Heard and Observed #52

Early one morning before school, Ian and Sam are in the middle of a fight. 

Ian:  Do you know why Mom and Dad got me the XBOX?  DO YOU!?!?!?!  I'll tell you why, to make up for YOU driving me crazy for 6 years!!!!

Sam:  6 1/2 years.


I love how Sam doesn't even try to reason with Ian, but instead corrects him with how long its actually been. 

**********************************************************************

Puppy please.

One of the families in the preschool I work at recently got a German Shepherd.  The mom has brought the four month old puppy into the school on a few occasions at pick-up time.  I got to meet Ike the other day.  Those who know me, know I have a soft spot for German Shepherds. 

As I was petting this dog, I started tearing up.  My eyes were watering over missing Bailey and over currently not having a dog in my life.  Growing up, we always had dogs.  Sometimes more than one at a time.  As soon as I graduated college and could support a four-legged friend, I got one. I always thought I would have one in my life. And I always thought my kids would grow up with dogs too. 

Bailey was with me when I met Jeff.  Jeff loved Bailey as much as I did.  I know he did.  I don't question that.  I also know Jeff loves me very much.  Again, I don't question that either.  It was hard for all of us when we lost Bailey 5 years ago.  Sam was just about to turn 2 years old. 

The kids and I very much want another dog in our lives. We talk about it all the time. We toss around names we'd give a puppy.  Late at night I've started looking online at German Shepherd rescue websites and local German Shepherd breeders.  I found this one rescue dog who was described as "Spunky".  Apparently he needed to have emergency spleen surgery.  Within 36 hours of the surgery being over, this little guy who I am presuming is still in foster care, pulled out his own catheter and escaped his crate.  Yeah, I don't think that's one for us. 

With all the snow we've been getting, I frequently think about how much Bailey loved the snow.  I think about showing a puppy snow for the first time.  Or, taking it to the park or on long walks. 

Unfortunately Jeff isn't ready yet to jump back into making our family of 4, now 5.  There are many reasons he gives; not enough income to support one and any medical issues/extra costs that may come with a dog, too noisy in our already small house, shedding is an issue, etc. I could go on and on.  Jeff doesn't lack reasons why a dog is a bad idea.  And its not just a German Shepherd that would be an issue.  He would have a problem even with a toy, non-shedding breed that doesn't bark.

I feel very strongly that we can make it work.  In fact, if not now, then when?  Why do we work as hard as we do, if we can't do things that will make us happy?  Life is too fragile and it can all end tomorrow. The last thing I want is another 5 years to go by and realize we still haven't enriched our lives to amazing depths I know a dog would give us.

The kids know I want a dog as much as they do.  But they don't know just how deep this feeling goes.  I am pretty sure Jeff does though. 

I want to respect Jeff's wishes and be okay waiting until he is ready, but I don't see any end in sight.  It's frustrating.   There is a big part of me that wants to bring home a dog and just deal with the consequences.  That's not right, is it?  I wish it didn't have to be all or nothing.  There is no compromise to this problem.  When Jeff gets his way, I don't get something I always thought I would have be a part of my life.  And if I get my way, Jeff could make living with him very ugly; which of course, I don't want.  I actually like being married and don't want to jeopardize that.

It's more than just bringing a dog home and hoping for the best, I want this to be Jeff's idea too.  I want him to say, "Hey, I think getting a dog is just what we need.  Let's start the process now because it won't happen overnight.  I am 100% in for the craziness, noise, mess, and love a dog will bring to our lives.  I can't believe I haven't been ready before, but I am now.  Let's do it!"   Ok, so maybe that is a little over-the-top for Jeff to ever say, but you get the idea. 

I've waited 5 years, I guess I'll be waiting even longer. 

Binge watching.

I love binge watching television.  It's a wonderful way to spend 13 hours.  Netflix recently released Season 3 of House of Cards.  I was drooling at the thought of this show releasing more episodes.  They were posted on Friday, February 27th.  Of course, this would be the Friday that I volunteer in Ian's class from 12:30pm to 3:45pm.  OMG!  I could've watched 3 episodes during that time!  Having a full Saturday and a busy Sunday with all of our usual running around kept me from watching season 3 as fast as I would've liked.  But I persevered and stayed up late watching and woke up early to keep watching.  By 11:30pm on Sunday night, I did it!  I managed to squeeze in 13 awesome episodes. 

Is there anything more delicious than having extremely high expectations on how great something is going to be and then having those expectations met and then some?  That's House of Cards.  Specifically, that was House of Cards season 2.  And now I can say that was House of Cards season 3 too.   Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright are absolutely brilliant.  The casting, script, storylines and acting is phenomenal.  I just can't get enough of it. 

Just like after finishing my binge watching of the first four seasons of Breaking Bad, having to wait for new episodes to be created is challenging. It almost makes me wish that I watch these shows at a slower pace and savor each & every one.  It's way too tempting to plow through and see what happens.  It gets the better of me and I will happily stay up for most of the night getting my fix.

Good thing I am not alone in my binge watching. The more of us there are, the more likely Netflix will keep this good thing going.

Best playdates EVER.

"There are some friends you know you'll have for the rest of your life. You're welded together by love, memories, trust, and respect."-anonymous

My kids are very fortunate to have these amazing friendships.  The kids I am specifically talking about have been in their lives since Ian was 2 years old and before Sam was even born.  It is a beautiful thing to watch them grow up together.  They don't go to the same elementary school, but we do see them regularly through religious school, various events/holidays and the many days we've had off from school. 

It's the kind of friends that I know I can call, text or email at the very last minute and arrange some much needed playdates or sleepovers.  Likewise, the friendships are reciprocal and I welcome their kids into our homes and lives whenever it is desired.  It has become a semi-regular thing to ask for sleepovers because plans have been made that might otherwise require a babysitter. 

In the past week, we had one of Sam's friends over who came with us to Baltimore for the Hamentaschen baking, spent the night and then accompanied us to the Purim Carnival at our synagogue the next morning.  It is not an exaggeration to say that having 1 more kid is like having 2 less. Ruby and Sam did beautifully together.  Not once did we hear Sam say, "I am bored".  Not once did Sam whine, scream, meltdown or be demanding.  It was refreshing they had each other to keep entertained. In a heartbeat I would have Ruby over again.  What a dream it was having these girls together for all that time.

With all the snow days we've been experiencing, the best thing ever is when a text comes and asks what are you up to?  It's a wonderful thing to fill that unexpected free day with good friends.  On one of our most recent snow days (this past Monday), we met up with Susanne and her kids for lunch at a nearby restaurant.  Afterwards, I took 2 of her 3 kids and had them play at our house while she put in a few hours of work at her office nearby.  For close to 5 hours, the four kids (2 of hers, 2 of mine) were in Ian's room (the smallest room in the house!) and played Minecraft on their iPads, all creating the same town being connected through our wifi.  5 hours!  The kids didn't come out of Ian's room for 5 hours!!  They played harmoniously together.   I'd check on them periodically and ask if they needed a drink or snack.   Nope, they were good to go and just wanted to keep playing.  Crazy!

Having Susanne's kids at my house was just the thing I needed to survive yet another day off from school.  First thing the same exact morning, Ian and Sam woke up ready for battle.  It didn't take long from when I told them there was no school today (due to all the ice) to non-stop fighting.  By 7:50am I had them go to separate rooms.   Thank G-d for friends to come through and help the make the time go by faster.  Peace may not be in the Middle East, but it certainly was in our house.

"Best friends make the good times better and the hard times easier." ~Author Unknown

Can we adopt all of them, please?

At the Purim Carnival.  Come dressed in your pajamas!

These were the 4 kids in Ian's room for 5 hours! 
All on iPads playing Minecraft.

It's time for Hamentaschen!

The snow, ice or cold couldn't keep us away.  Matthew's basketball games couldn't keep us away.  Jeff's crazy schedule of conference calls over the weekend couldn't keep us away.  And, House of Cards streaming season 3 on Netflix couldn't keep us away.  Nope, nothing, nada, zilch, zip, zero was going to stop this crew.

It was time to come together and honor a very important Toppall tradition....baking Hamentaschen!

Since Elaine was 2 years old, baking those awesome triangle shaped cookies has been an annual event with Jeff's family.  I married into it and Sam & Ian were born into the tradition.

Each year, the group gets better and better at baking.  It's crazy how we all take our places and within an hour, we've churned out over 130 cookies.  This year we mixed it up a bit and in addition to the fruit fillings (apple, pineapple, raspberry,and strawberry), we also made chocolate filled hamentaschen.   The chocolate was inspired by Ian who made a special call to Grandma to ask her. 

We had a special guest join us this year.  Sam's friend was spending the night and it just made sense to bring her to Baltimore with us.  She had never made Hamentaschen before, but caught on quickly.  By the time we were done, Ruby was an expert too. 

I do think chocolate was the favorite!  As soon as they came out of the oven, everyone grabbed the chocolate ones first.  We will have to make even more next year.  Between neighbors, friends, and ourselves, the cookies go fast!  It's a good thing we can count on making these each year.  It's a fun day that everyone looks forward to.

Rocking Colonial Day.

The schools in Northern Virginia do something really cool during the kids' 4th grade year.  During the school year, the students study in-depth Virginia's history. A special day is devoted to Colonial Day.  The kids are encouraged to dress-up from the era and spend the school day absorbing all things straight from the 1600's. 

I knew Colonial Day was approaching because we received information from the school on how the kids should dress.  There was also a sign-up genius created to volunteer and help out with the festivities.  What I didn't know was that for months Ian was learning the dance The Virginia Reel and was assigned a classmate to do the dance with.  Ian kept very quiet about this.  And here I thought Ian told me everything!  

I recorded the dance and have uploaded part of it here.  It is too cute watching Ian dance.  All the kids did a great job. 

 

 

After the dance was over, the kids rotated through each of their four classrooms and had something special waiting for them.  One classroom had the kids making crafts that were indicative of Colonial times.  Another room taught the kids manners and how to do tea.  A third room gave them a unique Colonial experience and demonstration.  And the fourth room was set-up with games that kids would've played during the Colonial times.  

Ian drinking tea!

I love our school system.  They do a great job making learning fun and have it come alive for the kids. 

Dropping Crazy.

For the last week of January and the first 3 weeks of February, The Crazy Man took his annual Winter trip to warmer climates.  This go-around had him on an 11 night cruise to the Panama Canal and 3 weeks in Boca Raton, FL.    

Due to much conflict with The Crazy Man’s girlfriend, the whole trip even happening was touch-n-go.  From the planning to the booking of the cruise to even communicating when the plane took off, The Crazy Man kept calling it off.  His threshold for dealing with the girlfriend is at an all-time low.   All of this drama added to the usual hysteria of getting him ready for travel.  The Crazy Man had me counting down the minutes until it was time for the plane to take off.   My fingers and toes were crossed he’d be on the plane.
 

Fortunately for me, the trip did occur.  And other than hearing from him 1 day after he left to help him get a new hearing aid replaced that he lost for his left ear, his time away from me was very peaceful.  I loved not hearing from him.  I loved my afternoons after finishing work at the preschool being free until the kids got out of school. 

When The Crazy Man returned home and I went back to working for him, I realized just how bad he is.  He is CRAZY!  I mean, really crazy!!  He means well, but I don’t think I can put up with it anymore.  

I want to quit.  I don’t think I can.  I’ve worked for him over 3 years.  I do a great job and I am not sure anyone else is going to be able to pick up where I left off.  He is 77 years old and he is losing the sharpness he once had.  I can remember places, people, tests, phone numbers, etc from years back.  No one, no matter how competent they are, is going to have this history.  One of the things that makes me as successful as I am assisting him is my memory.  I can recall so much.   Furthermore, all these doctor offices’ nurses, receptionists, office managers, technicians, pharmacists know me.  I don’t even have to identify myself anymore, let alone get The Crazy Man to tell them they have permission to talk to me.   This didn’t happen overnight.  It would take months for a new person to build up to this kind of access; that’s saying a new person would last that long.  The Crazy Man wouldn’t have patience to break someone else in and he doesn’t do well with stupidity.  

I look out for The Crazy Man’s best interests. The last assistant he had took advantage of all the access she had and stole tens of thousands of dollars from him.  It would probably still be going on if she hadn’t ended up in jail with a DUI.  It was only then that he opened his own mail and saw the bank and credit card statements.  

My quitting would be devastating.  I am not sure he would recover. I know how much relies on me.  I don’t know what to do.   On one hand, he is 77.  So how much more time would I actually have if I stuck it out?    But on the other hand, it’s not my problem.  If I want to quit, I should be able to quit and not feel bad about it.    We are employer/employee; nothing more.  It’s not like he is a family member and I am abandoning him. 

I’ve gotten close to quitting.  This past week, he received a new Marriott/Chase branded credit card.  He wanted me to call Chase and find out why the card they sent him was a different color than the one in his wallet.  The Crazy Man wanted to verify that all his benefits/rewards will remain the same.   Long story short, all Chase did was send The Crazy Man a new credit card for his expiring one.  No biggie, right?  Apparently somewhere along the way, he was told he would never have an annual fee for this card.  And, you guessed it, he has been paying a fee each and every year.  The Crazy Man goes off the deep end and now the letter writing campaign begins in full-force.  A letter is getting written to the President of Marriot and the President of Chase.  And for good measure, let’s contact Channel 7 On Your Side.   He is sure they’d like to hear about this act of injustice.  

As soon as The Crazy Man said the words “Channel 7 On Your Side…” I looked at him and said, “I’m done.  I can’t do this anymore.”   When The Crazy Man asked why, I replied with “Channel 7 On Your Side doesn’t care about this.  This is a wild goose chase.  I can’t do it anymore.”  

The Crazy Man quickly tossed aside the idea to contact the news media and said we didn’t need to worry about them.  Oh goody!    The Crazy Man deserves to have someone working for him who doesn’t mind contacting everyone under the sun.   He deserves to have someone who doesn’t get so excited at the thought of him leaving town.  Or someone who isn’t counting down to how many years he may have left.   It just can’t be me anymore.

So I’ve been gathering all his 2014 tax forms (banking, mortgage, investment accounts, prescription medication costs, charitable donations, etc) to send to his accountant.   After The Crazy Man returned from being gone for a month, he went through all this mail (A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT!) and I knew all the forms I’d need would be somewhere in this pile.  After a reasonable amount of time, I asked The Crazy Man if he came across any of the tax forms I needed.  His answer?  “I made two piles, one stack with all the important stuff and one stack that could get thrown away.  I think the maid threw everything away.”  UGH!!  Let me say that again, UGH!!  So now I am contacting all these places and seeing if they have the tax forms online that I can print.  Some do have it easy to find on their websites and others don’t.  Some have it that it can be printed out and some need to put it in the mail.  What a mess!   Oh, and the clock is ticking!  We are about to enter the month of March.  The accountant needs to have everything by March 25^th to avoid having to file for an extension.   Lastly, and this is huge, I have to hope that when some of these forms come in the mail (for the 2^nd time!), they actually make it to me and doesn’t get lost or thrown away.  

My dream is to get The Crazy Man through tax season and then quit.  Maybe I will tell him that I will stay to April. In the meantime we can look for someone to replace me and I can help train them.  A month’s notice is plenty of time, right?   Ugh. I just don’t know if I can go through with it.  I am genuinely worried about what will become of him.