home, and tutoring 2x a week), but its a constant amount of energy expended making sure Samantha is understanding everything and nothing slips through the cracks.  The best news is that I don't have to convince the world that 6x7 is 56.  We can all continue knowing it is 42.  For a few days there I thought it would be easier to get the whole world on board with 6x7 = 56 than Samantha believing 6x7 =42.  Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief, we are good.   Sam's extracurricular activity of choice is horseback riding.  She really loves it and I love watching her enjoy something that doesn't make any demands to learn, memorize or read something.  There is a very sweet side of Samantha that I absolutely love and adore. Each morning I wake-up and say a little prayer this sweet Samantha will be the one that wakes-up too.  My prediction about Samantha's future?:  She will run a big company and be very successful at it.  Her fierce personality will do her justice later in life.  In a bit of surprising news, the other day Samantha dropped in conversation something about her college dorm room.  Jeff and I looked at each other and all I could say was, "You know what I got out of that sentence?  That Samantha sees herself in college."  That was literally the first time ever Sam spoke of her future and have it include another 4 years getting a degree.  Obviously Jeff and I were both delighted.

Jeff had a great year at work and continues to enjoy his job.  He is always quick to help me when I've scheduled myself in 2 or 3 places at the same time.  I really appreciate that more than anything.  

Lucy has been with us for more than a year now!  It feels like she has always been in our family.  All of us (including Jeff) have their special thing with Lucy.   Lucy sleeps with Ian in his bed every night.  She comes into my bed at 5:00am most mornings to snuggle with me before I have to get up for my day.  She helps wake-up Sam each morning before school.  And she loves to lay next to Jeff at the end of the day and rest her head on his leg.  Lucy is incredibly sweet.  Other than being dog aggressive to dogs on leashes, she is perfect!

Last but not least, me.  Another year of being on the go.  Although I will say, I haven't scheduled us as much as I used to.  I did an awesome job continuing to exercise at 5:30am and love the group of women I get to work out with.  Another thing I am happy about was taking the time to schedule lunch with my girlfriends throughout the year.  I didn't let 'life' get in the way.  Spending time with my friends is like chicken soup for the soul.   I am still dealing with weight issues...I lose, I gain, I lose, I gain, I lose some more.  It is what it is and I am no longer trying to analyze it.   I am back on my losing streak...hello!  I have Bar Mitzvah pictures to be in in 132 days and I'll be damned if I have 2 chins doing it.

Also, this was the year that I binged watch many awesome shows.  Wow!  There is some really amazing original programs being created by Netflix and Amazon.  Most of it is much better than what's on regular tv.  Although, I will always have a place in my heart for "General Hospital" and "This Is Us".

Somehow I also found time to read.  Since April 1st, I've read 25 books.  I am most impressed with this number. 20 books since July!   I think its been years since I read this much in such a short amount of time.  Definitely before having kids.

The Year ahead in 2018:

I can't even think beyond Ian's Bar Mitzvah.  The very idea that he is going to be 13 and be a Bar Mitzvah is mind blowing to me.   I have very little else on the horizon and very much look forward to this one event more than anything else this coming year.

But if I had to take a moment and outline some other things I am looking forward to:  My sister Meghan is graduating college!!  This is huge and something we've been waiting for quite a long time.  She is actually graduating a week before Ian's Bar Mitzvah, so the month of May is very important for our family. 

We have both kids registered for a month of camp this Summer.  Yay!  I am not sure if our week at the beach will happen again this Summer.  Money is quite tight and I've had to make some compromises. It would take a lot for Jeff to be ok with us booking a house, but stranger things have happened in the past, so we will see.  I never count anything out until the very end.

A New Year's Resolution I have is to say "No".  No to shopping, no to eating out, no to being on Amazon, no to going on spontaneous trips, no to planning vacations or weekend getaways, no to multiple trips to Orlando (other than Meghan's graduation of course!).  Just no.  I feel like if I put it out there in the universe, it could actually happen or come as close as I'll ever get.

I'm also going to try hard to keep my mouth shut more.  Most of the time I feel like I talk way too much and half of it is probably not even necessary.  I hate walking away from a conversation feeling like a dork because of something I said. No more!  I'm going to stay quiet.  :)

And, last but not least, I am on a major clean-out of my email inbox.  I am saying buh-bye to a countless number of opted-in email newsletters/discounts/promotions/whatever from everyone under the sun (from The Washington Post to Tires.com to Hanes.com to Specialious.com and many, many more).  I must instantly delete up to 90 spam emails a day without even looking at them.  No more.  I am opting out of EVERYTHING!


My New Year's Wish:

I always tell Ian as he heads out the door, "Make good choices."   I think this is wise for all of us.  Let's make good choices and be kind.  Kinder than necessary and make someone's day doing random acts of kindness.  It is truly a great feeling to know you've brightened their day.  You just never know what that person may be going through and the effect a kind gesture can have.  Happy New Year!  

End of the Year Wrap-up: 2016 Edition

I blink and the year is over.  Most days are a blur of activity.  I love how much we get to do and experience; it's a great life and I feel blessed at how much we have. I'm not referring to material stuff, but to the family that has been created through birth, marriage, and friendship.  We are very rich in love, support, and strength.  "All you need is love AND a dog."  :)

I truly believe we make the most of our days and our time together.  It's fun to experience life through our kids' eyes.  This was more evident than ever when we went to Massachusetts in July.  I am still smiling at the memories of our trip and quite proud of how everyone in Team Toppall had an open mind and was willing to try some pretty wonderful activities for the first time.

Travel this year:

March: Ocean City, MD for 3 days (the kids & me with friends).
May: England and Portugal for 10 days*
June:  Orlando for a long weekend (Robyn & Ian)
June: Kids with Jeff's parents for 3 days
July:  Massachusetts extravaganza for 10 days
July:  Kids in Orlando for 16 days, I was there for 6 of them.
August:  Ocean City, NJ for a week at the beach
August:  Samantha at sleepaway camp in Palmer, MA for 12 nights
October: Gatlinburg, TN 5 days
November:  Girls weekend in Berkeley Springs, WVA*
December:  Orlando for 1 week (the kids & me)

*Represents trips taken solo


Can I just say "WOW!" ?   This was the year we finally made expanding our family with a 4-legged member into a reality.  Yay!   Three months ago we welcomed Lucy, a 2 year old lab mix, into our lives.  I am not sure who rescued who.  She is amazing and sweet and so lovable.  All she wants to do is cuddle and curl up next to you.  We are so fortunate to have found her.  Lucy brightens our day!  I still look at her from time and time and can't believe she is ours.  One of my favorite things to do is take Lucy with me in the car.  I spend so much time going back and forth taking the kids to their activities; its nice to have the company.
 
Ian has impressed me big-time this year.   He started taking drama through a local organization.  It takes up a huge amount of his free time on the weekends (9:00am to 1:00pm on Saturdays) and he doesn't mind in the least.  He enjoys it; really, really enjoys it.  It's so cool to see Ian get excited over something.  This Fall they did a production of "Singing in the Rain, Jr." and he had a blast.    Ian also got into running and ran his first 5k (3.1 miles).  He wants to continue with track in the Spring too.  I am so happy we finally stopped talking about tackle football.

Samantha started a new activity to do each week and now takes horse back riding lessons.  It is a great outlet for her and one she is truly enjoying.  I love seeing the self-confidence she has being on top of these horses.  And Sam also started running in the Fall, complete with a 5k race.  Wowee!  Another winner for her and one she wants to continue in the Spring.

I feel we've made headway with Sam and her getting ready for school in the mornings.  Each year, we make progress.  Not huge leaps and bounds, but baby steps.   Through recent psychological testing with her therapist, we've learned a lot about how Sam's mind works.  It's been like a light has turned on and we've been able to amend how we do some stuff.  We are setting ourselves and Sam up for success.  The next step is to go to Sam's school and have her teacher implement some adjustments.   School is going exceedingly well for Sam right now, but we fear that in the next few years it will become a struggle to stay focused.

I made the impossible happen by taking the trip to England and Portugal with my friends in May.  I still can't believe I pulled that off.  The time away was magical and I seriously didn't stop laughing for 10 days straight.  Being with your best girlfriends and getting to escape the day-to-day routine, traveling to far away lands, is something I feel that should be required at least once (if not a few times) in your life.  I still pinch myself that I experienced this.

My weight is ALWAYS going to be a struggle.  I've come to terms with this.  I do the best I can do and not beat myself up over a bad day, or two, or three.  I've done great consistently working out and feel good.  It's what I eat that needs to always be monitored.  It's too easy to fall into bad habits and it becomes a downward slippery slope very easily.

I've been trying to find a better balance and volunteer more.  I'm now part of a Jewish group called "Mitzvah Mavens".  I am enjoying this very much and the work we are doing is bringing the community together, while doing good.  It feels very fulfilling to be a part of this group. 

Jeff is still very much enjoying his job.  It's a great company to work for.  That's all I can say about that. :) 

This was the year we survived a child of ours having their first broken bone.  Samantha had a hairline fracture in her elbow.  It happened at school (during recess) while I was away in England, Jeff handled it brilliantly and Sam with her arm cast was seen as a bit of a novelty in her class.  She loved getting everyone to sign it.    This year we also survived Jeff having the flu.  Both equally impressive.

The year ahead in 2017:  

In 2017, One of the events I am most excited for is our trip to NYC at the end of June. I somehow worked a miracle and got us 4 tickets to see "Hamilton".  And we are planning to get tickets to "Kinky Boots" when they go on sale too.  Both soundtracks the kids can sing in their sleep.  Getting to see two shows on Broadway is a huge treat and I know these memories will last a lifetime with the kids. 

Jeff has the opportunity to take a very cool trip this year and visit Joseph (Dawn's husband) in England.  The two of them will travel to France and be in Normandy for the D-Day anniversary. How great is that?  Jeff never does anything for just himself, so I am very happy for him that he will do this trip.  I think it will be a fabulous adventure.

Get this, both kids are registered for sleepway camp for 4 weeks this summer. I am still in awe that Ian wants to go back.  Sam loved her 12 nights there in 2016 and couldn't wait for us to register her again.  We are still working out the financial part of it (OMG!!  It's ridiculously expensive!), but I am hopeful we can make it work.  I need to be SUPER hopeful because Jeff has different feelings on if we can swing it.   I do believe the kids doing sleepaway camp is a great for their growth and development. 

We still haven't done the recessed lighting in the house.  I will hope again that maybe in 2017 we can get it done.  Although, if we are trying to figure out how to pay for the kid's camp, I don't see the recessed lighting be a top priority.   Who knows?   We got a dog this year, so stranger things have occurred.

My personal resolution is going to have more patience.  I am not sure why but I am getting more frustrated when people don't move as fast as I do or want them too.  I need to remind myself it's not the end of the world if it takes a few more minutes to check out, move up in the gas line, or a million other things that has me waiting behind excruciatingly slow people.  I think I just need to take a deep breath and chill.

Another resolution is to weigh the same or less than I do right now.  If I can maintain this weight (or even keep losing) a year from now, I will be very happy I didn't slide backwards and kept the progress moving in the right direction.

My New Year's Wish:

If you are reading this, I wish for us to have more time to reflect, time to enjoy the quiet and time to relax in 2017.  I hope that we can be able to slow down the clock and enjoy our days.  And oh yeah, let's be kind to one another.   Love you!

End of the year wrap-up: 2015 Edition

It's so true what they say, as the kids get older, the years are going by quicker.  I feel like I blink and it's a new year.  I am very impressed with all we managed to do in 2015.  It was a jam packed year, full of so many awesome adventures, new experiences and happy moments.

Without further ado, here is my annual recap:

Travel in 2015:

January: Orlando for a long weekend (the kids & me)

March:  Gettysburg, PA (Jeff & Ian)

March:  Richmond and Williamsburg (the kids & me with friends)

April:  Orlando* for a long weekend

 June:  NYC (the kids & me with friends)

June:  Cruise with Jeff's parents

July:  Ian in CT visiting relatives

July:  Kids in Orlando for 18 days, I was there for 5 of them.

August:  Deep Creek Lake/ Wisp with Jeff

August:  Ocean City, NJ for a week at the beach

October:  Williamsburg for the weekend

October:  Atlantic City, NJ for a family reunion 

November:  NYC*

November:  Orlando and Cruise with my side of the family

December:  Gaithersburg, MD for Matthew's Bar Mitzvah

December:  Pennsylvania for family Hanukkah party

*Represents trips taken solo

We did the week at the beach again this year.  It will forever be remembered as the year that Jeff and I (despite being the ones to pay for the beach house) didn't get a bedroom to sleep in.  Oy!  Never again I've promised Jeff.  Other than this huge SNAFU, it was a great week.  We will most likely go back again this summer and get the house right next to my cousins like we've done the past 2 summers.

In 2015, I feel fortunate to have spent as much time as I did with my family in Orlando.  As of right now, I don't have any side trips planned to go down by myself.  I'll have to see what I can do about that.  I treasure the time I can spend with my parents.  They won't be around forever and its important to me to see them as much as possible.

Ian and Samantha are doing great in school.  Their teachers are amazing and the best suited for each of them.  Even Samantha is enjoying going to school.  What more can you ask for than that?

Sam has surprised us more than few times in the last few months with her ability to adapt to new environments and being social.  It still brings a happy tear or two to my eye when I see how far she has come.  The biggest shock of 2015 hands-down has to be Sam's desire to want to go to Camp Ramah / sleepaway camp.  She will be going for 12 nights in August 2016.

Ian has decided to play the saxophone.  I love listening to him practice. He has come far from that first day when we thought, "Uh-oh, what did we encourage him to do???"   The other activity Ian is doing is Flag Football.  He'd love to be able to play tackle football, but I can't see that happening anytime soon.  Every time I see another story on the news about a high school student dying from getting hit too hard during a football game, I make sure Ian sees the story too.

Both kids have recently shown a natural talent for creative writing. It's pretty wild to read what they are working on (completely on their own, not because its a school project) and know that it came from them at 7 and 10 years of age.  I am seriously blown away by what Ian is writing.  He is that good.  Who knows, maybe Ian will become a writer.   Finally, the kids' school this year, is making sure that homework doesn't take over their home life.  It has truly made a difference and is a refreshing change from the last 5 years.  It's a nice change of pace to be able to have a life after school.  And this has made it possible for Ian to work on writing -- just for fun.  If you ask me, this is better than any homework they are being asked to do.

Both kids have shown an ability to carry conversations with adults.  I love this!  I love that we are raising kids who are not afraid to speak to adults. I love that when someone says to Ian, "How are you?" and he responds with, "Fine, thank you.  How are you?".  I love that the kids have eye contact with the adult they are speaking with.  It makes me feel like Jeff and I are doing something right in the manners department. 

Jeff has gotten into a great groove at work. He was picked to work on some major high-profile projects and did a wonderful job.  There have been many times when he put in 2:00am / 4:00am / 6:00am conferences calls on the weekends, but none of us mind as it isn't stressing him out.  I am so proud of him and what he is accomplishing.

Who knew this was the year that I'd get a new car?  While it isn't the new Pilot I wanted (for the 3rd row seat), I did get a new CR-V with all the bells and whistles.  I absolutely love the car and am enjoying all the new technology.  It's awesome!  I almost made it to the 200,000 miles I wanted to on the old CR-V.  The car got traded in with 194,000 miles on it.  No one can say I didn't drive it to the fullest it could go without getting into some major repairs.

2015 for me has become one of my best years ever.  Since September, I've really put a focus on my health. Between the boot-camp classes I do religiously 3 times each week and my 5:30am walks with my friend Tami, I feel like I've got a handle on this exercise thing.  Additionally, I've given up dairy, grains, and sugar.  It's clean eating all the way.  I am far from the end result I'd like to see, but the baby steps I have been making are starting to pile up.  It's a great feeling and I am really looking forward to 2016 to make even more progress.

I am loving my part-time jobs and am really enjoying the flexibility I have.  I even got a nice little raise from The Crazy Man about 2 months ago.  There's a funny story behind the raise, but let's just say that he was terrified I wasn't happy.  It's pretty cool the schedule I have been able to work out and still be available for the kids before and after school, and any school holidays or sick days that come our way.

Last year at this time I wrote about Jeff not joining us in a lot of our activities outside the house.  2015 has seen a big change in this.  We've been doing so much as a family and it's been really wonderful.  In fact, each month, Jeff tries to find something for us all to do outside the house.   It is awesome and I love it.   The four of us rock!  Go Team Toppall!

The biggest negative this past year has to be the kids fighting.  OMG!  They bicker over everything and anything.  I am so done listening to them try to kill each other.  They used to fight over who got to use their bathroom first for showers each day.  So I came up with odd and even days.  Every date that is an even number means that Ian gets to go first.  Every date that is an odd day means that Sam gets to go first.  If only every thing else could have a solution this easy.

Unfortunately the battle Sam has with getting dressed each morning before school is only mildly getting better. I tell her I won't make her breakfast until she comes downstairs dressed.  Some mornings this causes a huge battle, other mornings she complies 100%.  I'm guessing its all dependent on if she got a good night of sleep the night before.

Sam is still quick to explode, but I do believe her temper tantrums/meltdowns aren't as long lasting as before.  Jeff feels all this stems from her being frustrated.  It takes a lot of patience to work thru her anger and find the cause.

Another unfortunate situation is our plans for installing an irrigation system in our lawn never happened.  However, with two of the trees gone, we've gotten more sunlight and the lawn is not looking half bad.  Some of the best news I have to share is that I didn't rake one leaf this year.  Jeff did them all with his lawn mower.  What a great time saver!  I could get used to this.

My wrap up wouldn't be complete without mentioning that the kids and I still desperately want a dog.  It seems so hopeless that Jeff will ever be ready to jump back in.  I feel this big void not having a four-legged member of the Toppall family.  I have to say to myself every day (sometimes multiple times a day):  I love Jeff more than I love the idea of having a dog.  If I put it in that context, I can make it to another day.  But when you've had as many dogs as I have my whole life, it baffles me that we have two kids and not a dog for them to love. 


The year ahead in 2016:

I have some really wonderful plans coming up this year.  I hate to even mention it in case it doesn't happen.  So I will keep my mouth shut for the time being.  :)

I am hoping that we can continue with installing recessed lighting in at least the kitchen and dining room.  It has made such a difference in our downstairs family room.  This is probably where we'd spend the first bit of extra money that comes our way.

In a bit of irony, we will be paying a good deal of money for someone to remove my 'renovation tree'.  The tree is dying and at some point will probably fall.  Jeff would like to have the tree professionally removed; I would like the tree to fall in the direction its leaning and get me a new kitchen.  Jeff has won the argument on this one.  I can't guarantee that either A. It will fall exactly where I need it, and B., we won't be home at the time and potentially die from the tree crashing in the house.  While this is a chance I'm willing to take, Jeff is not.

I wish to continue pushing myself outside my comfort zone.  I love spending time with friends and plan to do that as much as possible in 2016, getting my family included on my adventures.  I really enjoy getting to hang-out with my kids.  They are amazing people!  Ian and I have been enjoying going to movies.  It's wonderful that Ian is old enough to join me.  He makes a great date.  :) 


My New Year's Wish:

To those reading this: I wish for the coming year to let us all enjoy the moment; savor our time spent with family and friends.  May we have reason to smile and laugh not just at the big stuff, but the little stuff too. 

End of the year wrap-up: 2014 Edition

It's crazy to think that 2014 is now over.  What a year its been!  We had The Good (Sam hitting some awesome milestones), The Bad (medical bills, car repairs, home repairs) and The Ugly (Jeff's disastrous new job from May to August). 

Overall, I can hardly complain.  My family continue to thrives and we are hanging in there.  Here is my annual recap.

Travel in 2014:

February:  Orlando for a long weekend*

March:  Jeff and Ian go to Orlando for Spring Training.

April:  Spent the night at Jeff's parents and then toured factories in PA during Spring Break.

June:  Weekend trip to NYC with Jeff / Kids at Jeff's parents.

June:  Ian in Massachusetts at Camp Ramah for 12 days

June/July:  11 days in Israel*

July:  Trip to Dutch Wonderland and Hershey with the kids and friends.

July:  Kids in Orlando for 12 days, I was there for 4 of them.

August:  Weekend trip to NYC with Jeff / Kids with my parents.

August:  Ocean City, NJ for a week at the beach.

October:  Girls weekend to Berkeley Springs, WVA*

November:  Girls weekend to Charlottesville, VA*

November:  Orlando for Thanksgiving (me and the kids)

December:  Cherry Hill, NJ with the kids during Winter Break to see family.

*Represents trips taken solo.

I always read what I wrote the year before.  I find it interesting to see how close I get to my goals  becoming a reality.  One year ago I wrote that I am giving up on our family doing a week at the beach together.  Guess what?  I made it happen!!  This past August, my family (along with my mom and stepfather) joined my cousin's family at Ocean City, NJ for a week.  We rented houses side-by-side, 3 blocks from the boardwalk.  Jeff was even able to join us...he was working very hard on searching for a new job during that week, but we had him around.  We all had a great time and very much enjoyed being with extended family. 

I love that I keep a written record of our adventures.  It's way too easy to forget things we've done or experienced.  I am happy to report that we are doing a better job not overscheduling.  Only Tuesdays is my ridiculous day that has me in survival mode.  I feel like from the moment I wake up to the moment my head can hit the pillow again, it is one 14 hour juggling act.  Fortunately most Tuesdays Jeff is able to pick Ian up from religious school.  Therefore, Sam and I can head straight home from her gymnastics class and get dinner made.  I intentionally pick very easy meals to prepare on Tuesdays. 

This past year Sam had some phenomenal moments.  I am so impressed with what she accomplishes the minute she thinks it is a good idea.  She went from having a very soaked pull-up each night when sleeping to deciding she no longer wanted to wear an overnight pull-up ever again.  That was that.  No accidents what-so-ever.  It's pretty extraordinary how she was able to do that.  Another amazing achievement was how quickly she learned how to tie her shoes.  She wanted to learn and BAM!, within 2 days, she got it. It is so much fun to listen to Sam read. She is light years ahead of where Ian was at this age. Sam still has a lot of social anxiety and trouble expressing her feelings.  We have a coordinated effort at school and with her play therapy to help her with this.  I guess its getting better.  But I tend to see all the instances where she lashes out and is not comfortable in a social setting.  Her goal with therapy can be summed up with these four words: "Explode less, Cope more."  She willingly goes to school each day, so I am thankful for that.  :)

Ian has chosen to learn to play the violin.  He walks around the house playing his heart out.  He doesn't sound half bad either.  He no longer is doing gymnastics and has a new passion in playing Flag Football.  Who knew I'd enjoy watching his game almost as much as he enjoys playing them?  He continues to do well in school and has a SCA (student council association) position in his class.  He attends meetings regularly and helps decide things like Spirit Days.  It's too cute listening to him fill us in on his lunch meetings.  Ian is currently working on better managing his time each night with his homework.  It's a hard balance for him to get a grasp on. 

I am most pleased to report that Jeff landed on his feet after the new job nightmare this past summer.  The newer new company he works for is a better match for Jeff's strengths and is a great fit for both Jeff and the new place.  He comes home at a reasonable hour each day, feels good about the work he is doing and is not stressed.  I know I appreciate having my former husband back and the kids love having their dad back.

Me?  I've been struggling with getting Jeff more included on things we do outside the house.  I've gotten into a very bad habit of planning with the kids and if Jeff doesn't want to come, we proceed without him.  Before I realized it, the majority of our activities didn't include him.  This has made me sad. 

This past year I've taken steps for my family to eat healthier.  I no longer allow preservatives, enriched flour, high fructose corn syrup, or red dye/yellow dye in the house.  I buy organic / all natural as much as possible.  It takes a lot of time to read labels at the grocery story, but its paying off.  Ian's latest blood work came back much improved. And I feel better about the food we are all eating.

In 2014 my mom's health scared me big-time.  Her Bypass (from only 2 years earlier!) had failed and she was in the hospital multiple times getting the blockages repaired. I hate seeing my mom go through this. It's hard seeing our parents age.  I will continue to go down to Orlando to be with my family as much as possible.  It's important to me for my kids and I to spend as much time as I can with the Florida crew.  Of course with every visit, my desire to move and live closer to them gets stronger.

I continue to juggle all my part-time jobs.  I somehow make it work and can still be there for the kids before school and after.  I love the flexibility and am fortunate to have filled up the time my kids are in school.  I've gotten in a good groove and hope it can continue for the foreseeable future. 

I still have many, many issues with my weight. I am not sure I will ever come to peace with this situation.  I do my best to work out regularly, but I can tell you without a doubt eating is my downfall.  Who knows, maybe I am trying to fill some void?  It will always be a struggle.


Looking forward to 2015:

I am enjoying our less hectic schedule and want this to continue through the new year. I also hope that we can do more things as a family, rather than me and the kids without Jeff.  I am going to do my best to not plan too far in advance and take each day as it comes. I am encouraging Jeff to plan at least one activity (outside the house) once a month for us to do as a family.  Hopefully he can chose things he will enjoy and want to be a part of.  Meanwhile, I will pick an activity for us to do (in our home) as a family once a month.  Admittedly, I do a very poor job of not interacting that much with anyone when we are all home.  We do eat dinner as a family each night, but then I let Jeff take over hanging with the kids.  More time spent as a family (both inside and outside our house) is my main goal in 2015. 

I have big plans for our lawn.  I am tired of it looking like crap.  We got a proposal for an irrigation system approved by our homeowner's association.  This should be installed sometime in the Spring.  Having our lawn water itself will go a long way to helping our grass stay green.  And having taken down two trees will help more sun shine through.  If this doesn't get our lawn looking good, I don't know what will. 

In 2014 we did get recessed lighting in our downstairs family room.  We absolutely love it!  It's been one of the best home improvement jobs we've done to the house.  It would be nice in 2015 if we can continue and put more recessed lighting in other parts of the house. 

My last thing I look forward to in 2015 is being grateful.  Taking time each day (or maybe weekly is more realistic) to appreciate all we have.  Even as Sam is exploding, my mom's words ring in my ears:  "You wouldn't want her any other way."  I know so many families where the parents are dealing with many more challenging issues...their son barely speaks, or the daughter is severely handicapped, etc.  Yes, I am thankful for Sam and her ability to let us know she is in the room.  :)  We have a roof over our heads, always plenty of food on the table, and lights that come on when we want them too.  A car that works (even if it has 167,000 miles on it!) and can get fixed when it needs to, and a family that is always there for each other.  Not to mention friends who double as family.  It's a pretty sweet life and we should be thankful for all we have.  We are truly blessed. 

A New Year's Wish:

To those reading this:  I hope the new year is full of only good moments. May each day be better than the last overflowing with love and laughter.  Go beyond your comfort zone and live life to its fullest.

End of the year wrap-up: 2013 Edition

Another 365 days have come and gone. I blink and there goes another year. 

It's time now for the 2013 wrap-up.

Travel in 2013:

January - Orlando with Ian

February - Orlando*

March - Orlando with Sam

April - Great Wolf Lodge with the whole family

June - A week at the beach in Emerald Isle, NC (me and the kids)

July - Kids at Jeff's parents for 3 days.

July - Cherry Hill, NJ to see relatives with the whole family

July - Girls weekend to Solomon's Island*

July - Kids in Orlando for 11 days, I was there for 5 of the days.

July - Annapolis (Robyn and Jeff)

August - Philadelphia (me and the kids)

September - Orlando for Lori's baby shower*

September - Hershey, PA with the whole family

October - Girl's weekend to Berkeley Springs, WVA*

November - Orlando with Sam

November - Kids at Jeff's parents for the night

December - Orlando with the whole family

*Represents trips taken solo

As I write this, I am feeling hopeful and inspired.  We've been making some progress with Sam's explosive behavior.  I am not sure if its because she is in play therapy once a week or if she is just getting older. Don't get me wrong though, she can still be very demanding and whiny.  The whining is the kind of noise that is akin to nails scratching down a blackboard or a cat being tortured.  She is doing great in school and willingly goes each morning. Whew! Believe me, I know this could've been a major battle if she decided she didn't want to be there. However, she lets everyone know school is not her most favorite place to be.  The only thing she likes about her time there is when its time to go home.  I still wait for that little light bulb that will go off over head when she realizes a trip to the school nurse will get her an early dismissal.   There are so many instances when the sweet and loving Sam comes shining through.  When she sees you get hurt and starts kissing your boo-boo.  Or, when she wants to help in the kitchen cooking dinner, raking leaves outside, or snuggle with you on the couch.  Those are the moments that you savor and wish would never end.  It's just so hard the other times when she is incredibly tempermental and not getting her way.

Samantha has this quirky, colorful, fun-loving sense-of-style.  She will put these outfit combinations together that in a million years I would never think of.  Somehow it works on her.  Think Punky Brewster with this killer instinct to layer items.  I've long given up telling her no that doesn't match.   Sam knows what she wants to wear every day.  She'll ask me what the temperature is going to be and then she goes to work.  It mostly drives me crazy, but I do my best to pick my battles.  I am ready to pull my hair out when she throws a fit yelling "There is NOTHING I want to wear in my closet."  And when I suggest 2 or 3 outfits that she refuses to consider, it only gets more frustrating for the both of us.  Sometimes out of the blue Sam will say she only wants to wear something 'basic'.  HUH??  Who knew Sam even knew the word 'basic'?  Apparently the word basic means sweat pants.  Um, yeah!  Sam would never have been ok with sweat pants before.  I swear she makes this stuff up to push my buttons.  And usually within the hour she is ready to completely change her look once or twice right before we have to leave.

Ian continues to be my rockstar.  It's hard to not compare the kids' dispositions.  Ian is so easy-going and eager to please.  We've gotten into a good groove this year with homework for him. It is so nice that Ian mostly does it all on his own.  Jeff and I will check it, but Ian doesn't need the hand holding that used to occur in 2nd grade.  He enjoys all his creative writing assignments and does a most excellent job of incorporating humor and a unique twist in his stories.  They are so entertaining to read. 

This year Ian has started to do more things around the house.  Beyond giving the bathrooms a light cleaning each Saturday, he nows makes his lunch for school, and gets all his own snacks.  He is a huge help with his sister and usually is at her beck and call.  Ian loves getting to stay home by himself when he doesn't want to come to his sister's activities or run errands with me.  It is a wonderful option to let him have this independence.  He feels so grown-up getting to be at home and to be honest, I move faster with only one child.

I was very fortunate this year to travel to Orlando as much as I had.  I actually didn't realize that I made it down there 7 times in 12 months until I wrote it in the list above.  Yowzer!  I am pretty sure I've never gone that many times in one year since I moved up here over 20 years ago.  I am so happy I was able to.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  I miss the family when I am not there and want to spend as much time with them as possible.  I had made it a goal from the year before that I wanted to take 3 trips down to FL during the school year; one by myself for a long weekend, and one long weekend with each of the kids on their own.  I was able to pull this off and it worked out splendidly.  The relatives loved having the one-on-one time and each of the kids did stuff they would love to do without worrying about their sibling enjoying it as well.  Astranaut training was the highlight of Ian's weekend and getting made up like a princess at Disney was Samantha's. 

In 2013 I proved to myself I am not human when it comes to scheduling.  My 4 jobs (preschool, The Crazy Man, and billing for two separate clients) are fitting in nicely with my Mommy life and being there for the kids.  So many family and friends have said I was ridiculous for taking all this on, but I have to admit it has worked out nicely.

I had such dispair over my weight last year at this time.  It was depressing thinking about my situation.  In May I managed to start getting control back and rejoined Weight Watchers.  I think this is like my 10th time back.  I am happy to say I've steadily lost 30 pounds before I hit a plateau. I've become a bit discouraged and gained a little back, but I am very determined to keep moving in the right direction.  This is always going to be a HUGE struggle.  So. Not. Fun.  Even when was I losing and getting great weigh-in numbers, I'd freak out a little on the inside waiting for it to not be a "good week".  In the morning I wake-up and wonder, has the weight I lost found me again?  I can't rest easy either way.  I have been enjoying my closet and getting to wear some of the smaller sizes that hadn't seen the light of day in sometime.  That is always nice when I can change up my wardrobe and not have to go shopping to do it.  :)

One of the nicer things that has happened in 2013 is my ability to get back to the gym.  I've consistently gone each weekday morning and get back home before Jeff leaves the house at 7:00am.  I am thrilled I've been keeping this schedule up for the better part of the year.  Yay me!  And another acheivement I am proud of is my ability to 'let go'.  Jeff has taken on grocery shopping each week.  It is one less thing for me to do.  I make out the grocery list for our week and Jeff does a wonderful job getting everything.  Sometimes I have to look at the groceries getting unloaded with one eye closed, but Jeff has learned quite a bit over the year about checking expiration dates and the correct quantities on items we will realistically consume.

Jeff, without writing too much about him and pisssing him off, is an incredible husband and father.  He works very hard to take care of us and make sure we are happy.  This past year Jeff was put on a client that is based in Pennsylvania.  It requires him to travel periodically for work and be gone anywhere from 1 to 3 nights some weeks.  The kids and I do great when Jeff is away, but we do love having him home with us.  Due to a costly repair not making sense to do on his Nissan Sentra, Jeff finally got a new car during 2013. I am so excited for him.  It was bound to happen eventually and the timing was just near perfect.  We made our last preschool payment in May.  The new car was obtained at the end of May and payments began at the begining of July. 


Looking forward to 2014:

Every now and then I have a moment when I feel like I'm doing an ok job with this mothering thing.  In 2013, I had more than a few.  For that I am grateful.  I hope this continues into 2014.  I was able to let some things go and will do my best to live in the moment.  For example, I used to try very hard to publish something in this blog every other day, like clockwork.  I've managed to drop that self-imposed pressure and be okay with only writing when I truly feel I have the time do so. 

My big thing in 2014 is I am not going to rush.  This must be Jeff's biggest pet peeve about me.  He will see me do everything but get ready, or but start dinner, or but help the kids and then when I do get to it, I rush, rush, rush to catch-up those 10 minutes I should've started that task sooner.  Jeff doesn't know this, but it does drive me crazy to feel like I have no time do the one thing I need to do. So if possible I am going to not get as distracted and slow down. Take time to breathe and put more time and myself in whatever the most important thing is that needs to have my attention. 

I've been trying to do more random acts of kindness and will continue to keep this up in the coming year.  It makes me feel good and I hope I am making a small difference (for the better) in someone's life.

We've had some very fun adventures traveling this past year.  I would love to continue exploring new places and creating lots of memories being together.  I've given up on doing a family trip to the beach over the Summer.  This just isn't going to happen anytime soon.  I am coming to terms with that.  I think the most I can hope for is that we continue to do a few weekend trips here and there. 

Another lofty goal I have is to redo our family room. I would love to get new furniture, paint, put in recessed lighting and update the tv in this room.  Jeff and I are slowly doing things around the house, (either cosmetic or home maintenance) and this room is my next big target.  After 9 years of living here, it was bound to happen, right?


A New Year's Wish:

Happy 2014 to each and everyone of you reading this.  Thank you for continuing to be a source of support, encouragement and friendship.

I hope that you find ways to be good to yourself and not feel guilt when taking a 2nd piece of cake or spending an extra five minutes reading the newspaper.  I hope that we all find humor and love and kindness in each day.   May 2014 be our best year ever.  I love you!

End of the year wrap-up - 2012 Edition

DUDE!!  2012 flew by!  While it seems like there were days that felt they would never end and plenty of nights where Sam being awake from 2:00am to 5:00am for no apparent reason felt like an eternity, overall the year moved quicker than speed of light to me.  We were busier than a one-armed paper hanger. 

Yes, its time again to wrap up the year and move forward to 2013.  Doesn't the number "2013" seem like such a big number? 

Without further ado, here is my yearly wrap-up.


TRAVEL IN 2012:

March - Girl's weekend for Jen's birthday in Chesapeake Beach*

May - Overnight in D.C. for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer*

June -10 days in Orlando (taking care of my mom)*; Jeff took the kids overnight to Dutch Wonderland

June -Overnight in Arlington, VA for my birthday  (surprise from Jeff)

July - Great Wolf Lodge with the whole family

July - Kids at Jeff's parents for 3 days

July - A week in Topsail, NC at the beach (me and the kids)

August - 10 days in Orlando with me and the kids; 1 1/2 weeks the kids in Orlando without me.

October - North Myrtle Beach, SC with the whole family

November - Girl's weekend in Berkeley Springs, WV*

December - Overnight in Philadelphia/Warrington, PA

*Represents trips taken solo.


It's been quite a year!  By far, the biggest thing that has happened to our Toppall team this year is that Sam is pooping on her own and regularly.  I can't possibly explain appropriately enough how much of a toll the "encompresis" was taking on me and the rest of the family.  My heart goes out to anyone who has a child suffering from it.  It got really bad, and I wasn't sure we'd ever be out of the woods, but for the last 4 months, Sam has consistently gone every day (sometimes even 2 or 3 times).  And, It's without the aid of Ex-lax!  I no longer think we need to request an IEP for Kindergarten next year and have to explain her situation to the school.  Additionally, we've stopped carrying a back-up change of clothes and 10 extra pairs of underwear/pull-ups wherever we go.  Another milestone I was sure we wouldn't see anytime soon.

Sam has shown us her love for helping out in the kitchen, whether it is making dinner, loading/unloading the dishwasher or getting her own snacks.   She enjoys baking and getting her an Easy Bake Oven proved to be a most awesome Hanukkah gift.  It is wonderfully exciting to see Sam writing her name and other words legibly. 

Ian is doing great and we've discovered that gymnastics is definitely his thing.  He not only loves doing it, but is starting to do some really cool things during his practices.  And fortunately in this past year, his reading ability is where it needs to be.  I can listen to Ian read for hours.  I love hearing from parents, teachers, and his gymnastics gym coach what a great kid he is.  It makes me feel like I am doing something right, but I can only take partial credit.  Ian is polite, charming, and hard to resist. His enthusiasm, quick wit and friendly manner is getting him many, many fans.

Jeff continues to make me laugh over a whole host of things unfortunately I can't share or write about.  We've made it another year together and I am still madly love with him.  He is my best friend.

As for me, I've become a huge disappointment to myself.  When November 20th came around and marked the 1 year anniversary of running the Philadelphia Marathon, I became depressed over what I've let happen over this past year.  My time at the gym became almost non-existent (to the point my membership, unbeknownst to me, was cancelled ALL SUMMER and I didn't even know it until October!) and my weight is back to the scary numbers I vowed I'd never see again.  I just can't seem to get it together.  I try to present a healthy image (eating well, working out, etc) to the kids.  I shudder to think what they will grow up thinking is normal watching my weight balloon up and down repeatedly.  Ugh.  I'm either obsessing over it or I am not.  There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.  At age 41, I am still trying to get it together. I am back at the bottom of the mountain facing a very big mental challenge to get back to the top or even start the climb.  This is real.  This is me.  I just want to wake up and be a size 6. Unfortunately that is not going to happen without a lot of hard work.  Frankly my mind is not there yet.  I am coming to terms that anxiety, the feeling of being perpetually overwhelmed, and running around like a chicken with its head cut off is getting the better of me.


LOOKING FORWARD TO 2013:

The biggest thing I am looking forward to this coming year?  It's our last year for paying for preschool.   We only have 5 months of payments left.  This is HUGE!  While I don't think it will instantly make us millionaires, it will help us greatly in saving money and possibly think about a new car.  You know, like in the next 3 years maybe it could actually happen.

In the Fall of 2013, I am going to have two kids at the same school, for the same amount of time.  And, the best part is, the school is located only a 1/4 mile from the house.  I can't even begin to imagine how amazing this will be, to not have to coordinate drop-offs, pick-ups and do the Monday shuffle with a minute to spare.

The other really great thing I am looking forward to are my three trips to Orlando; one with just Ian, one trip with just Sam, and one trip on my own.  Ian and I will be there at the end of January. I'm going down by myself over President's day weekend. And, I'll go with Sam at the end of March.  I was able to identify a time when one child had off from school, while the other child still had to go.  Each trip will be four days in length.  We will do things that are of interest to only them and give my family the opportunity to have some great one-on-one time with each Ian or Sam.  As my parents get older, I want to see them more frequently and have my kids spend as much time as possible.  I hope these trips will be special for them and we can continue them each year.

In 2013, I'd like our life to be more simple, but honestly I don't see how that can happen.  Maybe it needs to occur in baby steps.  I am actively working on saying "No" as much as possible when being asked to take on more than I can handle.  This is helping with not adding stress and chaos to an already busy day.  The one thing that does make life easier is that as Sam gets older, she and Ian can be signed up for similar camps and programs.  Plus, her being potty-trained is allowing her be accepted at places she wasn't previously. 

One thing I can do to make my life a little simpler is to go through an electronics withdrawal every Saturday.  For one year, I will not long onto Facebook or check email on Saturdays.  I will answer texts, but not initiate a text message.  I am very curious to see how I do with this one.  I like to keep things interesting and 24 hours of downtime might be a welcome change or it might make me realize just how out-of-control-connected I've become.

Another resolution I am going to make is to not watch "Beverly Hills 90210" (the original series) reruns for the entire year.  I have to agree with Jeff on this one and bypass the channel if I see the show is on.  Did you know the show will have been OFF the air for 13 years?  Yes, its time to say good-bye to Brenda, Dylan, Brandon, Kelly, David, Steve, Donna and Andrea.  Oh, and I can't forget Valerie, who gave the show a breath of fresh air when she came on and moved into Brenda's bedroom.

I'd love to write a resolution about getting back in shape, making healthy eating choices, and overall feeling better about myself, but I hate the idea of succeeding and then failing all over again.  Its much easier to stay a failure, right?  Yeah, I know, I am probably depressing you too with this.  Don't worry, my plan in 2013 is to figure this out and mentally come to terms with what needs to change so that I am not back in this position all over again in the future.  Until then, pass the fries to me, please.

My last resolution is it would be nice if we did a trip to the beach over the summer and went with a few other families.  I think it would be so much fun for the kids.  I feel like if I write this down, then maybe, just maybe there is a half a chance of it happening. 


A NEW YEAR'S WISH:

Happy 2013 to all my family and friends.  Thanks for another year of reading what I write in this blog. And for those who seem to be following me and I haven't had the chance to meet you, an even bigger thank you for reading the words of someone you don't even know.  That's pretty cool!

I hope this coming year is one filled with many magical adventures, gaggles of laughter, and incredible moments when you feel so blessed to be alive and smiling.  We are all so fortunate to have each other.  I love you! 

End of the year wrap-up - 2011 Edition

I am truly surprised that we are at the end of another year.  As the kids get older, the time seems to go by faster and faster. Each month comes and goes with a blink of an eye and before you know it, we are ready to ring in 2012.

TRAVEL IN 2011

Hershey, PA (with mom, sister and both kids) - February

Great Wolf Lodge (with Jeff and kids) - March

Las Vegas (with Jeff) - June

Orlando  (with kids) - July

Philadelphia  (with Jeff) - November

Orlando (on my own) - December

Philadelphia (with Jeff and kids) - December

So one of my resolutions during 2011, was to travel more with the kids as a family. I had wanted to do at least 3 trips with them. That didn't go as planned. But we really had a great time at Great Wolf Lodge and I am super glad we did that trip. I could see us going back there in a few years.  We also just came back from Philadelphia as a family and overall, was a great experience and lots of fun.

This year was a challenge for me.  I came to the realization that I can't have all these balls in the air and juggle everything.  Taking on training for a marathon was the thing that did me in.  It ended up consuming me, day and night.  While I only had to do 3 training runs each week, it was all I could think of and I became too consumed by it.  I don't have any regrets deciding to do it, but I realize now that it was a huge undertaking.  Running the marathon was everything I wanted the experience to be and I am very happy, content and fulfilled that I can check this off the list. 

Ian has continued to amaze me in school this year.  We are spending loads of time working on his reading and I think (hope) it is paying off.   We may have found the perfect activity for Ian; gymnastics.  It's great for his upper-body strength, building confidence and letting him progress at his own pace.  We may finally be saying good-bye to soccer.  We'll know for sure in the Spring when I ask him if he wants to continue.  Ian has shown amazing restraint and patience for his little sister.  He loves her greatly, despite how much she can annoy him. 

Sam is a force to be reckon with.  All I can say is, we try do as little as possible to piss her off.  Her vocabulary is crazy-impressive, as is her memory.  We've been impressed with Ian's intelligence for a long time, but Sam is showing signs of being even smarter at a younger age.  Jeff and I shudder to think, what if she turns out to be the smart one?   One of Sam's favorite activities is to get under Ian's skin and do whatever she can to illicit a reaction from him.  I found the key to dealing with all of Sam's excess energy is lots of structured activities.  She is currently enrolled in gymnastics, dance, and music classes throughout the week.  Throw in our new, indoor trampoline and we seem to be doing better than we were at the start of the year.  Sam absolutely loves her dance class and I could see her continuing this activity for many years to come.  She twirls around and around practicing her moves all week long.

Jeff is still enjoying his job and we are very happy he continues to be employed with a great company that values their employees.  The gag order on talking/writing about him is still in effect, so that is all I have to say about that or him.  The good news is that I still love him more than I thought ever possible to love someone you didn't give birth to.  No matter how much he drives me crazy, I am still coming back for more.


LOOKING FORWARD IN 2012

I hope to obtain better balance and not let the small, stupid things become more important than it should.  I'd like to set up a good schedule for working out and if I don't make it to the gym one day, know that it isn't the end of the world. 

When it comes to my weight, I really need to get refocused and start making healthy choices.  It's always going to be an uphill battle and I need to get serious about doing a better job.

Also, I am making a commitment to the kids to step away from the computer more (email, FB, blog) and spend more time with them - reading, playing games, and having fun.

I want to take each of the kids on their own to Orlando during the 2012-2013 school year, when they have 2 days off and we can make it a 4 day trip.  I think it would be very special and a nice opportunity for the Florida crew to have some one-on-one time with their grandkids. 

Also, Jeff's 40th is coming up in November.  I hope we can do something fun to celebrate.  I had a great time in Vegas, and it would be awesome to go some place he hasn't been and would like to go.

To all those reading, I hope you have a wonderful New Year and a 2012 filled with so many good times and laughter that your sides hurt from giggling so hard.  It's been a fantastic journey for this mom from the suburbs raising 2 kids with her partner-in-crime.  I eagerly await the adventures that are in store for us in 2012.