A surprise that surprised us all

I value giving the kids experience type gifts rather than something tangible.  I feel whatever the experience is, it will last much longer as a memory than the item that is wrapped up as a present. And we all get the chance to spend time together as a family enjoying something we don't usually get the chance to encounter on a day to day basis.

A few months ago I found out that Billy Joel was coming to concert in Philadelphia.  The timing was perfect as it was the day after Samantha's birthday and a few days before Ian's birthday.  Ian has always expressed interest in seeing Billy Joel perform live and with Billy recently turning 70 years old, I wasn't sure how many years left we had to make this happen.  Meanwhile, Samantha was dying to go to a concert, any concert.  Both kids have grown up listening to Billy's music and is fully aware of all his songs.  I am a huge Billy Joel fan (he is my absolute favorite) and Jeff enjoys his music as well.  In fact, we've gone to 2 Billy Joel concerts previously together.  He puts on a fantastic show.

My idea was to let the kids miss school on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend and head up to Philly.  We'd see the concert that evening and spend the night in a nearby hotel.  The next morning we'd be able to see my cousin Leslie and her family for breakfast before heading back home.  I had a dog sitter lined up for Lucy for the 24 hours we'd be gone and was so excited with the plan that was forming.  It was going to be a GREAT surprise and I knew the kids would freak out when we told them.

Jeff and I managed to keep the whole thing a secret until the morning of Sam's birthday.  I put together a cute flyer and handed an envelope to each kid for them to open that would tell them all about the gift.  "You get to miss school tomorrow!"  "We are going to Philadelphia!"  "You are going to your first concert!".   The Billy Joel ticket was attached.  We presented it to them at the same time.  I was ready to video record their reactions.

The surprise that I thought was going to be so amazingly well-received by the kids turned out to surprise Jeff and me even more.  Ian and Sam's reactions were almost non-existent.  They had no reaction.  It was strange and I was beyond disappointed.  WHAT!?!?  It was like they were in shock and couldn't even smile at the news.  It was a non-reaction.  The first thing that happened was Sam saying she didn't want to miss school the next day.  HUH?   And then she said, while she wants to go to a concert, she didn't want Billy Joel to be her first one.  She said he could be the third concert she goes to.  First place position goes to Pink!.    Ian, meanwhile, kept apologizing for his non-reaction and said he was looking forward to going.  Ugh.   Personally, I think this was the absolute last thing either kid expected ever happening.  They really had no clue as Jeff & I kept these plans such a secret that there was no chance for them to find anything out.   I was so depressed all day on how little the kids reacted favorably to their birthday gift from me and Jeff.  It really threw me and I wasn't expecting this to go the way it was.

Every year we let the kids pick what restaurant they want to go to for their birthday.  But this year, because of the trip to Philly, we were not going out to dinner and I said I'd make their favorite dish and we'd get cake.  I know this disappointed Samantha and she wasn't afraid to let the grandparents know when they called her that day to wish her a happy birthday that basically we were the worst parents in the world for not taking her to her favorite restaurant.   What she didn't tell the grandparents or anyone else that called was that we had other awesome plans instead.

Our road trip to Philadelphia was a big success and we stopped in Delaware at our most favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch.  Whenever we are driving on I-95 we try to plan it around us being near here for lunch or dinner.  It's about 2 hours from our house and each one of us loves this place.  It's about 5 minutes off the interstate and brings a smile to our face every time we get to go.  Jeff and I found this place very randomly a few years ago after we had dropped the kids off at camp and was driving back home.  Since then, we've managed to eat at Border Cafe about a dozen times over the years.

Once we got to Philadelphia, Jeff found us a really cool place to hang out for a few hours before checking in to the hotel.  It was a park off of Spruce Street that was a combo street festival and full of hammocks to lounge around in.  The hammocks were built for two people.  How fun!  It was a gorgeous day and so wonderful to be outside soaking in the sunshine.

I had found us a restaurant near the stadium for dinner and with a little luck was able to get a reservation.  The restaurant is a big hangout for all the stadiums nearby and this evening was filled wall to wall with Billy Joel concertgoers.  The music roaring from the speakers in the restaurant was all Billy Joel music.  How cool!   The restaurant offered a free shuttle to and from the stadium so you could leave your car parked at the restaurant.

It was shaping up to be a fantastic day and both kids finally came around in wanting to go to the concert.

Look out, here comes 11!

Samantha turns 11 today. This past year has been monumental for her.  All social anxiety has gone by the wayside and dare I say, Samantha has blossomed.  She regularly goes to a nearby classmate's home in the neighborhood to see if her friend is able to play.  This is a pretty big deal as Samantha was more fond of staying home alone rather than hang out with the neighborhood kids.  And now she can easily spend 3 to 4 hours outside. Goodbye iPad!  Well not completely, but you get the idea.

Another huge sign of social advancement is Samantha wanting to play softball.  Holy moly, this is a team sport!!  And she didn't even need to know anyone on the team or make sure she had a friend join her.  This is amazing!  But wait there's more!  Samantha also expressed interest in doing AFYP; the drama group that Ian participates in.  Samantha is currently working on a production of Alladin Jr.  Talk about putting yourself out there!

Samantha has also continued horseback riding, which she absolutely adores and would love to bump up her lessons to 2x a week.  Needless to say, it's been a very busy Spring for her and we've done much juggling of the various schedules to try to accommodate all the activities.

This past year we also found out that Samantha has a mild learning disability that has impacted reading comprehension, phonological sounds and spelling. We are confident that within 4 to 6 months time of working with a reading specialist (which Sam will start in the Fall), she will be able to catch up.  But this year has been a struggle with the demands of 5th grade  Her homeroom teacher is amazing and has been helpful in accommodating Samantha but we definitely need to bump up our efforts now that we know exactly the areas Samantha needs special help in.

Samantha is growing up.  Her height has shot up this past year and her face is looking so grown up.  I can't believe it sometimes that is my daughter and how beautiful she is.  She pretty much wears her standard uniform of black leggings, t-shirt, and her hair in a ponytail every day.  No matter where we are going, Sam finds this look to be the one for her.  It takes a lot for her to vary and change any part.

Samantha has been known to drive me crazy most days. She has her mind made up way before you even try to reason with her.  I quickly pick my battles and most days, it's not worth the challenge.  But there are the days when Samantha is sensible and so amazing to be around and I get excited to see the person she is turning in to.  She is funny, quick-witted, wicked smart, and has an amazing sense of self.  She stands up for herself and is quick to let you know what she is thinking.  When she likes you, she really likes you and is still bringing her 2nd grade teacher her favorite candy bar of Kit Kats.  She'll randomly stop by her former teacher's classroom just to give her a hug.  She also loves her 3rd grade teacher and enjoys her time with her each Wednesday when Sam does after school tutoring with her.  You always know when Sam is good with something when she willingly goes and does not complain about it.

Happy birthday to my fiercely independent, feisty, funny, and brilliant daughter.  Each year we get a little closer to figuring all these issues out.  It's pretty awesome how far we've come.  You are the perfect blend of your dad and me and a force to be reckon with.  I hope this year brings you the happiest of days and the ability to adjust your sails when the storm hits.  You teach me every day how to be a better mother by pushing me to new limits I never thought possible. I love you more than you realize and wish for you a great year of being 11 with Lucy by your side.

1st day of 5th grade!

Best blog post update EVER!

I needed a day or two to let myself calm down a bit before I could write this next line.....

IAN GOT THE ROLE!!!  Yes, THE role!  OMG!!!

Here is the official description of what the movie is about:

"Tell Me About Orange" tells the story of Elliot, a gay, blind middle school student, who has been keeping his crush on a boy a secret-even from himself.

Ian is going to play Elliott! 

It was about 7:20pm on Sunday evening when the call came on Ian's cell phone.  Martha, the casting director, was on the phone.  We weren't sure yet who Ian was talking to until we hear him say, "You want me to play Elliot?"

It was at that point we knew and the excitement went thru the roof at Casa del Toppall.  Holy Moly!  This was happening!!  Who knows the reaction you will experience when something like this occurs?  For me, it was instant racing of the heart rate and a mix between an emotional cry/laugh.  WOW!  Once Ian got off the phone, the jumping up and down and screaming in excitement hit the roof.  It was so awesome that we were all home for this moment.

Going into this we kept our expectations realistic and hoped at the most Ian was going to be asked to be an extra.  But this turn of events was simply crazy.    

I'm thinking ahead and got the screening party plans forming.

Making the cut

Ian went on his very first real audition on Monday.  It was for a short film and the part he was auditioning for, was a blind, gay, Jewish boy who is preparing for his Bar Mitzvah.  And no, I am not kidding.

Ian heard about this opportunity from his theatre teacher who knew someone who knew someone who had a friend looking for local talent to cast in this movie.  They were planning to use union and non-union actors and the acting job is paid.  This is all so very exciting and each step Ian got closer to showing up in person for the audition had him (and all of us!) in awe and dreaming of what it would be like to have Ian starring in a movie at this young age.  And if you are going to dream, why not dream big?   Doesn't the role of a blind, gay, Jewish boy scream academy award nomination?  :)

The first step was to send in an email that he was interested in auditioning.  After hearing back from the point person, Ian had to send in a headshot and a very recent picture.  After successfully getting thru this step, Ian was sent information on sending in a taped audition using pages of the actual script.  About 2 weeks after that, Ian was asked to come in for an in-person audition.

Auditions were scheduled from 5:00pm to 8:00pm in Bethesda.  Ian was given the 6:50pm time slot.  When we arrived and took our seats, you can't help but notice all the moms and kids around you waiting for their audition too.  They called Ian back. I was not able to accompany him, but let me tell you, my heart started pumping wildly waiting for Ian to return.  I have no idea why I got as nervous as I did.  It was crazy.  Ian came back out about 10 minutes later and whispered to me that he thinks it went really well.  He was asked to stay longer.  So we wait it out for the next set of boys to go for their audition and then Ian is asked to read with one of the girls that were asked to stay too.  Meanwhile, Ian had a friend from school who was auditioning too and he was dismissed and told to go home.

After Ian had read with one of the 2 girls who has stayed behind, the girl comes out and says to her mom she can now go home.  Ian comes out a few minutes later and is told to stay even longer.  Seriously, can this get more exciting waiting to see what is going to happen?!?!

I asked Ian what happened when it was just him and they had sent the girl out before him, he said he heard them talking and asking if there was enough time for Ian to read with the boy they had cast Harry.

After a few more minutes, the point person stuck her head back in the hallway and said Ian can now go home too and they would be in touch.  Either they ran out of time to do all they wanted to do, or Ian was just cut.  The strange thing was, the woman who told Ian he could go, was about to say something else, but held her tongue.  She had all this energy about her and it was like she was tripping over herself to keep it in.

We are patiently waiting for an email to come letting us know what was decided.  In any event, Ian is very proud of the audition he gave and feels he did the best job he was capable of.  This was a great experience for him and will help prepare him for future auditions.

The very sense of irony

Once a year Jeff and I will take the day off from work and spend the day together while the kids are at school.  It's awesome to feel like we are playing hooky and enjoy going out when the rest of the world is busy at school or work.   If you haven't done this with your significant other, I highly recommend it!

This past Monday was our day date.  We made plans to go to the movies and see "The Long Shot".  It's a funny movie and the perfect choice for Jeff and me.  I am truly a middle school boy at heart and really appreciate Seth Rogen's sense of humor.  It's not for everyone, but I don't get easily offended and laughed through the whole thing.  Jeff did too so it's good I've got a partner in crime.

Imagine our surprise as we take our seats and watch the 11:00am show fill up with moms and babies.  Lots of moms and babies!!  Jeff and I managed to stumble upon the baby friendly showing at the movie theatre.  I am all too familiar with this special kind of showing.  I used to take Ian and Sam to the movies all the time when they were infants at a different nearby theatre.  It's pretty awesome and a great way to get out of the house and still watch the latest movies.  The theatre does not turn the lights all the way down, there are strollers everywhere when you walk right in, and more moms than you can count feeding their babies and getting them to fall asleep during the movie.  I do think they even shorten the amount of time of previews before the film starts.  Normally, the standard has been 20 minutes worth and this showing had about 10 minutes.

I remember one showing I was at (years and years ago) when they stopped the film temporarily and the manager made an announcement that the local public schools have called for a Winter weather advisory and they are letting school out early due to the impending storm.  The manager wanted us to know in case anyone had school-age children they needed to go get.  It is really awesome how accommodating they are for this particular demographic, who I'm sure at some point never thought they'd be in a movie theatre again after just having had a baby.

Anyway, I digress.  Jeff and I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of all this.  We intentionally went out while our kids were at school and here we are surrounded by at least 30 moms and their infants.  For the most part, they were all good.  The few that couldn't settle down left and came back once they were quiet.

But the best thing about being surrounded by these babies?  They weren't ours and we could leave the movie theatre and go back to having our 2 kids who are in 5th and 8th grade.  I think Jeff agrees with me that we are so happy to be beyond the baby stage.  :)

A magical mother's day

This Mother's Day was pretty amazing.  Jeff made me a breakfast that blew me away.  He made cinnamon roll pancakes and OMG!, they were out this world. I took a bite and looked at him and said, I’ve known you for 16 years and you’ve been capable of making this, this whole time!?!  I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me. I was in food heaven and clearly proclaimed these pancakes are better than the ones we get at Miss Shirley’s and Uncle Bill’s; two restaurants that for me has set the bar very high for gluten-free pancakes. But yes, these pancakes were better than those.

I’ve been trying to follow the WW plan and put the ingredients in the app after I ate them. 47 points are what I consumed.  To put this in context, I get 23 points a day.  Yikes!   I will say, they were worth every point and I have no regrets.  While the kids were at religious school, I hopped on the treadmill and walked 6.5 miles, burning 650 calories.  Definitely made me feel better after doing what I could to counter that delicious ridiculousness of a point heavy breakfast.

The kids this year put a lot of thought into the gifts they got me.  Ian got me a selection of the softest, fluffiest socks.  It’s like wrapping my feet in little cocoons of pillows.

Samantha went all out and got me 2 hats. She picked out and paid for with her own money. Think very big and fancy.  You know those crazy beautiful hats that they showed the women wearing at Kate Middleton’s wedding.  Yep, we are talking that style.  Jeff tried to talk her down from it and said mom will only be able to wear it once or twice a year.  Say what?!!?   I am bewildered where Jeff thinks I go and can wear this hat even ONCE!, let alone once or twice a year!!  Are you up for the Kentucky Derby next year?   I am ready!!  It was very sweet of her to do this.  And I am going to do my best to come up with a reason to wear it.  Do you know of any fancy garden weddings I can crash?

This is the other hat and one that fortunately is appropriate for the beach. 

Sam also made her own card and reading it brought tears to my eyes.

We ended the day meeting Jeff’s parents and sister and her family at a restaurant for dinner.  It’s always nice when we can get together.  And we were able to not only celebrate Mother’s Day, but Elaine’s birthday too, which was the day before.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and two kids.  The thought, effort and time that went into making my mother’s day special were lovely and very touching.

Well, that's one way to learn about it.

One of the funniest conversations we've had as a family took place the day after we got back from NYC.  We were driving home from Baltimore, after having a wonderful Passover Sedar at Jeff's parent's house and was listening to the soundtrack to "The Prom", the Broadway musical we had seen 2 days earlier, on the car ride home.  There were so many funny lines in the show that you miss them from laughing at the line before it.  By playing the soundtrack in the car, we could truly hear all the lyrics to the songs and laugh all over again.  We were all enjoying this and having a good time on the 1 hr, 20 minute drive home.

Just a bit of background before I tell the conversation we had in the car.  11 years ago, when Samantha was born, Jeff started calling her his 'little baby girl'.  At some point, he just shortened this term of affection to LBG.  11 years later and he still uses these initials from time to time to refer to Sam.

The Broadway musical "The Prom" is about a high school girl in Indiana, who is a lesbian and wants to bring another girl to the prom as her date.  The school won't allow this to happen and decides to cancel the prom and quickly Emma becomes an outcast.  Meanwhile, there are 4 aging Broadway stars who get wind of this news and decide it will help their career if they help this girl and make the news with their altruistic efforts.

Ok, now on to the conversation in the car on the ride home from Baltimore:

As we are listening to the music, there are certain lines that Sam hears and asks us what they mean.

Music:  "...stealing the rights of a girl who is an LGBQ-Teen"
Sam:  What does LGBQ mean?
Jeff/Me:  L is for lesbian, G is for gay, B is for bisexual, and Q is for queer.
Sam: So when you call me your LBG....?
OH MY GOSH!!  Jeff had no idea 11 years ago those letters he was using was going to have any other kind of meaning.   We all got a good laugh and unpaused the music to keep listening.

Music:  "...but if it comes to be, you've lost your virginity..."
Sam:  What does virginity mean?
At this point, Jeff is dying and ready for this car ride to be over.
Jeff/Me:  You know what sex is?
Sam:  Yes, sadly I do.
Jeff/Me:  Being a virgin means you haven't had sex yet.
Sam:  So I am a virgin?
Jeff:  Yes, and you will be until I'm dead.

Music:  "....Let's hope you don't masturbate, 'cause the scripture says we'll have to cut off your hands..."
Jeff and I are holding our breath when this line comes and goes.  We successfully make it 2 lines past this one in the song and give a sigh of relief.  Looks like we made it thru and Sam didn't pick up on this word and ask what it is.  I even do the motion of wiping the sweat off my brow as a gesture we are safe.  Meanwhile, Ian is giggling because he knows exactly what is going on.
Sam:  What does masturbate mean?
OMG!  We all thought we were safe and out of the woods on this one.
Jeff:  I'm getting out of the car, you don't even need to stop.  I'll just jump out here.
Me:  I'll tell you Sam what masturbate means.  (And I do what I think is an awesome job of explaining it.  Fortunately, Sam doesn't ask any follow-up questions.)

Jeff:  We have just used Broadway musicals to explain Sex Ed to Sam.  This is not normal.

Ian and I are laughing hysterically.  In all the years we've been doing the drive to and from Jeff's parent's house, this has to be our most memorable yet.