I found out some sad news this past week. The Crazy Man has passed away. He died of heart failure due to pneumonia. Towards the end, his mental state had decreased greatly and he was having problems coping. He had been hospitalized for suicidal tendencies and was not able to get transferred out of the psych ward until he met certain goals. And he kept failing to meet those goals.
About 6 months ago, it was determined he could no longer live on his own and would need 24/7 care. I think it was losing this independence that was the final straw. He always told me that once he could no longer live like a rock star, at the top of his game, he'd want to end his life and be done.
It's sad to see this is how The Crazy Man's story ends. He went from being so full of life to no life at all. He alienated almost everyone around him, including those who said they would stand by him and changed their mind when the going got really tough. It was his neighbor in the end that helped him the most and got his affairs in order.
Over the past 2 years, I'd hear from The Crazy Man from time to time. He'd ask me my advice on something or a question to where some paper, file, company, phone number, etc., was located. I'd help him as best as I could, but I could tell his mind was going and it was harder for him to form coherent sentences. He was a big fan of Ian's and would call just to ask what he was up to and if there was a performance he could come check out. He never actually did see Ian act, but The Crazy Man was certain that Ian is headed for greatness.
Working for The Crazy Man was definitely one of the more interesting things to happen to me. I never failed to have a funny or outlandish story at the ready, whenever anyone asked me what he was up to. I could entertain friends and family for hours with all his antics. He lived life to the absolute fullest, never was one to take 'no' for answer, and always had a plan for how to find some loop hole or back way in to make his latest big idea a reality. The Crazy Man was the true definition of what it meant to have chutzpah (definition: extreme self-confidence or audacity).
Rest in peace Crazy Man, and go easy on the Big Guy. I am sure he has got your number and knows all the tricks you are up to. ;)
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Friday, December 27, 2019
Thursday, February 1, 2018
The end of crazy
I wake up each day with a sense of freedom that I haven't had in a very long time. My part-time job with The Crazy Man has dwindled down next to almost nothing. He has moved to his new place; a retirement community in Chevy Chase, MD. This is a good thing. However, he has abandoned his house he was living in and there is still a ton of crap all over the place that needs to be discarded. It's either old furniture he no longer wants, or filing cabinets filled with old files, or shelves that hold a whole wall of books, or closets full of all kinds of clothing. Its not pretty what this house looks like. So that is not a good thing.
The realtor can't begin renovations to get it ready to sell until everything is gone. Meanwhile, The Crazy Man is paying both a mortgage and a HUGE monthly fee to live in this posh community. This is going to pose a pretty big problem for him sooner rather than later because he really needs the proceeds from the sale of the house to afford him the new place. Not only does he not have enough money to keep this going for much longer, but his ability to check his balance on his bank accounts is not so easy for him to do anymore since I stopped working for him and gave him timely updates on what funds he has available. Again, not a good thing.
Randomly I'll get a call or two from someone he has hired to work for him looking for something specific. It's an easy question for me to answer and then I'm done. I am intrigued by this because the person who calls me has a strong accent and I know for a fact The Crazy Man can't deal with people who don't speak English as a first language.
There are many more idiosyncrasies going on, but honestly, its exhausting to think about. I do know I set up the appointment for Verizon to install his new phone, tv, and Internet, plus forward his new number to the people who call his old number. He missed being there for the appointment and Verizon left. The reason The Crazy Man missed the appointment? Because he was busy visiting 3 different ERs and hospitals that week. OY! It only gets better when he calls Verizon to reschedule the missed appointment and the whole order is replicated as a new one. There is now a completely new phone number assigned and no new number is being forwarded. What a mess! But you know what? It's not my mess.
There is a weird void in my day and I often find myself wondering what new trouble he is getting in to and what off-the-wall stuff he has someone doing on his behalf. I certainly don't miss working for him, but I have to think I have a bit of PTSD after 6 long years of visiting his brand of crazy. It's a weird feeling to know that I am done. I really never thought I'd see the day.
The realtor can't begin renovations to get it ready to sell until everything is gone. Meanwhile, The Crazy Man is paying both a mortgage and a HUGE monthly fee to live in this posh community. This is going to pose a pretty big problem for him sooner rather than later because he really needs the proceeds from the sale of the house to afford him the new place. Not only does he not have enough money to keep this going for much longer, but his ability to check his balance on his bank accounts is not so easy for him to do anymore since I stopped working for him and gave him timely updates on what funds he has available. Again, not a good thing.
Randomly I'll get a call or two from someone he has hired to work for him looking for something specific. It's an easy question for me to answer and then I'm done. I am intrigued by this because the person who calls me has a strong accent and I know for a fact The Crazy Man can't deal with people who don't speak English as a first language.
There are many more idiosyncrasies going on, but honestly, its exhausting to think about. I do know I set up the appointment for Verizon to install his new phone, tv, and Internet, plus forward his new number to the people who call his old number. He missed being there for the appointment and Verizon left. The reason The Crazy Man missed the appointment? Because he was busy visiting 3 different ERs and hospitals that week. OY! It only gets better when he calls Verizon to reschedule the missed appointment and the whole order is replicated as a new one. There is now a completely new phone number assigned and no new number is being forwarded. What a mess! But you know what? It's not my mess.
There is a weird void in my day and I often find myself wondering what new trouble he is getting in to and what off-the-wall stuff he has someone doing on his behalf. I certainly don't miss working for him, but I have to think I have a bit of PTSD after 6 long years of visiting his brand of crazy. It's a weird feeling to know that I am done. I really never thought I'd see the day.
Saturday, December 9, 2017
Still in Crazy Man hell
Can you believe its been more than a month since I wrote last? Wow, that hasn't happened EVER since I started writing more than 8 years ago. Yeah, I'd miss a day or two here and there, but never more than a month. Insane!
I have to chalk it up to still working for The Crazy Man. HE HAS NOT MOVED YET! Really. I am not kidding. He is paying a ridiculously high monthly fee at a senior community in Chevy Chase, MD and still living in his home in NoVa. It is quite insane. And I am going out of my mind.
Fortunately I told him at the beginning of September that I could only stay working for him until December 31st. I gave him 4 months notice. I was fully expecting him to abandon me before I could abandon him. At the rate we are going, he is going to still be a Northern Virginia resident come New Year's 2019.
Each day we speak, I ask him "Have you booked the movers yet?" And every time it is the same answer, "I am working on it. I need the top two contenders to come back and give me another estimate because I keep taking more and more stuff over to Chevy Chase." I have used pretty strong wording to tell him what a disaster this is and how he just needs to pick a mover and move!! He can't keep paying for two residences. And his house needs to be completely cleared out before the minor renovations happen (2 weeks worth) and before it can get listed on the market. You do the math, that's another several thousand dollars of unnecessarily paying both the HIGH monthly fee and his mortgage.
I keep looking at my calendar and get a smile on my face when I see I only have 3 weeks left. No matter what, I am D.O.N.E. I know I've done the best by him and giving him 4 months notice is very generous. The Crazy Man has these high expectations he will find someone else to take over the administrative stuff I do. I do wish him well that he is successful.
In the meantime, for the next 3 weeks, my afternoons working for him are filled with writing letters with either compliments or complaints, sending emails, updating doctors with all the tests he takes and medications he is on, and calling long lost friends and ex-girlfriends. Or, tracking down a more recent girlfriend (friend that is a girl, not an actual girlfriend. His main chickadee is still in the picture, living in Bethesda.) for him to take to a dance.
I have to chalk it up to still working for The Crazy Man. HE HAS NOT MOVED YET! Really. I am not kidding. He is paying a ridiculously high monthly fee at a senior community in Chevy Chase, MD and still living in his home in NoVa. It is quite insane. And I am going out of my mind.
Fortunately I told him at the beginning of September that I could only stay working for him until December 31st. I gave him 4 months notice. I was fully expecting him to abandon me before I could abandon him. At the rate we are going, he is going to still be a Northern Virginia resident come New Year's 2019.
Each day we speak, I ask him "Have you booked the movers yet?" And every time it is the same answer, "I am working on it. I need the top two contenders to come back and give me another estimate because I keep taking more and more stuff over to Chevy Chase." I have used pretty strong wording to tell him what a disaster this is and how he just needs to pick a mover and move!! He can't keep paying for two residences. And his house needs to be completely cleared out before the minor renovations happen (2 weeks worth) and before it can get listed on the market. You do the math, that's another several thousand dollars of unnecessarily paying both the HIGH monthly fee and his mortgage.
I keep looking at my calendar and get a smile on my face when I see I only have 3 weeks left. No matter what, I am D.O.N.E. I know I've done the best by him and giving him 4 months notice is very generous. The Crazy Man has these high expectations he will find someone else to take over the administrative stuff I do. I do wish him well that he is successful.
In the meantime, for the next 3 weeks, my afternoons working for him are filled with writing letters with either compliments or complaints, sending emails, updating doctors with all the tests he takes and medications he is on, and calling long lost friends and ex-girlfriends. Or, tracking down a more recent girlfriend (friend that is a girl, not an actual girlfriend. His main chickadee is still in the picture, living in Bethesda.) for him to take to a dance.
Saturday, November 11, 2017
Tales from the Crypt: Fingers crossed!
I think we might be nearing the end of my work with The Crazy Man. I can't believe I even typed that last sentence. It's been a long time coming and many hoops were jumped to make this a reality. I am pleased to report there is a senior living community in Chevy Chase, MD that has accepted him and gave him an apartment. The Crazy Man has already signed the lease and started paying the monthly fee.
This could actually be the end this time. Really. He has begun moving stuff in to the new place and the movers are scheduled for this coming week to get the rest of his stuff. I am not exactly sure when my last day will be. There is still too much that needs to be done to shut down the office; change his address on a gazillion businesses, doctors offices and subscriptions, go through the files and pull the important ones that need to go with the move, and trash a lot of very old, nonsensical stuff. Not to mention cancel his current service with Verizon, his gym membership, and get new service started. It's exhausting thinking about it, but at least I am nearing the end and he can start driving a new person crazy.
I've worked for The Crazy Man for 6 years! How I lasted that long is beyond me. I am not sure what will become of him now. Not that I am tooting my own horn on how great I am, but there is probably no one who would've lasted this long. He really is emotionally exhausting to be around. And over the years he has gotten worse with his crazy ideas.
I expect at first there will be a ton of phone calls asking me questions and needing help. I will do what I can over the phone, but as for going to Chevy Chase, I've said no, absolutely not. This is my chance to make a clean break. Or, as clean as I can since he will still have my phone numbers. But at least I can chose to answer the phone or not answer it.
I am looking forward to Thanksgiving in two weeks and being thankful that I was able to get out while I could.
This could actually be the end this time. Really. He has begun moving stuff in to the new place and the movers are scheduled for this coming week to get the rest of his stuff. I am not exactly sure when my last day will be. There is still too much that needs to be done to shut down the office; change his address on a gazillion businesses, doctors offices and subscriptions, go through the files and pull the important ones that need to go with the move, and trash a lot of very old, nonsensical stuff. Not to mention cancel his current service with Verizon, his gym membership, and get new service started. It's exhausting thinking about it, but at least I am nearing the end and he can start driving a new person crazy.
I've worked for The Crazy Man for 6 years! How I lasted that long is beyond me. I am not sure what will become of him now. Not that I am tooting my own horn on how great I am, but there is probably no one who would've lasted this long. He really is emotionally exhausting to be around. And over the years he has gotten worse with his crazy ideas.
I expect at first there will be a ton of phone calls asking me questions and needing help. I will do what I can over the phone, but as for going to Chevy Chase, I've said no, absolutely not. This is my chance to make a clean break. Or, as clean as I can since he will still have my phone numbers. But at least I can chose to answer the phone or not answer it.
I am looking forward to Thanksgiving in two weeks and being thankful that I was able to get out while I could.
Friday, June 16, 2017
Another tale from The Crypt
In case anyone thinks The Crazy Man is only crazy, please know he is also very calculating.
In preparation for a move and the fact he will be throwing out a ton of stuff that is no longer of any value, he has a written a letter to his neighborhood conservancy office telling the executive director what a fabulous job the trash pick-up people do each week.
Mind you, this is the first time in all the years The Crazy Man has felt compelled to write a letter praising their work but he never really needed them like he does now. He knows he'll be putting to the curb more trash than usual and stuff of various sizes most likely not approved for pick-up.
The Crazy Man feels if he can tell everyone who matters they are doing a great job, they will be most likely to pick up everything he throws out.
Yep, this is how he operates. He is always thinking of the best way to make things happen in his favor. And writing a letter is always his first step.
In preparation for a move and the fact he will be throwing out a ton of stuff that is no longer of any value, he has a written a letter to his neighborhood conservancy office telling the executive director what a fabulous job the trash pick-up people do each week.
Mind you, this is the first time in all the years The Crazy Man has felt compelled to write a letter praising their work but he never really needed them like he does now. He knows he'll be putting to the curb more trash than usual and stuff of various sizes most likely not approved for pick-up.
The Crazy Man feels if he can tell everyone who matters they are doing a great job, they will be most likely to pick up everything he throws out.
Yep, this is how he operates. He is always thinking of the best way to make things happen in his favor. And writing a letter is always his first step.
Saturday, June 10, 2017
Tales from the Crypt - the beginning of the end
So it's been a while since I've written about my part time job for The Crazy Man. And it's not because he is no longer crazy. Ha! More so than ever. The Crazy Man, at the ripe age of 79 ("above ground" as is he is so fond of telling everyone he speaks to) is seriously considering a move to a retirement community. One that has graduated levels care and can help you until the bitter end.
It wasn't an easy decision for The Crazy Man to decide to take this step. He very much values his independence, LOVES his house and hates the idea of being around older people. He finds them depressing. Mind you, he doesn't consider himself to be among his peers -- he is far above them in his mind. Ha!
However, due to a huge number of close friends, doctors and other professional types whose opinions he greatly values, he has been convinced this is for the best. And believe me, this move should've happened about 2 years ago when he was in better shape physically and mentally.
One of the first steps he needs to do is sell his house. The Crazy Man does not do anything without a great deal of research. He has been in contact with no less than 6 Realtors to give him their professional point of view on the following:
1. How much to list the house as is?
2. How much to list the house if renovations were done?
3. How much in renovations do you recommend and what would they be?
Here's where my life becomes needlessly challenging in working for The Crazy Man. He doesn't remember anyone's names. NONE OF THEM! So I now have a chart (in order of who came to visit) and have labeled them with their real name and phone number and then a column with their nickname The Crazy Man has given them. The next 4 columns have their answers to the above questions. It's a great thing I'm organized.
Here are the nicknames The Crazy Man has given these Realtors:
1. The first one -- that's an easy one to figure out. He was the first to come.
2. The guy who promised the report by Monday at 9:00am - Turns out his name is Johnathan
3. Anna - Ha!! First of all her name isn't Anna, it's Amy. AND, she works with #3 (Johnathan). She has been to The Crazy Man's house 3 times on Johnathan's behalf and The Crazy Man still doesn't get the fact she isn't going solo on this.
4. The girl - her real name is "Jenny"
5. Paul -- however, his real name is "Pete". He has also been called "The last one" and "The best one"
Please know, he only refers to them by their nicknames.
Meanwhile, he had a random realtor stop by in the midst of all this craziness and ask if he was interested in selling his house. She has a very interested buyer (all cash deal!) who desperately wants to buy a house on his street so they are within walking distance of their grandchildren. This realtor is now known as "The neighbors". The neighbors gave a very generous offer for buying the house as is. The Crazy Man is not sure about this and wants to now get an appraiser for an independent opinion.
OMG!
Don't get me started on what he is doing to compare the two independent living communities he is interested in moving into. I'm looking forward to all of this being over soon.
It wasn't an easy decision for The Crazy Man to decide to take this step. He very much values his independence, LOVES his house and hates the idea of being around older people. He finds them depressing. Mind you, he doesn't consider himself to be among his peers -- he is far above them in his mind. Ha!
However, due to a huge number of close friends, doctors and other professional types whose opinions he greatly values, he has been convinced this is for the best. And believe me, this move should've happened about 2 years ago when he was in better shape physically and mentally.
One of the first steps he needs to do is sell his house. The Crazy Man does not do anything without a great deal of research. He has been in contact with no less than 6 Realtors to give him their professional point of view on the following:
1. How much to list the house as is?
2. How much to list the house if renovations were done?
3. How much in renovations do you recommend and what would they be?
Here's where my life becomes needlessly challenging in working for The Crazy Man. He doesn't remember anyone's names. NONE OF THEM! So I now have a chart (in order of who came to visit) and have labeled them with their real name and phone number and then a column with their nickname The Crazy Man has given them. The next 4 columns have their answers to the above questions. It's a great thing I'm organized.
Here are the nicknames The Crazy Man has given these Realtors:
1. The first one -- that's an easy one to figure out. He was the first to come.
2. The guy who promised the report by Monday at 9:00am - Turns out his name is Johnathan
3. Anna - Ha!! First of all her name isn't Anna, it's Amy. AND, she works with #3 (Johnathan). She has been to The Crazy Man's house 3 times on Johnathan's behalf and The Crazy Man still doesn't get the fact she isn't going solo on this.
4. The girl - her real name is "Jenny"
5. Paul -- however, his real name is "Pete". He has also been called "The last one" and "The best one"
Please know, he only refers to them by their nicknames.
Meanwhile, he had a random realtor stop by in the midst of all this craziness and ask if he was interested in selling his house. She has a very interested buyer (all cash deal!) who desperately wants to buy a house on his street so they are within walking distance of their grandchildren. This realtor is now known as "The neighbors". The neighbors gave a very generous offer for buying the house as is. The Crazy Man is not sure about this and wants to now get an appraiser for an independent opinion.
OMG!
Don't get me started on what he is doing to compare the two independent living communities he is interested in moving into. I'm looking forward to all of this being over soon.
Monday, August 8, 2016
Soul Mates
I just found The Crazy Man's twin. OMG! This was a Humans of New York Post that ran on August 7th. I read it and can't help but think this is EXACTLY like the eccentric old man I do part-time work for. This post made me laugh.
“I’ve always lived off my artwork all my life. I’ve lived all over the world. I’ve had fourteen common law wives. I’ve never needed money because I’m talented. Talent is better than money because it’s always with you. Let me give you an example. Back in 1970 I was getting dinner with a Japanese model at the Sao Paulo Hilton in Brazil. This guy from Texas was sitting at the table next to me, and he’s trying to order a steak, but he keeps sending it back to the kitchen. ... He keeps saying: ‘The steaks are better in Texas.’ After the second time he sends it back, the master chef comes out, and I hear him say in Portuguese: ‘I’m going to kill this man!’ Now being a Galician myself, I know the character of the Latin American people. If a French person says he’s going to kill you, you don’t have to worry. The French are lovers and all lovers are cowards. Trust me—several of my former wives are French. I know this. But when a Latin American tells you that he’s going to kill you, it’s time to leave. So I walked over to the man’s table and bought him a bottle of wine, and I talked with him about Texas. I knew all about Texas because I competed in fishing tournaments there. After a few minutes of talking, I tell the man: ‘If you order one more steak, you’re going to get killed with a machete.’ So he took my advice and he left. The entire restaurant staff came out and started singing to me with tambourines. They brought out free wine and a full spread. They said, ‘Your money is no good here.’ The Japanese model was so impressed. See what I mean? Talent.”
“I’ve always lived off my artwork all my life. I’ve lived all over the world. I’ve had fourteen common law wives. I’ve never needed money because I’m talented. Talent is better than money because it’s always with you. Let me give you an example. Back in 1970 I was getting dinner with a Japanese model at the Sao Paulo Hilton in Brazil. This guy from Texas was sitting at the table next to me, and he’s trying to order a steak, but he keeps sending it back to the kitchen. ... He keeps saying: ‘The steaks are better in Texas.’ After the second time he sends it back, the master chef comes out, and I hear him say in Portuguese: ‘I’m going to kill this man!’ Now being a Galician myself, I know the character of the Latin American people. If a French person says he’s going to kill you, you don’t have to worry. The French are lovers and all lovers are cowards. Trust me—several of my former wives are French. I know this. But when a Latin American tells you that he’s going to kill you, it’s time to leave. So I walked over to the man’s table and bought him a bottle of wine, and I talked with him about Texas. I knew all about Texas because I competed in fishing tournaments there. After a few minutes of talking, I tell the man: ‘If you order one more steak, you’re going to get killed with a machete.’ So he took my advice and he left. The entire restaurant staff came out and started singing to me with tambourines. They brought out free wine and a full spread. They said, ‘Your money is no good here.’ The Japanese model was so impressed. See what I mean? Talent.”
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Tales from the dating crypt
Just when you think The Crazy Man can't get any crazier, surprise! This story really takes the cake.
Back in August 2014, he was prescribed several sessions of physical therapy for some pain he was experiencing. The doctor sent him to this one particular place that had a very well qualified PT who could assist him. The Crazy Man did his 8 or so appointments but was not very happy with how social the physical therapist was. Apparently she didn't keep her eyes on The Crazy Man the entire time he was doing his exercises. Instead, she diverted her attention and was very friendly with the other physical therapists and patients in the office. She chatted with them about her life and what was going on in their lives; typical friendly banter.
The Crazy Man was not pleased with how social "Kim" was. In fact, he had me research the corporate office for the Physical Therapy place and get the name & number for the head person. The Crazy Man spoke with a VP and got Kim in trouble. It was more than just a quick conversation. The Crazy Man went to great lengths to ask a very long list of questions that he demanded answers. Here is the list:
If an appointment is scheduled at 12:30 is it acceptable the appointment begins at 12:40 due to the therapist still eating lunch?
Back in August 2014, he was prescribed several sessions of physical therapy for some pain he was experiencing. The doctor sent him to this one particular place that had a very well qualified PT who could assist him. The Crazy Man did his 8 or so appointments but was not very happy with how social the physical therapist was. Apparently she didn't keep her eyes on The Crazy Man the entire time he was doing his exercises. Instead, she diverted her attention and was very friendly with the other physical therapists and patients in the office. She chatted with them about her life and what was going on in their lives; typical friendly banter.
The Crazy Man was not pleased with how social "Kim" was. In fact, he had me research the corporate office for the Physical Therapy place and get the name & number for the head person. The Crazy Man spoke with a VP and got Kim in trouble. It was more than just a quick conversation. The Crazy Man went to great lengths to ask a very long list of questions that he demanded answers. Here is the list:
If an appointment is scheduled at 12:30 is it acceptable the appointment begins at 12:40 due to the therapist still eating lunch?
·
I
had to fill out forms; I don’t think the therapist read them. If she
did how would it have changed her treatment of me? Did she use the
information on them to help me? If
so, how did she change it?
·
Do you not provide an introduction to the company and the therapist on the first visit? In my situation, they did not.
·
How long is a therapy appointment?
·
Why are my exercises different in one office than another? Specifically Burke, VA vs Annandale, VA.
·
If
I am on a machine across the room from the therapist and she has 3 or 4
files in front of her that she is working on (which she did), is that
okay that she is not right next
to me?
·
If
I am on a machine and she is talking to other clients and staff about
their weekend plans, and happenings in the world and not paying
attention to me is that okay?
·
If
I am on a machine and she sets the timer and then ignores me because
she is chit chatting and doesn’t hear the alarm go off, is that okay?
·
Is it okay that she talks with other staff members about nonprofessional non work issues?
·
On my 2nd
visit I arrive to see my therapist and I was greeted with her saying I
cannot see you today because I scheduled something else so you will see
this other
person. Is that okay? I made a specific appointment to see her.
·
She
introduced me to a trainee on my first visit and asked me if it was
okay that she worked with us too. I said of course. Is that okay that a
trainee treats me?
Why are my exercises different than other people in the gym?
The VP was very nice and took everything The Crazy Man said very serious and got him the answers he was seeking. Meanwhile, the sessions end and I feel this should be end of the story too. But noooooooooo, there's more.
Fast forward to last week. It's been 16 months since The Crazy Man made that call to the Corporate office. The Crazy Man comes into my office and says, you think we can get Kim who I used to do physical therapy with on the phone? I said, "Yes, I can easily find her phone number."
The Crazy Man: I want to call her and ask her out to dinner.
Me: WHAT????? Did I hear you correctly? You want to ask her out? Isn't this the same woman you got in trouble?
The Crazy Man: Yes, but I'm going to tell her that we won't talk business. It will purely be social.
Me: You've got to be kidding me! THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!! Seriously?
The Crazy Man: You think she has a problem with me?
Me: Yes! I do!! You called her corporate office and got her in trouble. There is no way she is going to want to see you again, even for dinner. That fish has swam away. Find a new pond. Put yourself in her position, would you want to see YOU again???
The Crazy Man: I guess your right. Who can I call and ask for a 2nd opinion on this?
OMG! I can't believe he thought this was ok. Just when I thought he can't get any more crazy, he manages to surprise me.
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Tales from the crypt
I've resigned myself that that I am in it for the long haul. Quitting working for the Crazy Man is not going to happen any time soon. So let's settle in and get comfy. Here's a little story to bring a smile to your face.
While the Crazy Man was on his trip in February, he met a magician. I think the magician was employed on the cruise, but generally works trade shows in Vegas. The Crazy Man considers himself a bit of an amateur magician, so I can see how he would want to associate himself with a real, professional magician.
There have been many phone conversations with this magician. The Crazy Man has taken him under his wing and is giving him tips and pointers on how to make his business more successful. The magician is not young (maybe mid-40's?) and seems to be doing just fine. His big hook is that if you hire him, he will drive traffic to your trade show booth.
I overheard The Crazy Man on the phone with him about 2 weeks ago. His suggestions included, but not limited to: The magician should change his costume multiple times. Apparently what he wears is nice, but not very memorable. The Crazy Man said that Green would be a good color for him. Another suggestion was offered to the magician that he should try to get his wife in his act. According to The Crazy Man, people like to see couples performing together.
Meanwhile, he had me mail the magician a letter for the sole purpose of the magician seeing the outside of the envelope. It was a business size, #10 envelope with a "Burn after reading", "Top Secret!" and "This document does not exist" stamped all over the outside.
I guess I should be thankful that this is the only thing that resulted from The Crazy Man traveling to Florida and going on the cruise. The highlight of March was being able to gather all his tax documents and get it mailed to the accountant the earliest I've ever done in the last 3 years. This is despite him accidentally throwing away the first set of tax forms that came in the mail in February. Yay! And when The Crazy Man wanted me to call around to compare Michelin tire prices getting installed on his car, I merely found my research from back in October and was good to go.
Crazy Man 0, Robyn 1.
There have been many phone conversations with this magician. The Crazy Man has taken him under his wing and is giving him tips and pointers on how to make his business more successful. The magician is not young (maybe mid-40's?) and seems to be doing just fine. His big hook is that if you hire him, he will drive traffic to your trade show booth.
I overheard The Crazy Man on the phone with him about 2 weeks ago. His suggestions included, but not limited to: The magician should change his costume multiple times. Apparently what he wears is nice, but not very memorable. The Crazy Man said that Green would be a good color for him. Another suggestion was offered to the magician that he should try to get his wife in his act. According to The Crazy Man, people like to see couples performing together.
Meanwhile, he had me mail the magician a letter for the sole purpose of the magician seeing the outside of the envelope. It was a business size, #10 envelope with a "Burn after reading", "Top Secret!" and "This document does not exist" stamped all over the outside.
I guess I should be thankful that this is the only thing that resulted from The Crazy Man traveling to Florida and going on the cruise. The highlight of March was being able to gather all his tax documents and get it mailed to the accountant the earliest I've ever done in the last 3 years. This is despite him accidentally throwing away the first set of tax forms that came in the mail in February. Yay! And when The Crazy Man wanted me to call around to compare Michelin tire prices getting installed on his car, I merely found my research from back in October and was good to go.
Crazy Man 0, Robyn 1.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Pure Magic.
While Ian and Jeff were away for the weekend, the company I used to work for Arnold Advertising (now Arnold Communications) had a reunion Happy Hour. Everyone whoever worked at DDB/Needham (which then became) Arnold Advertising (which then became) Arnold Communications or Circle.com was invited to attend.
I worked at Arnold right out of college from 1994 to 1999. My naive 20-something self thought every workplace was like this one and had no idea what the real world was really like. To say working with this group of people was special is an understatement. It was pure magic. Don't get me wrong, we worked hard and put in long hours, but it didn't feel like work. We really enjoyed being around each other. It was like a 60 hour party each week. Seriously, we'd watch full length movies during lunch time in the conference room. We'd have these unbelievable happy hours that went in to all hours of the night. We'd happily stay late to work on a presentation or a new business pitch and order dinner together 3 to 4 nights each week.
The Happy Hour reunion was held at the bar area of a local steakhouse. Easily 70 or so former Arnold employees attended. We took over that bar and then some! Almost every single person there was from the 5 years I worked at Arnold. What a wonderful, wonderful trip down memory lane. The laughs, the reminiscing, the smiles were flowing non-stop.
It's funny, I have no desire whatsoever to go to a high school reunion. The thought of walking back in a room full of my school mates from 7th to 12th grades makes me nausea. I keep in touch with maybe 3 or 4 people and that's fine with me. I never need to increase that number. Although, I do admit it is fun to hear what is happening to a few others, but I can get those updates from my close friends.
When I heard this Arnold reunion was being formed, I couldn't wait to attend. It didn't bother me that I'd be going solo because Jeff was out of town. I wasn't concerned about how much weight I've gained in the last 20 years, or what I looked like or if I was going to say something stupid. I didn't care that I no longer had a career I was proud of or making impressive waves in the work world. I wasn't nervous walking in.
It was like a time machine transported me back to 1994. Everyone looked exactly the same! No one aged in the last 18 years (other than maybe 1 or 2 people). And like no time had been lost, we all picked up where we left off.
I didn't realize how many people I had shared an office with. At least 6 conversations started with different people coming up to me saying, "Remember when we shared an office together?" HA! I guess I got around.
After the happy hour, Kristin/Mike, John/Dana and I went to dinner at Wildfire. We had reservations for 8:00pm. The great evening continued with a delicious dinner. And of course the memories and laughs kept flowing. We had opened Pandora's box at the happy hour and kept it going reminiscing during dinner. Gosh I love Kristin and John. It is so wonderful to be around people who truly get how amazing this job was with the people we were lucky to work with.
Without a doubt that had to have been the best 5 years of my life working in an office.
I worked at Arnold right out of college from 1994 to 1999. My naive 20-something self thought every workplace was like this one and had no idea what the real world was really like. To say working with this group of people was special is an understatement. It was pure magic. Don't get me wrong, we worked hard and put in long hours, but it didn't feel like work. We really enjoyed being around each other. It was like a 60 hour party each week. Seriously, we'd watch full length movies during lunch time in the conference room. We'd have these unbelievable happy hours that went in to all hours of the night. We'd happily stay late to work on a presentation or a new business pitch and order dinner together 3 to 4 nights each week.
The Happy Hour reunion was held at the bar area of a local steakhouse. Easily 70 or so former Arnold employees attended. We took over that bar and then some! Almost every single person there was from the 5 years I worked at Arnold. What a wonderful, wonderful trip down memory lane. The laughs, the reminiscing, the smiles were flowing non-stop.
It's funny, I have no desire whatsoever to go to a high school reunion. The thought of walking back in a room full of my school mates from 7th to 12th grades makes me nausea. I keep in touch with maybe 3 or 4 people and that's fine with me. I never need to increase that number. Although, I do admit it is fun to hear what is happening to a few others, but I can get those updates from my close friends.
When I heard this Arnold reunion was being formed, I couldn't wait to attend. It didn't bother me that I'd be going solo because Jeff was out of town. I wasn't concerned about how much weight I've gained in the last 20 years, or what I looked like or if I was going to say something stupid. I didn't care that I no longer had a career I was proud of or making impressive waves in the work world. I wasn't nervous walking in.
It was like a time machine transported me back to 1994. Everyone looked exactly the same! No one aged in the last 18 years (other than maybe 1 or 2 people). And like no time had been lost, we all picked up where we left off.
I didn't realize how many people I had shared an office with. At least 6 conversations started with different people coming up to me saying, "Remember when we shared an office together?" HA! I guess I got around.
After the happy hour, Kristin/Mike, John/Dana and I went to dinner at Wildfire. We had reservations for 8:00pm. The great evening continued with a delicious dinner. And of course the memories and laughs kept flowing. We had opened Pandora's box at the happy hour and kept it going reminiscing during dinner. Gosh I love Kristin and John. It is so wonderful to be around people who truly get how amazing this job was with the people we were lucky to work with.
Without a doubt that had to have been the best 5 years of my life working in an office.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Dropping Crazy.
For the last week of January and the first 3 weeks of February, The Crazy Man took his annual Winter trip to warmer climates. This go-around had him on an 11 night cruise to the Panama Canal and 3 weeks in Boca Raton, FL.
Due to much conflict with The Crazy Man’s girlfriend, the whole trip even happening was touch-n-go. From the planning to the booking of the cruise to even communicating when the plane took off, The Crazy Man kept calling it off. His threshold for dealing with the girlfriend is at an all-time low. All of this drama added to the usual hysteria of getting him ready for travel. The Crazy Man had me counting down the minutes until it was time for the plane to take off. My fingers and toes were crossed he’d be on the plane.
Fortunately
for me, the trip did occur. And other
than hearing from him 1 day after he left to help him get a new hearing aid
replaced that he lost for his left ear, his time away from me was very
peaceful. I loved not hearing from
him. I loved my afternoons after
finishing work at the preschool being free until the kids got out of school.
When The
Crazy Man returned home and I went back to working for him, I realized just how
bad he is. He is CRAZY! I mean, really crazy!! He means well, but I don’t think I can put up
with it anymore.
I want to
quit. I don’t think I can. I’ve worked for him over 3 years. I do a great job and I am not sure anyone
else is going to be able to pick up where I left off. He is 77 years old and he is losing the
sharpness he once had. I can remember
places, people, tests, phone numbers, etc from years back. No one, no matter how competent they are, is
going to have this history. One of the
things that makes me as successful as I am assisting him is my memory. I can recall so much. Furthermore, all these doctor offices’
nurses, receptionists, office managers, technicians, pharmacists know me. I don’t even have to identify myself anymore,
let alone get The Crazy Man to tell them they have permission to talk to
me. This didn’t happen overnight. It would take months for a new person to
build up to this kind of access; that’s saying a new person would last that
long. The Crazy Man wouldn’t have
patience to break someone else in and he doesn’t do well with stupidity.
I look
out for The Crazy Man’s best interests. The last assistant he had took advantage
of all the access she had and stole tens of thousands of dollars from him. It would probably still be going on if she
hadn’t ended up in jail with a DUI. It
was only then that he opened his own mail and saw the bank and credit card
statements.
My quitting
would be devastating. I am not sure he
would recover. I know how much relies on me. I don’t know what to do. On one hand, he is 77. So how much more time would I actually have
if I stuck it out? But on the other hand,
it’s not my problem. If I want to quit, I
should be able to quit and not feel bad about it. We
are employer/employee; nothing more. It’s
not like he is a family member and I am abandoning him.
I’ve gotten
close to quitting. This past week, he
received a new Marriott/Chase branded credit card. He wanted me to call Chase and find out why
the card they sent him was a different color than the one in his wallet. The Crazy Man wanted to verify that all his
benefits/rewards will remain the same. Long story short, all Chase did was send The Crazy
Man a new credit card for his expiring one.
No biggie, right? Apparently
somewhere along the way, he was told he would never have an annual fee for this
card. And, you guessed it, he has been
paying a fee each and every year. The
Crazy Man goes off the deep end and now the letter writing campaign begins in
full-force. A letter is getting written
to the President of Marriot and the President of Chase. And for good measure, let’s contact Channel 7
On Your Side. He is sure they’d like to
hear about this act of injustice.
As soon as
The Crazy Man said the words “Channel 7 On Your Side…” I looked at him and
said, “I’m done. I can’t do this
anymore.” When The Crazy Man asked why,
I replied with “Channel 7 On Your Side doesn’t care about this. This is a wild goose chase. I can’t do it anymore.”
The Crazy
Man quickly tossed aside the idea to contact the news media and said we didn’t
need to worry about them. Oh goody! The Crazy Man deserves to have someone
working for him who doesn’t mind contacting everyone under the sun. He deserves to have someone who doesn’t get
so excited at the thought of him leaving town.
Or someone who isn’t counting down to how many years he may have
left. It just can’t be me anymore.
So I’ve been
gathering all his 2014 tax forms (banking, mortgage, investment accounts, prescription
medication costs, charitable donations, etc) to send to his accountant. After The Crazy Man returned from being gone
for a month, he went through all this mail (A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT!) and I knew
all the forms I’d need would be somewhere in this pile. After a reasonable amount of time, I asked
The Crazy Man if he came across any of the tax forms I needed. His answer?
“I made two piles, one stack with all the important stuff and one stack
that could get thrown away. I think the
maid threw everything away.” UGH!! Let me say that again, UGH!! So now I am contacting all these places and
seeing if they have the tax forms online that I can print. Some do have it easy to find on their
websites and others don’t. Some have it
that it can be printed out and some need to put it in the mail. What a mess!
Oh, and the clock is ticking! We
are about to enter the month of March.
The accountant needs to have everything by March 25th to
avoid having to file for an extension.
Lastly, and this is huge, I have to hope that when some of these forms come
in the mail (for the 2nd time!), they actually make it to me and
doesn’t get lost or thrown away.
My dream is
to get The Crazy Man through tax season and then quit. Maybe I will tell him that I will stay to
April. In the meantime we can look for someone to replace me and I can help
train them. A month’s notice is plenty
of time, right? Ugh. I just don’t know
if I can go through with it. I am
genuinely worried about what will become of him.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Jeff's BIG day!
I am admitting it; it is bittersweet. While it is necessary for everyone's sanity that he has a purpose to his day and somewhere to go, it was very nice having him around. If we didn't need money to live on, I'd actually be fine having him around all the time. The Jeff we got to experience this past month and a half was relaxed, funny, helpful, and a joy to be around. Fortunately he didn't freak out at all about being unemployed and having to find a new job. The first interview he went on after being let go is the company he decided to work for. Jeff took time and worked the process of checking out a bunch of other companies, going on interviews, speaking with recruiters and making sure this is who he wanted to say 'yes' to. Then it took a while to get the background check finalized and to hear the first official day would be September 22nd.
Each day Sam would look at Jeff and ask when he would finally be getting a job. Then she'd comment how he should've never left Sapient, the company he was with 5 years before trying something new that didn't work out. Leave it to Sam to tell it like it is.
Jeff had to dust off his alarm clock and set it once again this morning. He is back among the working world. I am no longer the sole breadwinner. Ha! Ha! If you knew what I make in a month, you would find this highly entertaining too! We are extremely fortunate that between the 2 weeks notice, 2 weeks severance, and small amount of vacation time he had built up in only 3 months, we had a little more than 1 week without his paycheck. But the 6 weeks he got to recover from the disaster that was his last job is priceless. Believe me it was a nightmare to be around him for those 3 months he was working. He was constantly stressed, freaking out, and working around the clock not sure he was doing anything right. Now Jeff is heading to this new company relaxed, rested and ready to do great things!
We managed to keep life as close to normal as possible while the fate of when Jeff would be bringing home the 'bacon' was getting figured out. Other than not signing Sam up for gymnastics or being able to follow through with all the donations I've verbally committed to, we did ok. Oh yeah, and now I can order my photo books I made from my trip to Israel and our week at the beach. Kudos to Jeff for not being ultra-conservative and suggesting we stop the newspaper being delivered and/or get cable tv turned off. Or G-d forbid, asking me not to go to the movies.
We will go back to our regularly scheduled life with Jeff leaving the house bright and early each weekday morning. And I am back to juggling the kids before and after school solo. It will take some getting used to, but I think we will adjust just fine.
Friday, June 6, 2014
More crazy tales from the crypt
Two days before The Crazy Man and his girlfriend are set to take a trip to Atlantic City for a few days, he tells me he has lost his EZ Pass transponder. Just so you know what I am dealing with, this is the 3rd one in a year's time. I called EZ Pass and ask for a replacement transponder to be sent to his house. I tell the Crazy Man I am also going to report the one he can't find as lost. My fear is that someone will find it and be able to use it. The Crazy Man agrees.
As a side note, The Crazy Man and the girlfriend stay at the Showboat Casino. He even reports back to me the room is better than he expected. However, upon initially stepping foot into his hotel room, he notices the television is an old style tube tv. He calls down to the front desk and for the next 15 minutes discusses with them how he doesn't like the older style televisions and wants a flat screen. Somehow Showboat complies and switches out his tv. The Crazy Man is super excited about getting his way and can't wait to tell me this story upon my first day back working for him. (WHO DOES THAT!?!?!?? Seriously!! This is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. If the tv didn't work, I get it. But the tv worked. And are you really staying in a hotel to watch the tv anyway?!?! He was only going to be there for 2 nights, which by the way turned into staying for a 3rd night).
Anyway, The Crazy Man comes back to town and asks me to find out how much the tolls are up and back to Atlantic City. Here is our conversation:
Me: Ok, I can look at the Ez Pass website and add up the transactions from when you went through the toll booths. Oh wait, you didn't have the Ez Pass to use for your trip. The replacement one wouldn't have made it to you in time.
The Crazy Man: No, I did use an Ez Pass. I found the one I thought was lost. I used that one.
Me: WHAT? Crazy Man, that was reported as lost/stolen. IT WAS TURNED OFF!!! You basically went through each toll and never paid.
The Crazy Man: Oh no! You need to call Ez Pass and let them know. I need to pay for those tolls. I don't want to get fined.
Me: Fine. I will call. (UGH!!!).
I come to find out that each state handles toll violations separately. Meaning, I need to call VA, MD, DE, and NJ and speak to each state about what happens when you don't pay the toll. And get this, because The Crazy Man was driving his girlfriend's car, he has no idea what the license plate is. So I am asking for information about a car I can't even describe for them to look up. Lovely!
A few days later once I get the license plate info, I start making the calls. I speak to each state and am given the same advice. Wait until the violation notice comes in the mail and then appeal it. It could take up to 6 weeks before all the footage is viewed and the toll violators are sent notices. And because it was in the girlfriend's car, all the toll violation notices are going to go to her house. Have I mentioned she is not a very pleasant person? I am sure when The Crazy Man explained to her what happened and to be on the lookout for 4 states to fine her (up and back!), she was ready to kick him to the curb. Each appeal I am supposed to say that The Crazy Man is a retired gentleman on a fixed income who just had cataract surgery. He used the wrong transponder by accident and didn't realize it wasn't activated. He would like to pay the toll, but not the additional fine.
We've already gotten in a notice from Delaware. Another one came from New Jersey, but I haven't seen it yet. You see I have to rely on The Crazy Man to bring it back from the girlfriend's house and hand it to me. This could take awhile. In fact, this whole toll violation process could very well take all Summer long.
For those who are wondering, The Crazy Man is now working two transponders. I got the one that was reported lost and found again reactivated. And he has the new replacement transponder activated too. I should not have to call EZ Pass for another transponder for at least 6 months now.
As a side note, The Crazy Man and the girlfriend stay at the Showboat Casino. He even reports back to me the room is better than he expected. However, upon initially stepping foot into his hotel room, he notices the television is an old style tube tv. He calls down to the front desk and for the next 15 minutes discusses with them how he doesn't like the older style televisions and wants a flat screen. Somehow Showboat complies and switches out his tv. The Crazy Man is super excited about getting his way and can't wait to tell me this story upon my first day back working for him. (WHO DOES THAT!?!?!?? Seriously!! This is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. If the tv didn't work, I get it. But the tv worked. And are you really staying in a hotel to watch the tv anyway?!?! He was only going to be there for 2 nights, which by the way turned into staying for a 3rd night).
Anyway, The Crazy Man comes back to town and asks me to find out how much the tolls are up and back to Atlantic City. Here is our conversation:
Me: Ok, I can look at the Ez Pass website and add up the transactions from when you went through the toll booths. Oh wait, you didn't have the Ez Pass to use for your trip. The replacement one wouldn't have made it to you in time.
The Crazy Man: No, I did use an Ez Pass. I found the one I thought was lost. I used that one.
Me: WHAT? Crazy Man, that was reported as lost/stolen. IT WAS TURNED OFF!!! You basically went through each toll and never paid.
The Crazy Man: Oh no! You need to call Ez Pass and let them know. I need to pay for those tolls. I don't want to get fined.
Me: Fine. I will call. (UGH!!!).
I come to find out that each state handles toll violations separately. Meaning, I need to call VA, MD, DE, and NJ and speak to each state about what happens when you don't pay the toll. And get this, because The Crazy Man was driving his girlfriend's car, he has no idea what the license plate is. So I am asking for information about a car I can't even describe for them to look up. Lovely!
A few days later once I get the license plate info, I start making the calls. I speak to each state and am given the same advice. Wait until the violation notice comes in the mail and then appeal it. It could take up to 6 weeks before all the footage is viewed and the toll violators are sent notices. And because it was in the girlfriend's car, all the toll violation notices are going to go to her house. Have I mentioned she is not a very pleasant person? I am sure when The Crazy Man explained to her what happened and to be on the lookout for 4 states to fine her (up and back!), she was ready to kick him to the curb. Each appeal I am supposed to say that The Crazy Man is a retired gentleman on a fixed income who just had cataract surgery. He used the wrong transponder by accident and didn't realize it wasn't activated. He would like to pay the toll, but not the additional fine.
We've already gotten in a notice from Delaware. Another one came from New Jersey, but I haven't seen it yet. You see I have to rely on The Crazy Man to bring it back from the girlfriend's house and hand it to me. This could take awhile. In fact, this whole toll violation process could very well take all Summer long.
For those who are wondering, The Crazy Man is now working two transponders. I got the one that was reported lost and found again reactivated. And he has the new replacement transponder activated too. I should not have to call EZ Pass for another transponder for at least 6 months now.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Jeff's new gig
A couple of months ago, my husband was contacted with a job opportunity too good to pass up. After much research and thinking on Jeff's part to make sure he was making the right choice, he started working for this new company on May 5th. They are based in Boston, but have a Washington, D.C. office. It's all very exciting and I know Jeff will do amazing in this new position.
I am still trying to get used to Jeff's new work schedule. He is giving this job everything he's got. He leaves for work by 6:35am in the mornings and doesn't usually get home until 8:00pmish. It makes for a long day for him, me and the kids. The past few weeks have been challenging. I am sure in a few months he will have gotten in a groove and make having dinner with the family a regular thing again.
The biggest change for me is not hearing from him throughout the day. Since we met over 11 years ago, Jeff has always called or texted to see how my day is going. We usually spoke at least once, sometimes twice each day. Now, I don't hear from Jeff at all. It is so weird. Something I am not getting used to.
Until the dust settles and Jeff can get his head above water, I am single mothering it. I meet my friend each morning at 5:15am to walk. I get back home at 6:30am before Jeff leaves for work. I get the kids to school, work my part-time jobs, handle all after-school activities with the kids and make us dinner, while keeping Jeff's warm in the oven. I then work on getting Sam down to bed. It makes for a very long day. A huge round of cheers for moms (or dads) who do this by themselves all the time, since day one. It's not easy.
I am not complaining. I am just stating things the way they are. Its our new normal. Just need to get used to it.
I am still trying to get used to Jeff's new work schedule. He is giving this job everything he's got. He leaves for work by 6:35am in the mornings and doesn't usually get home until 8:00pmish. It makes for a long day for him, me and the kids. The past few weeks have been challenging. I am sure in a few months he will have gotten in a groove and make having dinner with the family a regular thing again.
The biggest change for me is not hearing from him throughout the day. Since we met over 11 years ago, Jeff has always called or texted to see how my day is going. We usually spoke at least once, sometimes twice each day. Now, I don't hear from Jeff at all. It is so weird. Something I am not getting used to.
Until the dust settles and Jeff can get his head above water, I am single mothering it. I meet my friend each morning at 5:15am to walk. I get back home at 6:30am before Jeff leaves for work. I get the kids to school, work my part-time jobs, handle all after-school activities with the kids and make us dinner, while keeping Jeff's warm in the oven. I then work on getting Sam down to bed. It makes for a very long day. A huge round of cheers for moms (or dads) who do this by themselves all the time, since day one. It's not easy.
I am not complaining. I am just stating things the way they are. Its our new normal. Just need to get used to it.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
A Funny Tale From The Crypt
This went down one afternoon while working for The Crazy Man:
Crazy Man: Please call Sue. I want to see if she can go to a dance. Dial her number and I'll pick up.
Me: Ok
Dialing Sue's phone number. It rings and rings. Her answering machine answers. Since The Crazy Man never picked up (which happens from time to time), I start leaving a message.
Me: Hi Sue. I am calling on behalf of the Crazy Man. He would like to speak to you when get a chance. Please give him a call at
Crazy Man (picking up on the other extension): Hello?
Me: Yes, Crazy Man, Sue isn't there. I am leaving her a message right now.
Crazy Man: When is that dance?
Me: It's on April 14th. That's a Monday. The dance is located in Falls Church.
Crazy Man: What? Falls Church?
Me: Yes, Falls Church.
Crazy Man: And did you say it was the 14th?
Me: Yes, April 14th.
Crazy Man: What band did I want to see again?
Me: It's for ----
Crazy Man: Ok, I will wait for the beep and leave the message.
Me: The beep happened a long time ago. This conversation is her message.
Crazy Man: Oh. Ok. When I get off the phone, we need to call Dr. X and tell them about the medication. And we need to write a check to my neighbor for yardwork he did. Make it for $216. Write in the memo: $216 for materials, $4 for labor.
Me: That doesn't really add up. Do you want me to make the check for $220?
Crazy Man: Yes, that's what I meant. $220. And, we need to call Janie and give her my son's new address.
Me: Ok.
Crazy Man: Why don't you hang up and I will finish leaving a message.
Me: Ok.
Crazy Man: Hi, this is The Crazy Man. Please give me a call at xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Yeah, I'm sure she's got his number. The number to looney bin that is.
Crazy Man: Please call Sue. I want to see if she can go to a dance. Dial her number and I'll pick up.
Me: Ok
Dialing Sue's phone number. It rings and rings. Her answering machine answers. Since The Crazy Man never picked up (which happens from time to time), I start leaving a message.
Me: Hi Sue. I am calling on behalf of the Crazy Man. He would like to speak to you when get a chance. Please give him a call at
Crazy Man (picking up on the other extension): Hello?
Me: Yes, Crazy Man, Sue isn't there. I am leaving her a message right now.
Crazy Man: When is that dance?
Me: It's on April 14th. That's a Monday. The dance is located in Falls Church.
Crazy Man: What? Falls Church?
Me: Yes, Falls Church.
Crazy Man: And did you say it was the 14th?
Me: Yes, April 14th.
Crazy Man: What band did I want to see again?
Me: It's for ----
Crazy Man: Ok, I will wait for the beep and leave the message.
Me: The beep happened a long time ago. This conversation is her message.
Crazy Man: Oh. Ok. When I get off the phone, we need to call Dr. X and tell them about the medication. And we need to write a check to my neighbor for yardwork he did. Make it for $216. Write in the memo: $216 for materials, $4 for labor.
Me: That doesn't really add up. Do you want me to make the check for $220?
Crazy Man: Yes, that's what I meant. $220. And, we need to call Janie and give her my son's new address.
Me: Ok.
Crazy Man: Why don't you hang up and I will finish leaving a message.
Me: Ok.
Crazy Man: Hi, this is The Crazy Man. Please give me a call at xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Yeah, I'm sure she's got his number. The number to looney bin that is.
Friday, February 7, 2014
A travel tale from the Crypt
I don't think I've ever fully explained what is involved getting The Crazy Man ready for a trip. It's not the normal "let's look at the upcoming weather forecast for the city I'll be staying in" and decide what kind of clothing is needed. Nor is it as simple as stopping the mail or the newspaper for the time The Crazy Man is away. Oh no, it's so much more than that. It's actually a process that starts many weeks in advance.
In order to get The Crazy Man to leave the NoVa area (either by plane, car, train or boat), the following gets done (by me!):
A Notebook (1 inch in diameter) is created. The following sections are included:
-A list of emergency contacts with name and phone numbers
-A list of the doctors, medical professionals, and pharmacy contact info - complete with names, nurses, phone numbers.
-A sheet that includes anywhere from 5 to 10 names and phone numbers of who The Crazy Man wants to call while he is away.
-A xeroxed copy of all the current credit cards and drivers license (including phone numbers on who to call if it needs to be reported lost or stolen)
-A xeroxed copy of the passport
-A xeroxed copy of car insurance info, health insurance card and triple A card
-Return address labels, stamps, his son's address labels to send postcards.
-FedEx prepaid labels ready to send boxes back. (Not sure what is in these boxes he ships back. But he always ships a box or two back from wherever he's been).
Ok, so that is the binder that needs to be created. And unfortunately, the information is always changing, so this information does not get transferred from one trip to another.
Next a day-timer gets created. It is one of those pocket calendar type books that have a spiral bound and each page is a different week. Only, The Crazy Man uses a day-timer from 2005 or sometimes older. Yes, really. So what I do is create these mini-pages on the computer and then tape them into the first few pages of a 2005 pocket calendar. In the day-timer goes the following information:
A detailed trip itinerary that has flight info (airline phone number, confirmation #, date, flight #, time departing, time arriving, seat #s), hotel info (address, phone number, confirmation #, date checking in, date checking out, number of nights staying), car rental info (phone number, confirmation #, date and time picking up the car, date and time dropping off the car). And any other reservation information -- for example all the cruise info.
I also include a few blank pages because The Crazy Man loves to take notes. The rest of the day-timer sports calendar pages that are over 9 years old. Personally, that would drive me crazy, but The Crazy Man loves to recycle.
It should be noted that with each reservation that has been made (hotel, car, etc), I've called to find out the General Manager's name and direct phone number. The Crazy Man (as soon as he knows he'll be traveling) has spoken to the General Manager many times about his impending visit. About what? Who the hell knows, but he finds something or other that has the utmost importance to be discussed. So all of the General Manager's contact info is also included with this trip itinerary info.
Other items to be taken care of to prepare The Crazy Man for travel is:
1. Calling all his various banks and seeing if they can get in (100) $2.00 bills. But they must be BRAND NEW. Never been used. Just so you know, banks can not request hot-off-the-press brand spanking new $2 bills. But I always try. And I always have to make the request to see what they do receive. This is always a fun exercise to do a few times a year. The Crazy Man gets a kick out of handing out new $2 bills in whatever town he is visiting.
2. Calling all his various banks to see how many gold $1 coins they have available for him to get. He likes these to be brand new too, but it isn't a deal breaker. He also needs to know which president is on the coins before he decides if he'll go get them.
3. Stopping his newspaper and mail for the time he is away. However, even if The Crazy Man lands at 11:30pm on the evening of his return, he will still want the newspaper delivered that day.
4. The Crazy Man always has me call both UPS and FedEx to find out who will offer the best rate on shipping boxes back. These boxes don't actually exist yet. I use imaginary specs and weight to see what the shipping rate will be.
5. Calling the Walmart Pharmacy and finding out how many refills are left on each of his many, many prescriptions. He wants to know that if he has to get a refill it will be available without having to call the doctor to get a new prescription written. If there are no refills left, then I have to call that specific doctor (while also the pharmacy is doing it too) and make sure they get a new prescription on file. I give it a day or two and then call everyone again (pharmacy and doctor) to make sure it got done.
6. Doing an analysis with a few different car rental places to see who will offer the best rate. Then, once a car rental place is chosen and a reservation is made, I have to call AAA and find out if they will match the rate through their car rental program. I have to make sure I've spoken with a supervisor to make sure they understand that they could lose potential business by not matching the rate. BTW, they have yet to match the lowest rate we've already managed to find.
6. For this particular trip The Crazy Man wanted to speak with Princess Cruise Lines many, many times. His most outrageous request was asking if they could move Talent Night on the ship to earlier in the week. Again, I have to ask myself, 'What the hell!?!?' I think he simply dreams this stuff up to see how much he can get away with. Seriously, he was putting in a request to get Talent Night on the night he wanted it to be. Who does that!?!?! Also, the woman he is traveling with is an Elite cruise member. She has sailed over 185 days which means she is entitled to many privileges that normal cruise travelers don't get. The Crazy Man wanted to discuss in detail the Elite status they will be enjoying on board. For example, they get a complimentary minibar in their room. Many questions stemmed from this particular benefit: What gets stocked in the minibar? How often will it be restocked? Do we have to call to get it restocked? What if we only drink the water from it? What if we drink one kind of liquor but not another? What if we need it restocked more than you normally do? Once he got "Elite status" confirmed with one staff member, I had to make sure another 3 or 4 people associated with Princess Cruise Lines also was aware of this.
7. Calling Triple A is always lots of fun. The Crazy Man wants driving maps of everything under the sun. Directions to all the museums, shopping, theatres and a listing of all the performances and shows playing for the time they are in the city. I've offered to do this for him through google, but he is determined to use Triple A. I think this an old school thing. He loves the format it gets mailed to him in. However, it takes a few calls of bugging them over and over again before we can leave Triple A alone.
There are a few other things that needs to get done in preparation but the above items are the big ones.
The thing that really gets me is when I've done all this work and then at the last minute The Crazy Man will tell me he has switched hotels, or decided to change the car rental agency they are using. That's the stuff that drives me crazy.
By the time The Crazy Man has left town, I am a happy girl seeing him go.
In order to get The Crazy Man to leave the NoVa area (either by plane, car, train or boat), the following gets done (by me!):
A Notebook (1 inch in diameter) is created. The following sections are included:
- Reservation Confirmations
- Phone numbers
-A list of emergency contacts with name and phone numbers
-A list of the doctors, medical professionals, and pharmacy contact info - complete with names, nurses, phone numbers.
-A sheet that includes anywhere from 5 to 10 names and phone numbers of who The Crazy Man wants to call while he is away.
- Back-up Info
-A xeroxed copy of all the current credit cards and drivers license (including phone numbers on who to call if it needs to be reported lost or stolen)
-A xeroxed copy of the passport
-A xeroxed copy of car insurance info, health insurance card and triple A card
- Other Info
-Return address labels, stamps, his son's address labels to send postcards.
-FedEx prepaid labels ready to send boxes back. (Not sure what is in these boxes he ships back. But he always ships a box or two back from wherever he's been).
Ok, so that is the binder that needs to be created. And unfortunately, the information is always changing, so this information does not get transferred from one trip to another.
Next a day-timer gets created. It is one of those pocket calendar type books that have a spiral bound and each page is a different week. Only, The Crazy Man uses a day-timer from 2005 or sometimes older. Yes, really. So what I do is create these mini-pages on the computer and then tape them into the first few pages of a 2005 pocket calendar. In the day-timer goes the following information:
A detailed trip itinerary that has flight info (airline phone number, confirmation #, date, flight #, time departing, time arriving, seat #s), hotel info (address, phone number, confirmation #, date checking in, date checking out, number of nights staying), car rental info (phone number, confirmation #, date and time picking up the car, date and time dropping off the car). And any other reservation information -- for example all the cruise info.
I also include a few blank pages because The Crazy Man loves to take notes. The rest of the day-timer sports calendar pages that are over 9 years old. Personally, that would drive me crazy, but The Crazy Man loves to recycle.
It should be noted that with each reservation that has been made (hotel, car, etc), I've called to find out the General Manager's name and direct phone number. The Crazy Man (as soon as he knows he'll be traveling) has spoken to the General Manager many times about his impending visit. About what? Who the hell knows, but he finds something or other that has the utmost importance to be discussed. So all of the General Manager's contact info is also included with this trip itinerary info.
Other items to be taken care of to prepare The Crazy Man for travel is:
1. Calling all his various banks and seeing if they can get in (100) $2.00 bills. But they must be BRAND NEW. Never been used. Just so you know, banks can not request hot-off-the-press brand spanking new $2 bills. But I always try. And I always have to make the request to see what they do receive. This is always a fun exercise to do a few times a year. The Crazy Man gets a kick out of handing out new $2 bills in whatever town he is visiting.
2. Calling all his various banks to see how many gold $1 coins they have available for him to get. He likes these to be brand new too, but it isn't a deal breaker. He also needs to know which president is on the coins before he decides if he'll go get them.
3. Stopping his newspaper and mail for the time he is away. However, even if The Crazy Man lands at 11:30pm on the evening of his return, he will still want the newspaper delivered that day.
4. The Crazy Man always has me call both UPS and FedEx to find out who will offer the best rate on shipping boxes back. These boxes don't actually exist yet. I use imaginary specs and weight to see what the shipping rate will be.
5. Calling the Walmart Pharmacy and finding out how many refills are left on each of his many, many prescriptions. He wants to know that if he has to get a refill it will be available without having to call the doctor to get a new prescription written. If there are no refills left, then I have to call that specific doctor (while also the pharmacy is doing it too) and make sure they get a new prescription on file. I give it a day or two and then call everyone again (pharmacy and doctor) to make sure it got done.
6. Doing an analysis with a few different car rental places to see who will offer the best rate. Then, once a car rental place is chosen and a reservation is made, I have to call AAA and find out if they will match the rate through their car rental program. I have to make sure I've spoken with a supervisor to make sure they understand that they could lose potential business by not matching the rate. BTW, they have yet to match the lowest rate we've already managed to find.
6. For this particular trip The Crazy Man wanted to speak with Princess Cruise Lines many, many times. His most outrageous request was asking if they could move Talent Night on the ship to earlier in the week. Again, I have to ask myself, 'What the hell!?!?' I think he simply dreams this stuff up to see how much he can get away with. Seriously, he was putting in a request to get Talent Night on the night he wanted it to be. Who does that!?!?! Also, the woman he is traveling with is an Elite cruise member. She has sailed over 185 days which means she is entitled to many privileges that normal cruise travelers don't get. The Crazy Man wanted to discuss in detail the Elite status they will be enjoying on board. For example, they get a complimentary minibar in their room. Many questions stemmed from this particular benefit: What gets stocked in the minibar? How often will it be restocked? Do we have to call to get it restocked? What if we only drink the water from it? What if we drink one kind of liquor but not another? What if we need it restocked more than you normally do? Once he got "Elite status" confirmed with one staff member, I had to make sure another 3 or 4 people associated with Princess Cruise Lines also was aware of this.
7. Calling Triple A is always lots of fun. The Crazy Man wants driving maps of everything under the sun. Directions to all the museums, shopping, theatres and a listing of all the performances and shows playing for the time they are in the city. I've offered to do this for him through google, but he is determined to use Triple A. I think this an old school thing. He loves the format it gets mailed to him in. However, it takes a few calls of bugging them over and over again before we can leave Triple A alone.
There are a few other things that needs to get done in preparation but the above items are the big ones.
The thing that really gets me is when I've done all this work and then at the last minute The Crazy Man will tell me he has switched hotels, or decided to change the car rental agency they are using. That's the stuff that drives me crazy.
By the time The Crazy Man has left town, I am a happy girl seeing him go.
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