Sam, Swimming, and Survival.

I have one last post about our week at the beach.  This one involves Sam and her ability to swim. 

My dream is to be sitting on a chair (wearing regular clothes) with my kindle in one hand, reading a book, while the kids are splashing around in the pool having a great time with their friends.   I see other moms regularly doing this and I drool with envy. I figure I am about 2 years away from it being optional if I get wet or not. 

My reality is that I HAVE TO wear a bathing suit and need to be in the water, within arm's reach of Samantha, G-d forbid something should happen.  Even with lifeguards around, I take full responsibility for watching my kids in the water.  This is my job to make sure they are safe.

While we were at the pool during our week at Emerald Isle, I stepped out of the pool and sat on a nearby chair to dry off.  I kept my eye on Sam who was hanging on to her inner tube, floating around the pool.  At one point, Sam and her float wandered to the middle of the pool, where the water was way over her head.  She accidentally came out of the inner tube and slipped under the water.  I got to my feet and quickly walked to the edge of the pool that was the closest to where she was.  I was very ready to jump in and get her, but noticed something very cool.  As soon as Sam realized her inner tube floated away from her and she was in over her head, her survival instincts kicked in and she began the swim to the side of the pool.  She didn't panic and used her head.  She instantly knew what she needed to do and did it.  I was so proud of her!  When she reached the side, I pulled her out and gave her a HUGE hug and kiss. 

And as I was describing what just happened to my friend Kelly, Sam went right back in the water and ended up doing the whole thing again.  This second situation was also an accident on her part.   Sam did it twice!

Sam has been taking swim lessons all year long.  I knew she can swim, but I would never have known that she could hold her own in a 'crisis' situation, unless I had seen it for myself.  She didn't panic!  That's my girl! 

Swim.

There are few things more thrilling than when you see your child do something for the first time.  It doesn't matter that an older sibling acquired that skill years ago and is a master at it now.  When each child learns how to crawl, walk, talk, read, write, etc., it becomes a monumental moment all on its own.  This is what makes being a mother worth it.  Seeing the delight and surprise when they realize they are actually doing it is so exciting.  It is a wonderful mix of emotions for me too. I love watching the kids grow, blossom into little people and become their own person.  I do find it a little bittersweet that it means this is it...there is no going back to the way things were. We can only build on this skill and keep moving on, developing more and needing me less. 

We hit a huge milestone during our week in N.C.  After each morning after the beach, we'd spend a few hours at the pool.  Sam was very content wearing her arm floaties and doing her own thing in the pool.  It was actually nice not having to worry about her safety and know that she would stay afloat as long as the water wings were on her arm.  On our 2nd afternoon in the pool, Sam took off her arm floaties and asked for her goggles.  She usually likes to put them on her head for all of a minute and then the novelty wears off.  However, this time, she put the goggles on her head and told me to stand back a couple of feet.  Sam took the plunge and swam to me.  Yes, she held her breath, put her head underwater and used her arms and feet to kick to me.  It was an incredibly surreal moment.  Sam can swim!  She can really swim!  Then Sam did it again and again and again.  There was no stopping her.  Each time she told me to move further away from her.  Towards the end of our time at the pool, Sam was swimming at least 1/4 of the length of the pool.  She could go as far as her breath being held would allow her. 

We are light years ahead of where Ian was in his swimming skills at age 4.  Ian was still afraid to get his head wet and wouldn't go in water that would get him wet above his shoulders.  I never expected Sam to take to swimming like she has.  Ian had lessons upon lesson upon lessons, pretty much year round (mostly private lessons at that) since he was 18 months old.  It took forever for him to be comfortable in the pool.  Sam, on the other hand, has only had group lessons this past year and then when it came time to do private lessons this summer, our fave swim instructor had to drop us due to a conflict of interest.  So I let it go and didn't look for someone else to take over.  With very minimal instruction, Sam has figured out how to swim all on her own.  Of course, we will continue with instruction this school year so she can keep it up and get better, but it is amazing how well she is doing.

Time and time again, Sam has proven she does every thing on her own timetable.  She is amazing that girl.

Swimming lessons continued...

Believe it or not, these swim lessons are still creating lots of drama for me.  I was hoping that by now (well, truth be told, after the 1st lesson) that Jeff and I could fully divide & conquer.  I would take Sam for her lesson at 10:00am and be long gone by the time Jeff got there with Ian, for his lesson at 11:00am.  Ha!

I can't do it.  I simply can't leave the building knowing Ian is about to have his lesson.  There is something in me that has me stuck to the chair wanting to watch Ian.  I've become obsessed where they've placed him and who his instructor is.

While I love the place we are taking the swim lessons and can't beat the price, convenience of location or the parking situation, I fully realize that the right instructor will make or break the lesson.  Now, that I've made certain that Sam and Ian will never have that first chick, the instructors for one reason or another, keep changing.  Oy!   The irony is, the assistant swim director sees me first thing in the morning and comes over to fill me in on who my kids are having.  It is quite funny really, given that she doesn't bother to tell any of the other parents their kids are getting a different instructor.   I told her it is fine if Ian gets somebody different each time, but my 3 year old can't seem to go with the flow.  I need to give her a little warning if there will be a new teacher. 

They got a clue pretty quickly when Sam was given her 3rd new teacher in 4 weeks and refused to go in the pool.  Now they've assured me Miss A. will be back each Saturday.   You should see how I talked up Miss A. for the 6 days leading up to her 2nd lesson with her.  Anyone listening nearby would've thought Miss A. was my long lost sister.

I am not certain why they can't seem to keep consistency from week to week, but I've long stopped questioning that.  Now I am sitting on the edge of seat, with my eyes glued to the pool, making sure both kids are in the water and moving.  There is still a class (Ian's old group) standing by the side of pool hardly doing anything.  Yes, I am watching all the kids get their lessons!

I don't think I have it in me to walk away and let these lessons happen without me watching.  The endless grilling of questions I would give Jeff and Ian upon their return would be longer than the lesson itself.  And anyone who has seen Jeff at the lessons knows that its "Angry Birds" that has his attention.

Maybe this is what helicopter parenting is all about.  If so, then I am definitely in the pilot's seat. 

The power of speaking up.

So these swim lessons I keep talking about...let me tell you a thing or two about them.  The place the kids are taking them at is very well run and highly organized.  I was super impressed with the set-up and couldn't ask for a more convenient location or easier parking. 

In previous years, we had Ian doing private lessons at the local university's aquatic center, but at $30 a pop, I could hardly justify or afford spending this for 2 kids at the same time.  We decided to do the group lesson thing at the nearby Swim club.

Sam's group is the basic preschooler 1 class that meets at 10:00am, for 25 minutes.  Ian's group (the infamous level 2) meets at 11:00am, for 30 minutes.  There are approx. 60 kids that span these two hours partaking in various group lessons, at all levels.  And easily 8 teachers and another 6 or 7 assistants that lead the lessons. 

Lo and behold, Ian and Sam got the same exact teacher.  Let's call her Ellie. At first I thought Ellie was great and perfect for Sam.  Sam's class was on the small side and the teacher/assistant to student ratio was amazing.  I couldn't have gotten a better deal than if I paid for Sam to have private lessons. 

By the time Ellie was working with Ian's group, I was highly annoyed by her.  It was embarrassing how she was talking to these 6 and 7 years old kids and the majority of the lesson was spent with the kids doing very little in the water.  You could watch Ellie looking around at everyone and everything but the kids.  You could see her look at the clock on the wall repeatedly.  You could watch her have a side conversation with another teacher/assistant, while the kids did nothing but stand there.  You could see the kids be told to float on their backs, but not offer any assistance with this move.  You could see that minutes would go by with the kids sitting on the side of the pool with only their legs in the water and told to kick.  Really?  Weren't we beyond this already?  Let's help these kids float on their back.  Let's help these kids start to learn strokes.  Let's help these kids learn to breathe with their face in the water.  Ellie was a hot mess and I was not happy.

At the end of the lesson, I approached the Swim Director and voiced my concerns.  She said the first week is one of adjustment for the kids and teachers and to give it a week.  No problem.  I can do that.

One week later, I was ready to jump in the pool and drown this Ellie.  I think you could tell how upset I was - not just at Sam's lessons, but Ian's too.  It was more of the same, but only worse.  This time it took 4 minutes until Sam's class was called in to the water.  THEN Ellie gets out of the pool to gather the necessary tools/toys to use for the class.  WHAT??  Why wouldn't you come to the class prepared!?!?!

With Ian's class, Ellie didn't even look in Ian's direction once!  And her assistant looked like she was too cold to even move in the water.  She stood there with her arms crossed and never moved.  She didn't even get wet.  Nor did she do her job and help the kids. 

You can just imagine my reaction.  The following Tuesday, Sam and I went in person to talk to the swim director.  I told her I gave it a week to see if it got any better and I was ready to pull the kids out of the lessons.  I'd rather lose the money than be aggravated each week.  The swim director offered to switch out their teachers and have someone else teach their class.  Then she made it a point to tell me how qualified all of these teachers are and they all have the same credentials.  Oh and the dad of the little boy in Sam's class (the only other child) LOVES Ellie.  Whatever.  Just as long as my kids don't get her again.

Fast forward  to yesterday -- Sam got a new teacher and assistant. Both were phenomenal.  Sam did triple the amount in yesterday's lesson than both the previous two combined.  And, she jumped out of the water saying, "I want to do that again and again and again!" Music to my ears. 

Ian got a different teacher and assistant too. Same ratio as before (teacher/assistant to kids) and he actually got hands-on help the whole entire time.  He even said his teacher told him he'll be swimming in the level 3 class in no time.  As you know before from earlier blog entries, this made Ian's day. 

From the moment both kids got in the water for their lesson, there was no down-time.  They were doing laps, floating on their back, jumping in, and actually getting a swim lesson. Imagine that.  I was so happy, that yes I was tearing up.  Score one for this mommy!

You know how I know this was the right thing to do?  Because I watched Ellie teach a different class during Sam's time slot.  It was a more advanced preschool class.  One of the mom's from that class looked at me in outrage when Ellie told the kids to put their heads underwater and never told them to close their mouth first.  Apparently her daughter swallowed a huge amount of pool water and wasn't happy.  And then the mom quickly listed everything this Ellie did wrong in her opinion.  Funny enough, it was my same exact list.  I told her I was sorry about the switch and that it happened because of me.  Hopefully this mom will speak up too.

You have to be your child's best advocate.  No one else is going to be.  I am very happy that all is right with the swim lessons.  Because of this experience and how it got the attention it needed, this Swim Club is about to receive a whole lot of business from the Toppall family.  I've booked Ian's birthday party there, going for the big enchilada party package.  Plus, Ian will be doing a few camps there over the summer.  And, lets not forget, the kids will continue taking swim lessons too.  Just as long as we don't get Ellie. 

Journal writing

Here's a little chuckle for you today;

Every Monday at school Ian's class writes in their journals what they did over the weekend.  It wasn't until after Ian's first swim lesson was over, when Jeff was helping Ian get out of his wet bathing suit in the Men's locker room, that Ian saw his fellow classmate, Amar.  Amar was taking swim lessons too, just in a different level.

Ian's jounal writing that Monday:

"I saw Amar in the shower."

No mention of the swim lesson. No mention where this shower was located.  Nothing else at all having to do with that Saturday.  Nope.  Just, "I saw Amar in the shower."

Mondays at dinner, I usually ask Ian what he wrote about in his journal.  When he said the above, Jeff and I laughed pretty hard.  We can just imagine what the teacher thought when she read it.

A fast one!

Ian feels like he doesn't need swim lessons and can swim as good as the next kid.  I love the self-confidence this kid has, but between me and you, Ian shouldn't be swimming in water deeper than 4 feet.  And even then, I'll feel better knowing a lifeguard is close by.

I told Ian last month, I was signing him and Sam up for lessons.  He said, "That's ok, I don't need them.  I know how to swim."  Yes, this may be true, but you can't swim for more than 7 feet without stopping to stand, catch your breath, take a moment to regroup and then decide to keep going to the other side.  This is not swimming!!  Swimming is being able to tread water, float on your back, do a few strokes, and know how to breathe without stopping.

So I agreed with Ian that maybe he doesn't need the lessons.  I told Ian they will evaluate him at the beginning and decide if lessons are even necessary.  Ian loved hearing this and was certain that once the instructors saw what he was capable of, swim lessons were going to be history!  In actuality, I knew they were going to do evaluations to decide which level was best suited for him.

I wasn't sure if he should be placed in level 2 or level 3 when signing up and said on the registration form it could be either one. I knew he hadn't been in a pool in a few months and was probably a little rusty.  Lo and behold, Ian didn't even place in the upper end of level 2.  Lower level 2 it was. 

On the day of the first lesson, Ian saw my friend Kelly and said, "I may not even need these lessons". He was all excited to get in the pool and show them what he had.  Poor thing didn't even see it coming.  Ian did the lesson and said he will go back.  So this is a good thing.  And a big pat on my back for coming up with this brilliant twist to what could've been a not-so-fun-situation, trying to let Ian know that yes, swim lessons were going to happen.

Without missing a beat.

Yet again I am amazed by Ian and his aptitude for math.  The other day I told Ian I was signing him up for swimming lessons.  He asked when they will start.  I replied, "Saturday, February 4th".  Without hesitation or pause in conversation, Ian instantly says, "So, in 17 days." 

Within seconds, Ian was able to determine what day of the month we were in, have in his head how many days there are in January, do the math to figure out how many days are left until February and add the remaining days in February until the swim lessons start.  Wow.  It took me longer (much longer) to figure out he was right.

Seriously impressive.  Yep, that's my boy. :)

Sweet Summer Fun - Part 6 (a.k.a. Now, THAT was crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I take full responsibility for what I am about to report on. Really, it was all my fault. I used poor judgement and should've known better, especially when so many kids were involved. Oh my!

I have to say that I don't know when enough is enough. Jeff points it out to me many times that I should give up and throw in the towel way before I find that limit. But there is something in me that doesn't allow that to happen and of course everyone suffers in the end. Only this time I brought many innocent mothers and their kids in to my normal crazy day. Fortunately these are all good (no, make that GREAT) friends and they have a sense of humor.

Last Thursday, I planned a fun pool party for the afternoon and invited a bunch of our friends to join us. While at the pool, we'd order pizza for dinner. I even made cupcakes for us to enjoy afterwards. We had a great turn out and 6 moms and 16 kids were able to make it. This was not even including us!

The weather forecast called for a strong chance of severe thunderstorms. But when we started on our outing to the pool, the sky was crystal clear and sunny. I was at Wolf Trap the night before and saw a dark, gloomy sky above and had the good fortune that I didn't get rained on. I was hoping the luck would continue at the pool and whatever clouds appeared would continue to blow by.

We arrived at the pool at 2:40pm and the kids were having fun. At 3:15pm, the whistle was blown and the pool was shutting down. The lifeguard heard thunder and that was the sign it was time to get out of the pool. Yes, there were some dark clouds above. And, yes, I do agree, it looked like it was going to pour, but surely we'd have time to eat the cupcakes first, right? After going to the trouble to make these cupcakes from scratch, I was determined to let the kids enjoy them. Plus, did I really want to get stuck with 2 dozen cupcakes? No sirreeeee!!

So as everyone is scrambling out of the pool, I threw out my idea to gather around and have a cupcake. I've come to find out later that two of the moms thought my suggestion was completely bonkers. But I really did think we'd have enough time before.....

The rain, lightning, thunder all seemed to start in the same second. It was nuts. One second we were dry (well, actually still wet from just having been in the pool), and the next second, we were drenched and cupcakes were flying off the table from the high winds. It was out of control! The kids were mere seconds into eating their cupcakes. They got scared and we couldn't get our stuff together fast enough to high tail it out of there. We quickly made our way to the lifeguard/bathrooms/community center building and got our bearings.

Because we live so close, I walk to the pool. This time I not only had the two kids with me, but also my friend Susanne and her three kids walking too from my house. I pack a big wagon and fill it with everything but the kitchen sink. Now our close walk back to the house seemed like a continent away and getting there would require Noah's Ark.

I invited whoever wanted, to come back to the house; at the very least to dry off and get changed. My friend Carol came to our rescue and drove Ian, Sam, and me home. I left my wagon behind. My friend Dawn took Susanne and her 3 kids back to my house too. In both instances I am sure the kids were in shock getting thrown into the front seat of the car and taking off without even a thought of a car seat. (A quick reminder....I live literally around the corner...this would never be done in any other circumstance.)

Of the 6 moms in attendance, I had 3 moms and a total of 9 kids back at the house. There was a crazy number of towels being used in an attempt to get everyone dry. It was insane and the sheets of rain kept falling and falling without letting up. It was a monsoon! Once back in dry clothes, the kids quickly found themselves in our rec room playing. The four of us stayed in the living room area and hung out, sitting on the floor, recovering from the experience.

We ended up ordering pizza and making the best of the situation. Our playdate finally came to an end around 6:30pm. The kids had a fun time playing and the moms had a rare opportunity to sit and chat for a few hours without worrying if the kids were going to drown.

It didn't take long before we could look back on the situation and start laughing. Specifically when the pool has just announced it is closing and I say, "I think we have enough time for cupcakes." Yeah, right. Like I said, me and when 'enough is enough' don't usually see eye to eye on the first try.

Before the group left my house, we decided we needed to get together again next Thursday. Fortunately it appears my mommy friends don't know when enough is enough of me either. :)

Swimming to the top

I am convinced that Ian is going to grow up and become the head of a company or a politician. He is a born leader. He has a way of working the situation to his benefit and takes care of others along the way.

Ian has been taking swim lessons twice a week for the past month and a half. His swim teacher is one of the lifeguards at the pool we frequent. Tommy, the swim teacher/lifeguard, does not have the best conversational skills. Ian uses this weakness to his advantage and Tommy doesn't stand a chance during their 30 minutes together each lesson.

To start with, Ian talks non-stop during the lesson. Tommy can't get a word in. Ian tells Tommy what they are going to work on. "Let's start with a warm-up going once around the pool." or "How about I work on kicking now?" Tommy will try to tell Ian to swim to a certain point in the pool to him and Ian will reply with, "No, I am going to swim to there first (a destination much closer)." After Ian has accomplished that. Ian will then tell Tommy, "Ok, I'll swim to where you want me to go just once. And for doing that, I get an extra piece of candy."

Then they'll move on to the next activity and Ian will negotiate how that is going to play out. It is really something watching this in action. Ian speaks with such confidence that you can't help but believe he knows what he is doing. And taking on a 6 foot college student is quite spectacular.

Tommy's head must be spinning by the time the lesson is over. Ian pretty much runs the lesson and in the process scores 4 lollipops by the time they are through. Now here is the part I am really in awe of -- when the lesson is over each time and Ian goes to collect the candy, he turns around and hands out a piece to Sam, his friend James, and James' little sister Ashley. Plus, he still has one lollipop for himself. Got to give the kid credit. He is brilliant.

Not a good day for a swim

At 3:30pm, the phone rang just as I got the last of our stuff loaded on the stroller to head to the pool. I ran back inside the house to answer it. It was Annaliese, one of the Oaks Pool lifeguards and Ian's swim teacher. Our lesson was scheduled for 4:00pm and she was calling to let me know that a kid just threw up in the pool causing it be shut down for 2 hours. "Oh Man!" was my reaction. Annaliese offered to give Ian his lesson at 5:30pm. We accepted the new time and I asked her if the baby pool was still open during these next two hours. She said yes. Already loaded and ready to go, we made our way to the Oaks Pool. Some say I overpack for the pool, but I am ready for any situation. We can be at the pool for 1 hour or 10, it is the same amount of crap being schlepped. The pool is a 3 minute walk (at best) from our house and I am an extraordinary packer when it comes to utilizing any bit of free space on the stroller -- the basket, handle bar, and above the canopy are all fair game. I've got beach towels, dry clothes for each of the kids to change in to, snacks, drinks, back-up swim diapers, multiple cans of sunscreen (you never know when one will run out), pool toys, arm floaties, float for Sam, goggles, kick board, etc. Yes, it is crazy, but if one of the kids needs something, you need to be ready.

We actually had a nice afternoon at the baby pool. A mommy friend who has kids Ian's age arrived and we had a pleasant time chatting while the kids played. It eventually got to be 5:30pm and time for Ian's swim lesson. The big thing you need to know is that we've done many, many sessions of swim lessons in the past and Ian has never gotten his head wet. Ever! Annaliese is the first teacher to have gotten as far as she has to actually getting Ian to swim on his own. It is very exciting and one reason I didn't want to miss a lesson. I feel like we've got good momentum and I want to keep it going.

Everyone was excited to finally go into the big pool. People had arrived over the course of the 2 hours and was counting down the minutes until they could get wet. At a quarter to the hour, every hour, it is an all-adult swim for 15 minutes. I wholeheartedly disagree with the lifeguard blowing his whistle and making the kids get out at 5:45pm. Talk about being unfair; these kids had only been in for 15 minutes after most of them had been waiting up to 2 hours. Fortunately Ian was able to continue his lesson during this time. Just when the whistle blew to signal the adult swim was over, and everyone was making their way back in the pool, Ian swallowed a little pool water. He started coughing and, you guessed it, threw-up in the pool. With the pool only officially being open for 15 minutes for the kids, Ian managed to shut it down again for another two hours. Ian got the whole 30 minutes of his lesson in and was pretty much done when the incident occurred. I am not entirely certain he fully understood what happened, because he got out of the big pool and returned to the baby pool. He was ready to start playing again.

We had to have set a record for shutting a pool down again so quickly after it finally reopened. I am just thankful all we saw was Ian's snack come back up and not the dinner he was about to eat.

Below is video of Ian learning to swim. If I kept it recording even 2 minutes longer, it would've been video of something else too!