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Friday, September 22, 2017

It's too much.

There is too much going on and I don't feel like I am doing a good job keeping on top of things.  I hate this feeling that I am just treading water, trying hard to keep my head above the surface.

Due to other commitments, Jeff and I weren't able to make it to Ian's back to school night at school.  I am not sure how much we missed, but I do know meeting Ian's teachers would've been really nice.  Also finding out about his classes and what is expected would make me feel more at ease with all this new middle school territory we are in.  Fortunately, Ian has a good head on his shoulders and I'm hoping he can stay on top of it.  (Other than you know, losing all his stuff.  Ha!).

We did make it to Sam's back to school night and I'm frustrated to learn that the teacher didn't know Sam had a 504 plan (504 plans are put in place for those students who need some accommodations in school to help with learning).  So now I'm working on remedying that situation.  Furthermore, her teacher said info would be available on blackboard (school's website) each night and to check it daily to see updates.  Unfortunately Sam's teacher didn't have her site set up yet and now I'm needing to follow-up with her on that.  Seriously??!!

The Crazy Man has got some major crap happening to him and therefore, I am roped into it too trying to help him.  I was really hoping I'd be done working for him by now, but it's the complete opposite.  I can't go into much details, but know that he has been wronged in a big way and we are working to fix that situation.

My eating is sooo out of control.  It's no surprise that I am feeling much stress and of course, delicious food is too easy to come by and make me feel better.  I hate waking up each morning hoping that the clothing I want to wear still fits.  This feeling alone can put me in a depression.  Each day I say I'll get back to being hyper-focused on what I'm eating, but yet another day goes by and I'm disgusted with myself.  :(

Being sick for a full week didn't help and I still feel like I am playing catch-up with everything.  Having my head no longer feel like its in a thick fog is definitely helping me get back on track.

I have to check my calendar constantly to make sure I'm where I'm supposed to be and figure out what activities we have after school.  More than a few times I've thought of letting the kids Uber their way around town.  Ha!  Our activities are going in full force and I am back to spending lots of time in the car.

Oh yeah, I managed to get in a fender bender about 2 weeks ago.  It was with an Amazon delivery van of all things.  And no, he wasn't about to make a delivery at my house. It was very minor and fortunately no one was hurt. It was the other guy's fault, but still this makes it one more thing that needs to be taken care of and fixed.  I

Ian's Bar Mitzvah planning is at the top of my head as something that needs to be addressed.  It's crazy all the details that will need to be taken care of in the coming months.  Currently, Jeff, Ian and I are going around in circles trying to figure out the guest list. We need to get that finalized sooner rather than later so we can send out save the date info.  We've also had about a million different ideas on how we envision our Saturday evening celebration.  It's crazy all the ideas we are coming up with.

I am finding myself constantly stopping what I am in the middle of doing and taking deep breaths.  By the time I crawl in bed at the end of the day, I have very little trouble falling asleep.  As soon as I can shut my brain off, I happily do.  Although, I have this knack to work things out in my sleep and wake-up with a fresh, new perspective that helps.   It's funny, sometimes my to-do list is super long and I'll put it aside and take Lucy for a 4 mile walk.  I've never done that before...not be super-focused in wanting to get the stuff done on my list.  But for some reason getting outside and taking Lucy for a walk seems like the best idea at the time and I just go for it.  And my usual method of crazy multi-tasking is taking a back seat too.  I'm either getting good at being present in the moment or I'm just realizing maybe everything is not as important as I thought it was and it can wait.  Whao!  Who is this new person I've turned into??!?!?

I long for the days of Summer past.  We had a great summer and I miss how I spent my time.  I feel like with school starting one week earlier than normal I was not mentally ready to be back.

I realized about a week or so ago that I had gone almost 3 weeks without seeing any of my friends.  I didn't realize how important it is for me to be around my friends.  I quickly fixed that and scheduled some fun outings (movies, lunch, shopping, etc).  It certainly helps me feel better and lifts my mood.

And of course, no matter how much I feel overwhelmed, I turn on the news and see what the people in Houston are dealing with, or the attack in London, or the island of Barbuda. What about the fact that all of Puerto Rico has no power and most likely won't for the next 4 to 6 months.  Seriously, nothing I've got going on can be as bad as that.  It quickly puts it in perspective and my issues quickly seem very trivial.  I know how fortunate I am, what an amazing family I have, and how loved I am.  And what a great life I have.  I just need to keep reminding myself.

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