Believe

Hello my old friend,

Yes, I am back once again.  Surely, you remember me.  I always look the same when I come to you again and again, so many  times over the years.

Then, just when I am feeling amazing, incredibly proud of myself, so close to the goal, I desert you.  It's sad, really, when I am on top of the world, and feel like I've got this, I say good-bye and don't look back.  I mistakenly believe I can do this on my own and don't need you anymore.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

It took me no time at all to gain back the 44 pounds I lost.  The downward spiral of weight gain swirled faster and faster.  Once the marathon was behind me and the crazy mileage I was logging training each week ended, the pounds caught up fast.  Faster than I hoped.  I am pretty sure I instantly jumped 4 clothing sizes in a blink of an eye.  Oy.

Last week, I had it.  I became so disgusted with myself and realized how very much I still need you by my side.  So here I am, ready to give it a go.  Get back in the saddle and back in control.  I have a long list of reasons why it is important that I do this.  I've had time to reflect and figure out why I can't fail again.  The top of my list is the kids.  I want to be healthy for them.  I want to have energy and be able to keep up.  I want to set a great example of what healthy eating looks like.  A close second is how I feel.  I want to be excited to wake-up each day and put on size 6 clothing knowing there is wiggle room and I am not busting out of them, cringing at myself in the mirror.  I like feeling the power over what I am eating and not the other way around.  I sleep better at night feeling good about my day and knowing I didn't go crazy with junk food.  And lastly, there's Jeff, my biggest source of support.  He jokes that he will always love me as long as I can fit through a door.  However, I don't want to test this theory and take pride in myself that I am weighing less now than I did when we got married. 

I have goals in mind.  It's funny, each time I start-up again, I quickly start doing the math.  Well if I lose 5 pounds a month (this is a realistic number to work with), how many months until I am back to my lowest weight?  What will be going on at that time of the year?  Is there some event I can work towards?  I am trying hard to not fall back into the same old traps.  I want my weight loss to stick this time!  Darn it, I will be successful.  So far, I've done a few things so unlike me.  The old me would be aghast at how different  I am proceeding down this familiar journey.  I am not weighing myself at home.  Really.  I figure that if I stay away from the scale, I will only concentrate on tracking what I eat and keeping count of the points.  I won't start playing the mind games, well the scale is already showing a 1 pound loss for the week, so I can slip a bit today.  Or, the scale is not showing any kind of loss yet, so I will make sure to go crazy with exercise.  The other healthier thing I am doing is not getting caught up in the semantics of weighing-in.  I haven't yet figured out the best day for me to go weigh-in each week.  I just know I need to make it in there at least once.  Whether I am a day or two short or a few days extra between my weeks, I am sticking to the plan and doing it.  And I am not getting all freaky about wearing the same exact outfit each week for weigh-in.  This time around does sound mentally healthier and a better balance, right?

So my friend, I know you believe in me because every time I turn around there is Jennifer Hudson singing that song on the commercial.  Now I need to believe in me.  I know I need to do this.  I am glad I started.  I don't want another 6 months to go by and not have done something.  Something good. 

Love,
Making-the-most-of-who-I-know-I-can-be-Robyn

Summer 2012

We have less than 2 months to go and school will be out for the summer. Actually, due to the lack of snow days this current school year, FCPS voted to get out 2 days early. I am actually ok with this and very much looking forward to the summer with the kids. We have some fun plans in the works.

I hope I've achieved a good mix of camps, quality time with the grandparents, some day trips, a few weeks away in FL and a trip or two to the beach. Plus, a good amount of down time with nothing at all scheduled, but hanging out at the pool or hitting the local movie theatre and bowling alley.

The kids are on board with all the plans, but the highlight for me this summer will be when I tell them we are making a return trip to Great Wolf Lodge. Jeff and I are keeping this a surprise and we will let them know the night before, when we are eating dinner. Oh, what fun it will be to spring this on them! We are meeting up with some friends and it should be a good trip. Sam is one year older now and will be able to do more at the waterpark. Plus, the outdoor area should be open for us to play and swim in.

I am very optimistic about the summer. As the kids gets older, each year it becomes more fun to plan things for us to do. Let's see how long I make it before I am counting down to when school starts again. :)

The gentlemanly thing to do.

Sam and Ian have a bit of a competition going on between them.  They are taking delight in seeing who can go to Panera Bread for lunch more times without the other one being there.  It's funny that this is what they are bickering over.   When we pick Ian up from school, before he can even close his car door, Sam will say to her brother, "I went to Panera Bread for lunch and you didn't"   You can imagine how this makes Ian feel and thus the need to even the score on the rare occasion Sam has school and Ian doesn't. 

After Sam's appointment with the latest doctor, we found ourselves in Herndon, at lunch time, with a Panera Bread within walking distance.  Sam saw this Panera Bread from the parking lot and it was a no-brainer where we were headed after the appointment.  We walked in at the height of the lunch rush and took our place in line.  The line, incidentally, was about 35 people deep and went out the door.  Yowzer!  Sam and I were the ONLY ONES not wearing a business suit.  We were the ONLY MOTHER/CHILD combo.  Every single person (other than us) in the crazy-packed Panera Bread was a working professional.  Sam did great waiting in line with me and fortunately, it was only about 10 minutes before we made our way to the front.  The guy next up in line, saw the wave from the employee that he could go up and order, turned around and said to me, go on ahead.  We should take his place in line and be just a little closer to getting our food.  He was helping out a mom with a young child and did the gentlemanly thing.  It was very refreshing!

Unlike close to 3 years ago, when we had a group of about 5 moms and 12 young kids (all age 5 yrs and younger) eating at a Panera Bread, right after blueberry picking.  We got lucky and found a bank of empty tables that were all next to each other. This would allow our whole group to sit together and eat lunch.  It was perfect with the exception of one lone guy sitting at the end of one of the tables.  There were other tables available at Panera Bread.  You would think that this guy would've gotten a clue and offered to move to a different table.  But no, he literally sat there while our group of moms and kids crowded together, practically sitting in each other's laps, so this guy could have his 4 top all to himself.  It was really something else to see him just sit there and continue to eat.

In both situations, I think back to the men in my life and wonder what they would've done.  Without hesitation, I can tell you that my dad would have not only given up his place in line for a mom and her small child, but without any prompting he would've moved his food and himself to a nearby available table.  That's just the way he is.  No need to even ask if this would be his inclination to do.

However, after both experiences, I came home and posed the same situations to Jeff and asked him what he would've done.  I know that deep down Jeff has it in him to do the right thing.  However, it would probably take that person asking him and suggesting it first.  Jeff can be a bit oblivious (he'll admit this himself). He has a huge heart and would do what he can to help others. I know this and have seen him in action.  I only hope that we are raising a son with the same kindness instincts.

Sam meets her match!

Our first appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician was just Jeff and I filling the doctor in on everything going on with Sam.  We were able to sum up all her issues and give a detailed history within 1.5 hours.   Exactly one week later, it was Sam's turn to meet with the doctor.

The doctor introducing herself:

Dr P. :  Hi Samantha, how are you?

Sam:  I'm bored.

Ha! Ha!  Sam totally showed what she was about in just one hour.  After 30 minutes of "playing" with the doctor, she announced "I'm done.  I'm ready to go home now."  Sam was her ultimate herself.  She gave her classic answers to all of Dr. P's questions:  "No.", "Nothing!", and let's not forget, "Never." 

Dr. P. was able to charm Sam and get her to cooperate.  Fortunately, Dr. P. could see how bright Sam is, articulate with a strong vocabulary, playful, and has quite an imagination.  All good things.

The diagnosis came back.  It's official, among other things, Dr. P, wrote, "Although she enjoys interaction, she also seems to take delight in challenge and presenting challenges to others."  Ah, yes! 

Dr. P. confirmed that we are doing everything we should and to continue seeing the pediatrician gastroenterologist and the therapist to work on Sam's withholding issues.  Its going to take a very long time to correct this behavior, but it feels good to be moving in the right direction. 

Stick a fork in me (and Sam for that matter), we are done running around all over town getting poked and prodded looking for whatever is causing her challenging and difficult behavior.  Every since Sam started pooping regularly (albeit with the help of chocolate ex-lax), her temperament has done a 180 degree turn.  She is a joy to be around and loves showering us in kisses and hugs.  It's like the demon possessing Sam moved out.

Everyone who has older kids, says this is the easy time and just wait, it's when they are teenagers that parenting presents real challenges.  I really think Jeff and I have been broken in and warmed up to tackle the teenage years.  When its time, I'll be ready!

Juice no more

The kids' juice consumption was increasing greatly.  We had always been cutting the juice with water, but over the years, the full-strength juice that comes in juice boxes, capri-suns and when we are at restaurants/friend's houses was getting a little out of control.

I just got done reading the book "Scared to Poop" and was inspired to give up juice COMPLETELY(!) in our house. Drinking plain water is very beneficial for the digestive system.  The more water you can drink in your day, will help your body in functioning properly.

I told Jeff my plan and he was a bit skeptical it would work.  The kids have grown very accustomed to juice throughout their day.  I decided to come up with some ground rules.

-We will only start this after the kids have consumed all the juice we've already purchased.  UNFORTUNATELY, we had just stocked up on a sale and had 3 big bottles of white grape juice.  Plus, we had an assortment of juice boxes and Capri-suns in the fridge.  FORTUNATELY, this gave us plenty of time to warn the kids what was coming.  Literally for weeks, every time I gave one of them a drink of juice, I'd preface it with "As soon as we are done with this, it's only going to be water from now on."

-The kids will continue to have their milk/smoothies in the morning and can have another one right before bed, but that's it.  We are not replacing juice with chocolate milk or smoothies.  No sirree! 

-When we are at a friend's house or restaurant, anything goes!  The kids will be allowed to have juice (full strength!)  if they want.  It will be a special treat and it still stays out of the house.

We've been officially out of juice now for close to 4 days.  I have to say, it has been the easiest transition ever.  All the warning I gave the kids paid off.  On Friday morning when Sam said she was thirsty, I handed her a cup of water and she said, "Oh, I like water now."  Whew, that could've so easily gone the other way.  I had sort of envisioned a drink stand-off and Sam not drinking anything all day until it was time for bed, when she can have a smoothie.

Score one for Mommy!  And of course, score one for Daddy too and helping to reinforce this.  These are good habits we are getting the kids in to that will hopefully stay with them their whole lives.

My work here is done.  Well, not quite.  But it feels good to come out on top for this idea.

Passover Perfect

We are currently ending the holiday of Passover.  It has gone swimmingly well this year.  I reflect back to the wonderful Passover Seders with my family growing up and hope that similar fond memories will be created and live within my kids.

We were fortunate to be invited to a friend's Seder the first night and to go to my in-laws for a Seder the 2nd night.  Both were incredibly special in their own ways. 

I loved so many aspects of Passover this year and will do my best to capture a few of the highlights in a top 10 list.  (Jeff - I write this, paying homage to you and your infamous top 10 lists).

Top 10 Things I Loved About Passover This Year:
(in no particular order)

10.  Knowing my dad got out of the hospital just in the nick of time go to my sister's for Passover Seder at her house.  My dad was hospitalized due to a staph infection and it was not certain when he'd be able to get released.  Come to think of it, knowing him, he may have escaped and not actually got discharged.

9.  Watching Ian and Sam partake in the Seders.  Both kids did an excellent job sitting through the service before we got to the food part.  I am very proud of them. 

8.  Since I am gluten-free, it's relatively easy to keep Passover.  I'm already not eating regular bread and pasta.  The supply of baked goodies that are gluten-free AND kosher for passover are through the roof!  It gets better and better each year.

7. Doing the 2nd night of Passover at my in-laws and spending the night. Since it was Saturday, we didn't have to rush home afterwards.  It was great getting to spend some extra time and not watch the clock on making it home in time to get the kids down.

6. Being with our friends on Friday night and watching the kids at the table.  It was truly wonderful to see how much these kids have grown and celebrate this important Jewish holiday together. Given that there are very few Jewish kids in Ian's class at school, I love that they have each other. 

5. Watching Ian be open enough to try gefilte fish for the first time and enjoying it.  He ate a whole serving of fish both nights. 

4. Listening to Ian read the Four Questions.  It was really wonderful to see how far his reading has come.  There is no way he was capable of doing this just one year ago.

3. One of the most entertaining Sedars I get to participate in has been adopted by Jeff's parents.  It is a very family-friendly version of the haggadah.  90% of the Seder is telling the story through song parodies.  We always have great fun year after year singing classic tunes of "Gilligan's Island", "I've been working on the railroad", the "Twelve days of Christmas", and more; all with the words changed to tie it in to the Passover Seder.

2. The availability of Gluten-free matzoh.  Yay to Whole Foods for carrying this item and having plenty in stock.

1. The most awesome scavenger hunt my friend created for the 8 kids to partake in to find the Afikomen.  Or, was it just a wild goose chase that led to anything but the Afikomen?  Each of the clues were tailored to the kids' personalities perfectly.  It was truly unique and the kids loved it.

Sam's Clue:  Sam, you remind of us all that princesses have to offer.  You are Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White.  Go find clue #4.  (The clue was in the dress-up clothing box).

Ian's Clue: Ian, your wise and smart and would never need to use one of these to do any math problems because you are a math genius.  Go find clue #7.  (The clue was under a calculator).

Passover Perfect.  :)

Most. Productive. Day. Ever.

Friday, March 30th:
Awake at 5:30am, took shower, got dressed

Made blueberry muffins, packed Ian's lunch, put Sam's wash in the washing machine.

Gave the kids breakfast, got Sam dressed

Put Sam's wash in the dryer, put Ian's in the washer

Right before leaving the house, got Ian's clothes put in the dryer

Got the kids to school:  Ian by 9:00am, Sam by 9:30am

I had to be back to Sam's school by 11:30am for a special Passover Sedar program.  In the 2 hours I had kid-free, I got the following done:

-Whole Foods - to stock up on GF matzo
-Our place nearby where we go for swim lessons to sign the kids up for the next session
-Kohls - to do an exchange/return and spend the $50 in Kohls cash we had
-Target - fastest time ever spending $150, stuck to the list and found all 10 items in 10 minutes!

Made it to Sam's school by 11:30am!

Left Sam's school at 12:40pm.  Met Kelly for lunch (with Sam) at 1:00pm at Chipotle.
1:50pm - went to the liquor store nearby to get the ingredients needed for a sangria I was making Saturday night.
2:00pm to 3:10pm - grocery shopping with Sam (all 3 pages!)
3:15 to 3:40pm - put groceries away at home
3:45pm - picked Ian up from school
4:00pm to 4:45pm - took kids to Dairy Queen for ice cream

6:00pm - fed kids dinner  (Jeff was out till midnight with a baseball fantasy draft event).

Ordered item at Best Buy.com for pick-up on Saturday at their store, put another order on Amazon.

6:30pm - folded and put away Sam and Ian's clothes

7:00pm - vacuumed and mopped the floors

8:00pm - put Sam down to bed

8:30pm - cleaned the bathrooms, put Ian down to bed, dusted all surfaces

11:00pm - researched for best pricing and booked all our plane tickets needed for FL this summer- me to get the kids, the kids & I to come back together.

11:30pm - read the whole book, "Scared to Poop"

12:45am - went to sleep.