Heard and Observed #58

The other morning Sam and I were watching The Today Show before school.  The anchors were killing time and doing a fun of exercise of answering what they thought was the more acceptable way to handle a situation -- call or text?

For example....if you need to apologize to someone.....should you call or text?    Break up with someone..... call or text?   RSVP to a party....call or text?   And so on.   Each of the anchors are giving their opinions.

Then we come to this one....Cancel plans with someone?  Call or text?   Before we even hear what Matt, Savannah, Al, Sheinelle, and Harry Connick, Jr (he was a guest that morning) think, Sam speaks up and gives her opinion:

Sam:  Text for sure because you don't want them to hear you lie.  

Ha!  The strange thing about this is, I NEVER cancel on anyone, neither does Jeff.  So I am not sure where she got the idea that you should lie to get out of doing something.  But I do find it very funny.

Heard and Observed #57

Something happened a few weeks ago that I desperately wish I had kept my big mouth shut until I got my camera and took a picture.  But nooooooooooooooooooo, I had to say something and ruin a perfectly good Kodak moment.  One of those pictures that you would look back on for years and still get a good chuckle.

Here's what I missed out taking a picture of and can only describe to the best of my ability:  During a recent Saturday morning, we were getting ready to go to services at our synagogue. Ian came downstairs wearing his dress shirt inside-out.  Now, he regularly puts on his t-shirts backwards and doesn't realize it.  We are used to this and for some reason, it happens more than not.  But this particular shirt Ian put on inside-out was an amazing act of indifference and obliviousness on his part.  Why?  Because he somehow managed to button all the buttons going down the front of the shirt!  Crazy, right?  This is where a picture would be worth a 1,000 words. 

How in the world was he able to button his shirt like that??   Jeff and I each first saw Ian dressed at the same time. Jeff immediately went over to Ian to help fix his collar, which was all tucked in.  I instantly looked at Ian and made a comment questioning why the strip of material that has the buttons down the front wasn't laying flat.  Once we realized what Ian had done, we burst out laughing.  I tried to get to my camera, but wasn't fast enough before Ian ran back up stairs to correct his shirt.

It was the most bizarre looking thing you'd ever seen.  Next time (I'm sure there will be one!  Ian is only 10 years old), I will have learned my lesson and go for the camera first.

Heard and Observed #56

Last Thursday was a snow day and school was cancelled.  I had told The Crazy Man I would work for him for a very small amount of time (1.5 hours) and I would need to bring Sam with me.  As he is getting ready for a big trip, he appreciated any amount of time I could give him. 

I set Sam up with her iPad and logged her into The Crazy Man's wifi.  She was watching The Disney Channel and had her headphones on. 

The Crazy Man comes into my office and says to her:

"Happy New Year, you sweet thing."

Sam:  ...........(dead silence).

Me:  "Crazy man, she can't hear you.  Sam has headphones on."

Sam:  "No, I can hear him."

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Heard and Observed #55

While we were driving to D.C. to see the monuments (about a 25 minute drive), the boys started a conversation on the stories they each heard from their grandparents on what life was like for them growing up.  My mom is Ian's grandmother and Max's grandfather is my mom's brother.  It was very sweet listening to the boys go back and forth describing what life was like for Mom-Mom (Ian's grandmother) and Poppy (Max's grandfather) as children, until they came to a conflicting part of the story and Max & Ian were no longer on the same page.

Ian:  You know we can't really believe everything they say.  This is like 60 years ago for these people.

Hahaha!  I LOVED listening to the boys speak.  You just don't realize the impact it made on them to hear these stories.  Ian had been hanging on every word that his Mom-mom has told him over the years, just like Max was hanging on every word that his Poppy told him.  You could hear my mom's voice and my uncle's voice come thru the boys as they spoke.  So. Very. Cool.  This is what family is all about.

It's a lot of work to get our visits coordinated (the boys have VERY different school schedules), not to mention the drive up and back to Cherry Hill, NJ.  But its worth it.  My side of the family does not live close by and its very important to me that my kids have a relationship with their relatives.

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Later that night, as we are driving in the car listening to an oldies station, I'd say to the kids, "Who can tell me who is singing?"

Ian:  Cyndi Lauper
Max: Madonna
Sam:  Pink!  (hahaha, I guess this qualifies as an "oldies" person for her)

Me:  Nope, you're all wrong.  It's Michael Jackson.

Ian:  You mean that's a guy???

Me:  Yes.

Max:  I don't mean to be rude, but that guy sounds like a girl.

hahahahahah!!  After that, every time I asked them who was singing the next song, they would always throw in Michael Jackson's name, even when it was clearly a female voice.  The kids were so confused.  How funny!

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Heard and Observed #54

Sam in the shower:   Daddy!  Daddy!  Daddy!!  There is no hot water anymore.  Is mom running the dishwasher and doing the laundry??

Jeff:  No, she is not running anything.

Jeff then turns his attention to Ian:  Ian, when you were in the bathroom, did you take a shower or a bath?

Ian:  Both.

Hahahaha!  We had no idea that Ian was in the bathroom for such a long time that he drained all of the hot water from the hot water heater.  Given that our new hot water heater was installed at the end of May, it had to be for a ridiculously long time.   Oh my!

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Heard and Observed #53

Driving in the car:

Sam sneezes.

Ian says, "Bless you"

Sam replies with:  "Ian, you talk to much."

How sweet is my daughter?  ;)

Me:  "Sam, when someone says Bless you, the proper response is thank you."

Sam:  "But its true, he talks too much."


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Heard and Observed #52

Early one morning before school, Ian and Sam are in the middle of a fight. 

Ian:  Do you know why Mom and Dad got me the XBOX?  DO YOU!?!?!?!  I'll tell you why, to make up for YOU driving me crazy for 6 years!!!!

Sam:  6 1/2 years.


I love how Sam doesn't even try to reason with Ian, but instead corrects him with how long its actually been. 

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Heard and Observed #51

Sam and I made a stop at the post office on December 23rd.  We get to the counter and the following conversation happens:

Postman (looking at Sam):  Are you excited for Christmas?

Sam, not really sure how to answers, stays silent.

Me:  We are Jewish and don't celebrate Christmas.

Now the postman is silent and not sure what to say.  I purchase the postage I need and then the conversation continues:

Postman:  You have a tree though, right?

Me:  No, we don't have a tree because we don't celebrate Christmas.

Postman:  Oh, but you put up lights, right?

Me:  No, we don't put up lights either.  We light a menorah each night for 8 nights.  Tonight is actually the last night of our holiday.

Postman:  Oh.  

The postman really had nothing left to say.  He was rendered speechless. 

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Two weeks before Christmas Ian and I were at the shopping center across the street from where we live.  Ian was got a haircut and then we were making our way down to CVS.  Upon our walk, we come across Santa Claus waiting to mingle with the kids who are out running errands with their parents.  He sees Ian and the following conversation happens:

Santa (as he hands Ian a candy cane):  Ho! Ho!  Ho!  Have you been a good boy this year?

Ian (without missing a beat):  Yes, I have!

Santa (looking at me now):  Has he been a good boy?

Me:  Yes, a very good boy.

Santa (looking back at Ian):  What is your name?

Ian: Ian

Santa:  Danny?

Ian:  No, Ian.

Santa:  huh?

Me:  I-A-N  (saying it very pronounced).

Santa:  What would you like for Christmas?  (avoiding saying Ian's name).

Ian:  I would like an Xbox One.

Santa: Did you mail a letter to my elves?

Ian:  Yes, its probably at the North Pole by now.   

Me:  Ok, Ian let's keep going. 


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Heard and Observed #50

Ian and Sam have Chinese as a mandatory language in their school. 

One recent Sunday evening:

Ian:  Ugh. I don't want Chinese tomorrow.

Sam:  Me either.

Ian:  Sam, you have Chinese too on Mondays?

Sam:  I don't know.  Just ask me each day and I will let you know if I had Chinese that day.

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Heard and Observed #49

In Orlando when the kids were with my parents during part of their summer break:

Sam is in the shower and my mom is helping her with her hair.

Sam:  You don't need to worry about the back of my head.

Mom-Mom:  Why do I not need to put shampoo back there?

Sam:  Because I don't see that part of my head.

Ha! My mom quickly set her straight about that. :)

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At the beginning of August, Ian gets home from being away for 5 weeks and is eager to talk to his friend from school.  Mind you, this is a pretty close friend of Ian's.  He calls Johnny up and this is the conversation I overhear:

Ian:  Hi Johnny......

I am presuming Johnny is saying "Hi" back.

Ian: I just want to say we are about to start a new school year and it will be a new start for you.  I'm sorry that I wasn't with you much last year.  You see, Jimmy was at the top of being popular and you were at the bottom.  But it can change this year.  It will be a new start.

(UGH!! This is probably Ian's way of saying he is sorry -- which makes me wonder for what exactly..did he ignore his good friend once he got to know Jimmy better???   Overhearing this conversation made me CRINGE!!!   As soon as Ian got off the phone I spoke with him about how that would be for him to hear if a friend said that to him.  And we had a much needed conversation about friendships.)

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Heard and Observed #48

After dropping Ian off at gymnastics the other night, Sam and I made a quick trip to Target to pick up a few things.  One item I wanted to get was another package of underwear.  I want to make sure I have plenty of clean underwear available for my trip to Israel.  It is going to be VERY HOT and I will be sweating big-time!!   If I am at all able to change my clothes during the day, I will happily put on a fresh pair underwear.  Ok, this is probably TMI (too much information), but I wanted to give background on why I was in Target getting more underwear.  :)

Sam:   Ooooh, these look nice.  Get these.

Me:  Yes, they are very nice, but I like underwear with a little bit more coverage than that.

Sam, going to the opposite end of the spectrum and finding the biggest underwear anyone has ever seen.  (If I got these, they would be up to my neck).

Sam:  What about these?  They look like they will cover you.

Me:  Thanks Sam, but I'm not quite ready yet for those kind.  I think I found some I like.

Sam comes back to where I am standing looks at the package I have in my hands, sees the size I am getting (a 7) and finds a package of the same style in a size 8.

Sam:  Here mom, get the bigger size and then you can grow into them.

Me:  Um, thanks Sam.  But growing into larger underwear at my age is not really a good thing.

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Heard and Observed #47

There is this little boy in Samantha's kindergarten class that is absolutely adorable.  He is outgoing, all smiles and says "Please" and "Thank you" without prompting.  I am convinced that Mikey likes Sam but doesn't know the proper way to communicate it.  Sam came home the other day and couldn't wait to tell me the following.

Sam (said very emphatically):  MIKEY LIED TO ME!  MIKEY LIED TO ME!!

Me:  What did he do?

Sam:  He said he was going to spank me!  So I went to Mrs. Parker and told her what Mikey said.  She went to Mikey and said, "Mikey that is not nice!  I don't ever want to hear something like that come out of your mouth again."

Me:  You did the right thing Sam going to your teacher. So how did Mikey lie to you?

Sam:  He didn't spank me!

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A couple of days later we are sitting down for dinner and Sam fills me in on Mikey's latest thing he likes to do to her.   Mikey knows that Sam will only buy her lunch from the school cafeteria when they offer chicken nuggets or spaghetti.  All other times, Sam would prefer for me to make her lunch.

Mikey:  Samantha, today is chicken nuggets and you've brought your lunch.

Sam:  No, its not.

Mikey:  Yes, it is.

Sam:  No, its not.

Mikey: Yes, it is and you are missing out on it.

Me:  Wow Sam, it sounds like Mikey really likes you.

Sam:  It wasn't really chicken nuggets, was it?

Me:  Hehehehehee.  No, don't worry, it wasn't. 

Heard and Observed #46

Sam is in the middle of yelling at Ian.  She is screaming at the top of her lungs and really letting him have it.

Sam:  IAN, I SAID STOP!!!  "S" "P" "O" "T"

Ian and I start giggling. 

Ian:  Actually Sam you spelled Spot, not Stop.

Of course this makes Sam even more upset. 

Sam:  NO!!!  "O" "N"  I SPELLED STOP!!

Now, Ian and I are really laughing.  Sam was trying so hard to get her point across by spelling the words. 

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Sam asked for helping making a 3D flower out of paper.  I gave it my best shot to make one, but Sam did not like how mine turned out.  Not one bit.  Jeff then helped her make a flower and she was much happier with how his turned out.  Just before bedtime, Jeff gave Sam a 5 minute warning she was going to bed soon.  I am not sure what she was all jazzed up about, but when I walked in the room, Sam was spiritedly saying to Jeff while waving around the paper flower I made, "...And all I'm left holding is this piece of crap."


Oh my!

Heard and Observed #45

I found out from a mutual friend that one of Ian's classmates' mom had a serious illness unexpectedly occur.  It sent a bit of a shock through all of us among the moms who know her.  I told Ian that his friend "John" may not be in school due to the serious condition his mom was in.  If John was in school, he should be extra sensitive to him.  Don't say anything to John unless he says something first.  And try to keep your response positive.  Ian said he would tell John, "I hope your mom feels better." 

I didn't go into too many details telling Ian what was going on; only saying that John's mom was sick.  If John did feel the need to talk about it, I didn't want Ian to start asking a bunch of questions and make John feel bad about what was going on. 

At the end of the day, Ian gets in the car and I asked him if John was in school.  Ian said yes.  Here was their conversation:

John asked Ian if he thought his mom was home or not.

Ian:  Yes, she's home.

John:  No, my mom is in the hospital.

Ian:  I hope she feels better.

John:  Thanks.

Ian:  I wasn't supposed to say anything until you said something first.

Oh my!!!  Next time I give Ian instructions, I am going to have tell him not to say what the instructions were!  It's very sweet how innocent kids are.  Ian meant well and didn't realize what he was doing.  Gosh, I love that kid. 

Heard and Observed #44

Jeff to Sam (as he is putting her down to bed):  Samantha, tomorrow is Mommy's birthday.  Please do your best to be a good girl and be very nice to Mommy. It is a special day.

Sam (whispering to herself):  Please no, please no

Jeff:  What?

Sam:  Please no Great Falls, please no Great Falls.

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We were driving in the car with our friends talking about dance class and all the various things having to do with that.  Sam is listening and decides to contribute to the conversation.

Sam:  Well, my dance class used to be a prison.

It was very, very funny.  And very true!  Sam took dance classes at the Lorton Workhouse, which back in the day, used to be a prison.  How funny that she remembers this.  And if anyone didn't know where Sam took dance, they'd think she was making this up.

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Jeff and I went for a walk one evening.  He had a particular route in mind. I had no idea where he was going and hadn't gone this way before.

Me to Jeff:  Ok, I will follow you, but I want to be in front.

It was only after this came out of my mouth, did I realize how absurd it sounded.

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Heard and Observerd #43

We are currently spending the week at the beach -- Emerald Isle, NC.  I have lots to share about our trip and will do so when we get back to town.  But first, I have another "Heard and Observed".

The day before we left for our trip, we did an ice cream meet-up with my friend Heather and her kids at Cold Stone on Sunday afternoon.  Heather and Ian have a great relationship and ever since Ian was 3, she quizzes him on various math problems.  9 times out of 10, Ian gets it right -- usually coming up with the answer pretty quickly in his head.  It is actually very impressive to watch.

SIDE NOTE:  How this even started that Heather thought Ian could handle these math problems?   When I was potty training Ian (just after turning 3), he had an accident and I was changing him out of the dirty underwear and into a clean pair.  I was simultaneously on the phone with Heather and made the offhanded remark that we were now down another pair of underwear.  But it's ok, we had 25 pairs and lost 3 in the last 2 days.  Ian said, without missing a beat, "that means we only have 22 pairs left."   Heather couldn't believe what she was hearing and asked me how in the world Ian could do that math.  I didn't think it was anything special and was under the impression that all kids could do math like that.  And that's how Ian's relationship started with Heather asking him math problems to solve.

Back to Sunday -- Here's the conversation:

Heather:  Ian, what's 96-12?

Ian:  84.  The same year that Detroit Tigers took the pennant.

Heather:  WHAT!?!?!?  Really?

Jeff:  Yes, Ian's right.  They won in 1984.

Heather:  OMG!  That's crazy.

Heather then moves off to math and begins asking baseball questions.  She is quite impressed with Ian's knowledge of everything baseball. 

Heather:  Ian, who is pitching the Nats game on Wednesday?

Ian (thinking about who has pitched recently and who is left to pitch in the rotation):  What day is today?

We all busted out laughing.  Ian is like a mini-Rainman with all his math and baseball knowledge. Honestly, I'd think he was on the Autism spectrum if he wasn't so social and had good eye-contact.  But when it came to something so easy as what the day of the week was, he didn't know.  It was pretty funny.  We all had a good laugh. 

Heard and Observed #42

Ian:  Sam, your a little whiny, but your still the best sister I could ever have.

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After picking Sam from school one day, our conversation in the car:

Sam:  Mommy, when you have baby in your tummy, does it hurt to get the baby out of you?

Me:  Yes, a little.  But they have pain medicine they will give you, so you don't feel anything.

Sam: Then I don't want to be a girl

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Heard and Observed #40

Sam loves, loves, loves Kelly Clarkson.  She knows all of her songs by heart and regularly belts out singing her music without the radio even being on.

The other evening, my Toppall team and I were coming back from Gaithersburg, MD.  The radio is on and an older Kelly Clarkson song starts playing on the radio station we were tuned in to.  Sam instantly begins to sing along and then stops about halfway through to make the following comment:

"It's so nice that Kelly Clarkson remembers this one."


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Heard and Observed #39

The other day Ian did something that really upset me.  I yelled at him (frankly, I can't even remember over what) and he sulked off, leaving the room I was in.  

As he moped away, Sam says to him:

Don't worry Ian, I still like you.

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Heard and Observed #38

The other day, I said the following to Ian;

"Ian, you are CRAZY!"

His response? "Well, I am half Mazer."

Love it!

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Sam completed level 1 in gymnastics and was ready for the level 2-3 class.  The only opening for her new class that worked for our schedule was Monday evenings at 5:00pm.  Ian is there anyway from 4 to 6pm, so it allows me the opportunity to be in one place for an extended amount of time.  A win-win!  However, this is a very long day for Sam.  She has Pre-K from 9:00am to 1:00pm, Swimming from 2:30 to 3:00pm and then gymnastics from 5:00 to 6:00pm.  

Upon walking in the house at 6:10pm this past Monday, Sam took one look at Jeff and said:

"I had too much of a day!"

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While driving in the car:

Sam:  Can a girl marry another girl?

Me:  Yes, if they love each other.

Sam:  Can a boy marry another boy?

Me:  Yes, if they love each other.

Sam:  Can I marry myself?

Me:  No, that one is not possible.

Sam: Ok then, I am going to marry Grant.  He's already 5, you know.

I really think Sam was weighing all her available options before deciding that Grant would be the lucky individual.  For those that don't know Grant, he can scream with the best of them.  They would make a lovely couple.  :)

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