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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

More tales from the Crypt

"OY!!" is all I can say most days. The Man (you know, the guy I work part-time for) is still going strong.  I have come to the conclusion (having really studied him over the past 10 months) some evident truths -- he thinks he is more important than he really is, has ADDHD (how else to explain getting distracted from working on something as important as reporting fraud to throwing me off on some tangent to track down a magic store in Illinois or tell him how he can find a girlfriend on an online dating site), and The Man really doesn't like anyone who doesn't speak clearly with an American accent.  G-d forbid they have the slightest accent, he'll hang right up on them and call back until someone speaking English answers the phone.

Some interesting things I've been working on.  The Man wants to be the very first car to ride on the new Express Lanes on the Beltway.  Who in the world dreams this stuff up? So, I tracked down the guy who is in charge of the Mega projects.  Turns out The Man can be the first car when the Express Lanes open.  It will be at 2:00am on Saturday morning.  This bit of info does not deter The Man from wanting to show up.  In fact, he then gets me on a hunt for the name and number of someone who can lend him a vintage automobile to do this drive in.  Somewhere along the way, VDOT did the ribbon cutting ceremony during a more reasonable time of the day, days before the lanes officially opened.  No one contacted The Man to be there for this event. 

Additionally, there have been numerous hours spent helping him draft  (2) 10 page letters to the State and administration at the hospital on his recent hospital stay (Don't worry, nothing serious.  And, nothing that impeded  him from getting the names of about 6 Hospital staff and write direct quotes from what they said).  One letter deals directly with how dirty his hospital room was.  The other letter was on the lack of patient care.  And while editing and adding to these letters, I've been getting on the horn to call "60 Minutes", "7 On Your Side", "Washington Post", "Washington Times" to see if they are interested in this story.  So far, no one has bitten.

And don't get me started on the "Kennedy Center Honors" and the letter he is working on for that.  Apparently he attended legitimately in 1983 and got to dance with Lauren Becall (who said he was an exceptional dancer).  He's gone back for many years after, but without a ticket.  He has crashed the Kennedy Center Honors dance many, many times and gotten away with it.  Now, the head event person has figured out who he is and what he looks like.  He's never allowed back in, even if he had a ticket.  He is trying to figure out a way around this.

I've told him that after I leave his place, my day is awfully mellow.  And, that's hard to do with being a mother to a four year old.  I can't beat the flexibility I have working for him.  It's nice that I only work when Sam is in preschool and am always available for the kids when they are home.  But, I do dream of working one day for someone who is a bit more grounded and doesn't have such grandiose ideas.

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