End of the Year Wrap Up: 2020 Edition

 This has truly been a year unlike any other.  I now think of life in terms of before March 13th and after March 13th.   Life came to a complete and sudden stop on March 13th.  Everything changed!  We were scared to go out, we were terrified we'd get sick with Caronavirus, we quickly found ways to adapt to eating at restaurants outside, picking up curbside delivery, and of course, wearing a mask wherever we go.   Toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies and many kinds of food were all hard to find for many, many months.  It was and is such an insane and surreal time for all of us.  School became distance learning and Jeff's office, as all of them in our area, shut down and moved the employees to working from home.  Everything was all about zoom meetings, virtual get togethers, and being isolated from social gatherings, birthday parties and travel.  The month of March seemed to go on forever.  April felt like it would never end.  It didn't matter that it was Spring Break as nothing could be done to take advantage of the time off from school.  Each day blurred into the next and it became a joke that no one knew what day it was anymore.  Camp got cancelled for the kids and it was a huge blow.  Our community pool opened and we were able to visit it once the county we are in went to Phase 3. 

Bedtimes went out the window!  Once there was no reason to get up for school, there was no real reason to tell the kids to go to bed at their reasonable usual time.  Ian was averaging 1 to 2am.  Ugh!  And Sam was not going to bed before 11:00pm easy.  Jeff and I routinely went to sleep before the kids each night.

During the Summer, we managed to make a week at OC,NJ with the Reber's a reality.  It was surreal being together and not having any of our parents or extended family join us.  We had a great week and loved that we could have this to break up our summer.   We also booked a segue tour in Philadelphia and went whitewater rafting in West Virginia.  We became more outdoorsy than we've ever been. 

I started my days taking 5 mile walks with Lucy.  It was the best!  The weather was exceptional and being outdoors came easy.  We got a hammock (gift from Mom-mom!) and spent many hours relaxing on it.  That hammock on our deck became like an extra room for us.  Much needed extra space and fresh air.  

I met friends in their driveways or on their deck for brunch or dinner.  It was the only safe way we could socialize. We got a firepit (another gift from Mom-mom!) and spent many, many evenings enjoying the fire place with friends.  

The kids and I started a new tradition and each Saturday or Sunday, we'd get popcorn from our local movie theatre and watch a different movie each weekend.  It was awesome and gave us something to look forward to.  Plus, I got to introduce the kids to more of my favorite movies. 

We managed to do some awesome updates to the house and finally got recessed lighting in our dining room, kitchen, living room and both the kids' bedrooms.  What an amazing difference that has made.  We also got a new dishwasher, refrigerator (hello French doors!), 2 new couches, all new dishes, and a new lawn mower.  What a surprise that we were able to make all this happen.  

And with all the extra time we had on our hands, Samantha repainted her bedroom and I repainted the master bedroom and the bathroom. I made over the master bedroom and redecorated with new bedding, lamps and curtains.  It looks amazing! The best was cleaning out the shed and emptying no less than 20 huge storage bins.  The shed looks amazing and is so organized.  I also undertook a huge photo organization project and made a phenomenal system to store photos from the past 50 years.  And I cleaned out my closet & drawers and got it super organized.

Lucy loved us being home 24/7 and it soon became all she knew.  We had never been home like this before.  And in the same vein, Lucy became an emotional support therapy dog for real.  Jeff and Samantha leaned heavily on her for comfort during some of the more trying times of being stuck at home while doing work and school. 

In some ways the pandemic gave us so much (better finances - we couldn't do anything else to spend money on. Ha!), much time spent with the four of us together and, a slowed down pace of life that really let us appreciate everything we had to be thankful for.  I had the unique opportunity to go down to Orlando and be there for my sister and her family for the birth of Alexis.  Originally, it was not planned that I'd be down there, but Lori really needed the help with the 2 girls so that Ben could be with Lori for the birth and stay at the hospital.  Additionally, Samantha and Ian each were able to take a trip and spend time at Lori's house during the beginning part of the pandemic.  Since school was virtual, they could do it online in Orlando and not miss any of their classes.  Ian used his extra downtime and wrote, wrote and wrote some more all these awesome tv shows and movies.  He has ideas that just don't stop coming.  He wrote a full series about Jewish Sleepaway Camp Mockumentary and entered in many different screenwriting contests.  And Ian worked on his stand-up routine and got to perform for a high school theatre teachers in the backyard of one teacher's house in June.  It was pretty awesome and a good experience for him.  

The other thing quarantining gave us was the opportunity to binge watch so much tv!  It was insane the amount of shows I could plow through. 

The pandemic also took a lot away from us as well - spending holidays with either Jeff's family or mine, trips down to Florida to visit the extended family, kids getting to go to sleepaway camp (Ian was going to attend for the whole summer), and many opportunities for socialization with friends and the kids getting to experience school in person. Additionally, all chances for Ian to perform in school plays was cancelled.  He was one of only 2 freshman to get a part in "Chicago" !   Unfortunately, this play never made it even to rehearsals. And one of the bigger disappointments was Samantha not getting to do all the traditional 6th grade promotion ceremony stuff at the end of the school year.  School ending very suddenly in mid-March was hard to swallow when you realized there would be no graduation ceremony or end of the year party.

Ian got his driver's permit in December and has been racking up hours behind the wheel at a crazy pace.  He drove a combined 5 1/2 hours on our drive to and from Vermont.  And did 3 hours while in Vermont.  Ian is doing great, but could really use help with parking.

I know we will all be too happy to see 2020 to end and hope for a better year in 2021.  With the vaccine now widely becoming available, it looks like we will be able to get back some much needed normalcy.  

Travel this year:

January:  Ian traveled to NYC with Dagan to visit a camp friend for 4 days

January:  Robyn and Sam travel to NYC for the day with Susanne and her girls

February:  Robyn and Sam travel to Orlando for 5 days 

April:  Robyn in Orlando for 8 days

April / May:  Ian in Orlando for 13 days

May:  Robyn and Sam in Orlando for 5 days

July:  Week at the beach, OC, NJ

September: Jeff and Robyn in Chincoteague for 1 night

December:  Vermont with the family for 5 nights

This past year I discovered both kids struggling with distance learning for entirely different reasons.  Samantha had a hard time focusing with her ADHD (inattentive type) and either found the teachers going too fast and couldn't keep up, or moving too slow and getting extremely bored.  It also was a big disadvantage to starting a new school and have never met her teachers or even took a tour of the school to see where her classes would be.  Everything, including the ramping up program, was all done virtually.  Samantha hardly knew anyone in her classes and had to figure out how to adapt to a virtual environment.

While Ian had a hard time with distance learning because he is so social and loves being around his friends and actually attending school.  So much of what he loves involves showing up and participating - musical theatre, improv, play rehearsal, dance classes.  It was very hard for him to adapt to being 100% virtual.  

Once it was figured out how to proceed safely, Ian was able to do dance classes in person.  He takes 6 classes a week! and absolutely loves them.  Ian also continues with his voice lessons and does this 2 times each week.  His singing has improved so much.  It's really awesome to listen to him sing.  He is in his last year of religious school and attends this virtually.   Samantha does do horseback riding in person and this has proven to be a much needed activity to get her out of the house.  Her Sunday religious school is in person, but the Tuesday class meets online.  

Ian also got himself a job and will be portraying Spiderman at children's birthday parties.  He contacted the company all on his own and went after this opportunity.  And with a few buddies from school, Ian started a podcast.  A new episode comes out each Friday.  It's actually pretty funny and sounds very professional! 

I am a firm believer that this pandemic will either bring your closer together or accelerate any problems you are having.  There is no way you can come out of this the same as when you started.  All this time together with the same person is a huge social experiment in getting along.  There is no opportunity to leave to go to work, or take a business trip, or have a girl's weekend or anything else that would bring a natural separation.  And with no end in sight, month after month after month, it really does wear on your psyche and make you emotionally burned out.  Even the most optimistic person will become depressed at the state of things.  So many people lost so much, so many businesses will never recover, Broadway will be shut down for more than a year, travel became almost non-existent.  At the time I am writing this, over 300,000 people in the US lost their lives to COVID-19.  It is truly astonishing and tragic how much has happened since that first day in March when it all came to a dead stop.  

I feel so blessed that Jeff and I managed to keep it together and become closer through all of this.  Our house is on the small side, so time together was our only option.  The kids had their moments of trying to adjust, but did well and somehow we managed to thrive under these quarantine conditions.  We were fortunate to have our jobs and be financially secure.  We made many donations to our local food banks and did our best to keep the smaller restaurants around us in business by doing take out many times over the past several months.  The best feeling for us was when restaurants opened again at the end of May, and we'd eat outside on their patios to give them business and leave huge tips for the waitstaff as a way to help them for being out of work for many months and not having a lot of people showing up to eat out. Or leaving big tips when ordering take-out.  And when Ian was finally able to get a haircut again, I paid his favorite barber for the 3 haircuts he missed by not being able to go because they were forced to shut down.

The Year Ahead in 2021:

Ha!  I can say all I want about 2021, but who knew 2020 was going to turn out like it did?  My biggest wish is for a vaccine and that everyone I care about and love gets vaccinated.  This is the year of Samantha's Bat Mitzvah and I desperately want everyone to be able to travel and make it for this wonderful milestone.  Additionally, my dad turns 75 this year and I want us to be able to go down to Orlando and celebrate with the family. I want to hug everyone and not let go!  Or worry, one of us is sick and infecting the other.   And lastly, I so very much want Ian and Sam to attend camp.  This will be the last year that Ian is able to go and it is so important that he gets this time with his camp friends and has one last year to make memories.  

I plan to keep up the walking and get back to the awesome groove I was in doing 5 miles each day.  Somehow I stopped and really miss the amazing benefits walking gives me.

My New Year's Wish:  

I wish for our newly elected President to unite this country back together.  For all of us to realize we are on the same side and love is much better than hate.  I hope we all find many reasons to smile and enjoy the little things.  May 2021 make all our wishes come true.  Happy New Year!

End of the Year Wrap Up: 2019 Edition

Oy!  I am not sure this blog is going to continue much longer or even past this End of the Year Wrap up.  Over the past several months, I'll have the idea to write about this or that, something or other the kids are going thru.  But before I know it, it has become a fleeting thought and my attention has been diverted to something else.

This blog was key to me surviving my kids' early years.  Motherhood is not for the faint of heart and mostly being a stay-at-home mom pushed me to the brink of insanity some days.  Having this medium as an outlet was therapeutic.  I was able to let it all out, move on and start with a clean slate the very next day, or sometimes the very next hour.  I believe journaling the good, the bad, and the ugly is how I survived and didn't run away.  Don't get me wrong, not every day was rough, but there were definitely some trying times. Let's be honest, these years become a blur and having it all written gives me a opportunity to see how far we've come and remember the fun, silly days, as well as the challenging ones.  Each phase comes and goes for good and bad; it's nice to go back and relive it from a distance, through my words.

Ian and Samantha have grown into these awesome people.  I am so proud of them!  And I love them more than I ever thought humanly possible. I get how parents can be helicopter parents or my new favorite term, lawn mower parenting (parents who try to remove and smooth obstacles).  I will do anything to keep Ian and Samantha from feeling defeated or have their feelings hurt.  I want so much for them to never know how cruel life can be or how mean-spirited people can get. Every day should be their best ever!  Have all these amazing experiences and go through life with rose colored glasses.  I fully realize how unrealistic this is and my job as a parent is to make sure they are prepared and can handle disappointment and failure.

There was a time, I'd go to bed at night, review my day in my head, and feel like the worst mother in the world.  Somewhere over the years, that mentality has shifted and I think this parenting gig is working out.  All the time invested, energy given, and hand holding has been worth it.  I find myself turning to writing this blog to vent and 'get it all out' less and less over the months.  Ian and Samantha are truly what I hoped and dreamed of when becoming a mother.  Their judgement is solid, they are empathetic, courageous, and go after what they want.  They are polite, conscientious, and very witty.  I love their sense of humor.  I no longer view time off from school as our 'dark period'.  I actually really enjoy planning activities the 3 of us will enjoy doing and getting to live these experiences through their eyes. They are always up for an adventure and will try anything once.  Can you ask for anything more?  I think not.

As I look back at 2019, I am content. Wow, what a great word to summarize how I feel.  Sure, there are so many things we need -- updates and renovations to the house, money to travel, money to put towards college savings, a new Acura MDX would be nice (Ha!), but none of that is a necessity.  Everything we truly need we have and then some.  We are in good health, have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and our kids are happy, caring, independent little people.  I have a blessed life and recognize how fortunate we are.


Travel this year:

January:  Robyn and Samantha in Orlando for 4 days
March:  Ian attends Ramah reunion in Palmer, Mass for 3 days
April:  Ian visits Max in PA for 4 days
April:  Spring Break in NYC for 3 days
June:  Robyn and Ian - theatre trip to NYC for 2 days
June:  Robyn in Orlando for 3 days
July:  Ian and Samantha in Orlando for 11 days
July:  Week at the beach, OC, NJ
July-August: Ian and Samantha at Camp Ramah for 4 weeks
July:  Robyn in MA and RI for 2 days
November:  Week in Orlando for Thanksgiving
December:  Weekend in NJ for family Hanukkah party
December:  Ian in NYC for 4 days


The biggest change in this past year has been Ian's activities.  He now takes anywhere from 4.5 hours to 6 hours of dance classes each week.  Boys Ballet, Broadway Tap, Musical Theatre, Partnering Ballet, or drop-in tap class keeps him (and us driving him) going back and forth multiple times a week to dance.  He has realized how important it is to know how to dance if he wants to make it in theatre.  It's fun to see him master a new step that has been giving him difficulty and then doing that step all the time at home. Or, when he gets in the car after picking him up and he chatters on non-stop about how well he just did.   Add the two plays Ian was performing in and it made for a very busy Fall.  Ian absolutely adores camp and wants to go for the whole summer. Oh my!  I can't even imagine him being gone for 8 weeks.  We have him registered and will try to make this a reality.  But oy, is it expensive!

Ian has taken the concept of going after what he wants to heart.  He wanted to do stand-up and found a way to make it happen at a local restaurant/bar.  He did a great job and plans to expand his routine and keep at it, performing at local places.  He has been writing scripts for short films and is circulating it around for feedback.  I read this latest one and I have to say, it's pretty darn good.  I love how focused Ian has become on his goals and has a plan to make it happen.  Ian ultimately wants to be hired to be on Saturday Night Live, and said to me the other day, "I hope I don't get too well known before getting to NY because you have to be an unknown to do SNL."   Um yeah, somehow I don't think this should be a concern.  Really, would getting discovered earlier than expected be a bad thing?  Ian needs to worry about other things.

Oh and there is that little matter of Ian auditioning for a short film and getting the part.  Last June Ian played Elliot, a blind, gay, Jewish middle schooler.  The short film will finish production by the end of December and be entered in film festivals around the country.  This was a very surreal experience and still a bit in awe of how it all came to be.  Ian's first paid acting gig!

Samantha is doing so much better at school. Her teacher for 6th grade is a dream come true and it makes going to school that much easier.  We've enlisted the help of a reading specialist and the progress Sam has made is fantastic.  She still enjoys horseback riding the most and is happy to do just this one activity.  Samantha loves camp and will go for 1 session this Summer.  She has yet to discover wanting to wear name brand clothing, or spend hours doing her hair.  I am just waiting for that to happen next year at middle school.   Sam is very happy wearing the same 4 purple t-shirts and black leggings.  She has a closet full of clothes and they just hang there, looking unloved.

Jeff's cooking and baking has soared to new heights.  He now has a kitchen aid mixer, a micro plane,  and other baking/cooking tools he felt necessary to help him achieve greatness. Jeff has a running list of baked goods he wants to make.  He most recently made blueberry and lemon scones with fresh clotted cream.  It's been fun to see him enjoy his new hobby.

I am still really enjoying my job at the preschool and this year added in Fridays too.  I am now there 5 days a week, for 3 hours a day.  As great as it is and as much as I enjoy it, I think its time to find a full-time job, starting in June.  Samantha will be out of elementary school and will be attending the same school as Ian.  Her hours for school starting will be much earlier and I'll be able to get to an office at a reasonable time. I have no idea what I want to do, but am keeping an open mind and going for it.  It's a little overwhelming to me the changes that will be occurring in our household, but I feel this is a necessary step. I am hoping that by starting in the summer, I will have a chance to get used to our new normal and by the time school starts, it won't be as hard of a transition.


The year ahead in 2020:

As we head in to 2020, here is something I NEVER thought I would write.  I am currently happy with my weight and the progress I have made towards losing.  For the first time in several years (too many to count), I've got a new attitude towards eating and feel this sense of control I didn't know I was capable of.  I am constantly faced with temptations, but after one bite, I am satisfied.  Or, maybe I don't even want that one bite. Wow, right?  Since October 1st, I've lost 21 pounds and I am finally seeing a difference now.  This is the best feeling. I wake up in the morning not scared to get on the scale, knowing I've done the best I could do the day before.  Maybe the number doesn't always go down, and shoots way up from time to time, but overall it is trending in the right direction.  I am following the weight watchers plan and know that I can incorporate this well into the future.  Don't get me wrong, I am far from perfect, but my head is in the game and its been a long time since I can say that.  Here is where the word "content" comes in to play once again.  :)

I want to find a full-time job that still gives me flexibility, so if I need a day off or a few extra hours to be with the kids, I can.  I am not sure what kind of job this will be, but that is my goal. Something with the hours 8:30am to 4:30pm, 10 minutes from my house would be awesome!  Maybe if I close my eyes real tight and wish & wish with all my might, it could happen.

I am so excited for Samantha to be graduating elementary school this year.  She now has braces on her teeth and looks like a real teenager.  Her growth this past year has been measurable.  She is tall, confident, and so lovely.  And I think she is finally appreciating me and all I do; at least I hope so.  :)

I'm head over heels in love with Jeff and how we operate as a team.  He has my back and I have his.  I never feel like I am in this parenting thing alone and appreciate all the support he continually gives. I've said it before and I'll say it again.  You can fall in love with the guy, but you won't know how he'll turn out to be a father until you are way thick in the weeds.  And that's where we are...deep in the weeds.  Jeff is the most amazing father.  One of his best qualities is that when he leaves the office, work gets left behind and he is 100% present being with the family.  I am not sure what this has to do with "The year ahead in 2020" but I do know we both appreciate how far our kids have come and what an honor it is to be their parents.  So maybe 2020 is that parenting is getting to be more rewarding after all the that we've been through to get to this point.


My New Year's Wish:

I wish for kindness.  Kindness to our selves, kindness to friends and family, and kindness to strangers.  If everyone made an effort to be kind, instead of being mean, full of judgement, selfish, or uncompassionate, think how much better the world would be.  We are all more alike than different.  May 2020 give us endless energy, better sleep, and the ability to make the better choice.  Happy New Year!

Date Night Extravaganza

We don't usually go out on New Year's Eve.  It's really not our scene to party or go crazy bringing in the new year.  Most years you can find us at our good friend's house having a very kid-friendly dinner and early countdown celebration.  That's typically more our speed.   However, this year we sprung for a babysitter (can't even remember the last time we had a babysitter!) and went out.  

I loved our evening.  We had an early dinner with another couple, followed with a comedy show at 7:00pm.  Jeff and I had seen this comedian a few years ago and thought he was hilarious.  He was going to do a New Year's Eve show just down the road from where we live.  How perfect!  For some reason Jeff didn't remember seeing him the first time despite all the details I was able to give him about our evening.  This is very strange to me because usually Jeff has an amazing memory -- like an elephant.   After the comedy show, we hit the road and went to the new MGM Grand hotel and casino at National Harbor.   Despite it being a Saturday night, New Year's Eve, very newly opened (only 3 weeks) and the new "IT" thing, we easily found parking and had no huge crowds to deal with.  We briefly played a bit in the casino, walked around the hotel and got some yummy dessert.  I have to say SJP's shoe store is gorgeous and beautifully displayed.  If you like shoes, this is one place worth checking out.  

It was a great night!  I am glad we had this time together, because hours after, Sam got sick and we were grounded at home.  

Oh yeah, right after the lights came up at the comedy club, Jeff leans over to me and says, "I think we saw this guy before."   Seriously???   I told him 3 different times we had.