Say cheese!

Last time we took a formal picture with Jeff's family was more than 5 years ago.  Ian was approx. 6 months old and Sam wasn't even close to being on the radar.  For the past 3 years, we've tried hard to update this picture and for one reason or another, it never happened.  Finally, we picked a date on the calendar, far enough in advance, that this picture was taking place no matter what. 

As I've previously reported, it is always tricky when involving my kids and what to expect.  You never know if they are going to smile on command, leave my side, sit still, or be in a good enough mood to cooperate.  After one or two minutes of warming up, we hit paydirt!  I couldn't have asked for a better photo taking session from my Toppall team.

Here are a few of my favorites:

From left to right:  Matthew, Elaine, Howard (nephew, Jeff's sister, brother-in-law)
Front row: Marcia, Harold (Jeff's parents)
Right-hand side:  Us

Now that we've managed the big family photo on both sides of our family (all within weeks of each other), you can stick a fork in us.  We are done.  At least until the holidays come.

Meet Steven.

One evening while in FL, the kids and I went to a very good friend's house for dinner and a playdate.  Amanda has a little girl, also named Samantha that they call "Sammy".  Sammy is 3 months younger than my Sam.  I've known Amanda since I was 5.  We went to the same private schools from kindergarten, all the way through to graduating high school.  She probably knows me best outside of family.  The fact that her daughter has the same name as mine is complete coincidence.

Anyway, when I reintroduced Sammy to Ian, she couldn't seem to get the name correctly and kept calling Ian, "Steven".  It was very funny.  Ian, of course, didn't find it funny and was getting more and more frustrated as the evening wore on.  Amanda and I laughing as each incident occurred certainly didn't help the situation.  Ian got very upset and started to ignore Sammy whenever he was called the wrong name.  At one point Sammy caught on to what was happening and purposely called Ian "Steven".  Thus, getting Ian even angrier.

Fast forward a very full 2.5 weeks later.  We are back in Burke and in the car one morning headed to camp.  Ian and Sam are fighting like cats and dogs.  Its amazing the distance their arms can go and cross over to the other's car seat, even when they are completely buckled.  Ian starts in on Sam and yells something to the following:  "I don't like you anymore.  I don't want to be your brother.  I am done with you.  I wish you weren't here."

Before I can interject and tell Ian that I never want to hear him say anything like that again, Sam, in a very calm and controlled voice, looks at Ian and says, "Steven".

I was completely amazed at how brilliant Sam's comeback was. One word.  That's all that was needed.  The playing field just got leveled.

Uncharttered Territory

Sam (pointing to her private area down below):  What is this?

Me:  Your vagina  (I think its best to be honest and use the correct terminology.  Took us awhile to get Ian to stop using the word "wee-wee".)

Sam:  My vagina?

Me:  Yes, girls have vaginas and boys have penises

Sam:  What does mommy have?

Me:  Vagina

Sam:  Ian?

Me:  Penis

Sam:  Daddy?

Me:  Penis

Sam:  The Wiggles?

Me:  They all have penises.

Sam:  Princesses?

Me:  They all have vaginas.

Sam:  Darth Vader?

Me:  Penis

Sam:  Ok.

As long as we got the important characters covered.  Hopefully she won't go to camp today and tell the kids what she learned this morning.

A date I am quite fond of.

To most people, today, July 23rd is another ordinary day.   A day that falls in mid-Summer and has no special significance.  But to me, the 23rd day in July will always have a place near and dear to my heart.  For it is this day, 8 years ago, that Jeff proposed marriage. 

A guy who loved me enough that he wanted me take his name, start a family with and for better or for worse, start and end each day with me.  You can always tell someone you love them and want to be with them when everything is going great. When the skies are blue and the birds are chirping, it is very easy to be in love.  But its when the days get challenging and less-than-stellar situations are presented, that the love you feel for your significant other is tested.  That's when it takes all your strength to still be in love and want to stick around for those better days you hope come soon. 

With me, this is when I love Jeff even more.  When I see how he deals with $3,000 in unexpected car repairs.  When, a few years ago, he got laid off and we weren't sure how long it would be before the next job opportunity came along and with it, a very much needed paycheck.   How he handles a baby whose neck refused to rotate all the way around and we weren't sure Ian would ever be able to sit-up, crawl, or walk because of the condition.  When an emergency appendectomy comes out of blue and puts me out of commission for a few days.  How supportive Jeff was with my Celiac diagnosis and instantly offered to eat gluten-free too in the house.  And the day to day dealing with all the little stresses and challenges life brings on, magnified even more by yours truly.

When the chips are down is when my love for Jeff is at an all time high.  When I know we can lean on each other and weather any storm that comes our way.  I had no idea 8 years ago when Jeff got down on one knee that while it is easy to love someone during the fun, light-hearted days, it was during the heavy periods I would feel my love for him go to whole new levels.

And without hesitation, if Jeff were to propose again, I'd say "yes", a million times "yes" to be engaged to this kind of man.

The Sunshine State

The kids and I are back!  Being gone from June 26th to July 15th is a long amount of time, no matter how old you are.  Ian commented a few times to me, once I joined the kids down in FL, that he felt like he lived there permanently. 

We have now gotten back into our routine and once again, living la vida loca. My co-conspirator (my mom) and I came up with a crazy idea, over a year ago, and I crossed my fingers and used up a lot of wishes hoping the plan would come to fruition. It involved many layers.  Mom and Jim would drive up and take the kids back down with them to FL.  Jeff and I would be able to spend some time together without the kids.  It was then that I came up with the idea to go to Vegas. Once back from Vegas,  I would fly to Orlando and spend a little less than 2 weeks visiting the family and friends with the kids before flying back.

My biggest obstacle was Jeff, who really didn't want the kids gone that long or thought the drive from Burke to Orlando with our 2 kids in the car driven by my mom and stepfather was going to work.  He had visions of getting a phone call some time during the 14 hour drive and asking us to come take the kids.  No one has ever attempted having Ian and Sam in the car that long before.  We had no idea what to expect.  We just knew that if it didn't work, it would be a disaster of enormous proportions.

Lo and behold, I am happy to report that my marriage is still in tact, Jeff is still talking to me, and to boot, my mom and stepfather more than survived the road trip.  In fact, my mom can not believe how well the kids did.  It was even beyond their expectations.  The whole time the kids were in my family's care they were rockstars.  They ate EVERYTHING put in front of them (none of this, "I don't like it."  or "I don't want that.").  They went to sleep without any stalling tactics, slept through the night, and furthermore, slept to a reasonable time the next morning.  Yes, really!  Of course, I am describing Sam here more than Ian.  I knew Ian wasn't going to cause any problems.  The kids totally went with the flow without me and Jeff around.  No matter whose house they slept at (my dad's, my mom's, my sister's, or the 3 different hotels when they drove down and also went to the beach), they adapted beautifully to the new surroundings.

Then, of course, I come to town and before you know it, the Sam I said good-bye to and love unconditionally, came back in full force.  She went back to her old tricks and it was refreshing having multiple relatives around as back-up and reinforcement.

I am so happy that this trip went as well as it did.  Each year we do this, it will get easier and easier.  Although, I think Ian realizes now that he could've easily flown down and not needed to do the 2 day, 14 hour car ride.  So we may need to adjust the logistics on next year's trip.  However, if it was up to me, I'd rather Sam drive in both directions.  Let's just say we are very lucky we didn't get thrown off the plane coming back home.  It wasn't pretty and Sam is still not the best to fly with.

Three cheers for my SUPER-HERO mom!  Most of my friends couldn't believe she wanted to do this.  She is simply amazing.  And more thanks and kudos to my dad, stepmom Rita, sister Meghan, sister Lori and brother-in-law Ben, all who pitched in and took over for a few days here and there.  What a team!  This was definitely a summer vacation that will have the kids smiling for a long time to come.

Velcro: The way of the future?

I find it fascinating that Ian and Sam will never know how to work a rotary phone.  Or, understand that tvs didn't always come with remotes and the ability to record a tv show wasn't always possible.  And before computers, typing on typewriter is how you filled out a form or wrote a letter.  And of course the biggie, heating up a hot dog and chicken nuggets took a lot longer when a stove was needed because microwaves didn't exist yet.

For the last 6 years, we've bought our kids the specific shoes they wear for many different reasons; color, style, cool character design they like, and because they offer velcro straps.  Each year, we put off the inevitable on teaching Ian how to tie laces.  Every time I take him for new shoes, I say, "After this pair, you are getting sneakers with laces and learning how to tie them."  And every year, when its time to get that next new pair, I cave again and do the easy thing...go with velcro.  Call me lazy, but its so much easier to get out the door, repeatedly through the day, when you don't have to stop and help tie shoes.

It's really pathetic.  Ian is now 6 and wouldn't be able to tie his own shoes.  Growing up, I know by the time I was 5, I was fully able to tie any laces put in front of me.  Being able to tie your shoes is a rite of passage, right? 

I was firmly putting my foot down and saying this is it.  This Fall is the year that we will invest in shoes that require tying a bow.  However, my good friend was at Potomac Mills yesterday and found an awesome deal on Stride Rite sneakers she knew Ian would love. She texted me and asked what size.  I went up one size from what Ian is currently wearing and replied back.  Got to love texting!   It was a bit of a relief when the shoes were put in my hand, that yes, these don't have laces either.  It's velcro all the way baby! 

And so, we will go another year now without Ian having to learn this fundamental necessity of life, or is it?  Could laces actually go the way of rotary phones?  Does Ian ever have to really learn how to tie his shoes?  Or, will the size he needs keep offering the velcro closure as his feet get bigger?

He just didn't see it coming.

While the kids and I were in Florida, my sister Lori and her husband Ben hosted their annual salsa-making, pool party.  It is a fun event they've now done for 3 or 4 years and this was the first one we attended.  Ben is known around town for his delicious salsa and was all too happy to give a few lessons and have guests try their own hand at making fresh salsa. 

Ian was very excited and got into the act making his salsa on the sweet side (apples!) and with absolutely no spice or kick to it.

Towards the middle of the afternoon, we all changed into our bathing suits (or "bathing soup" as Sam refers to it) and went in the pool.  One of Lori's friends, Alex, is a big guy at 6'7", with a heart of gold and as gentle as they come despite his looming stature.  Alex and Ian were playfully splashing each other and without any warning, Alex picked Ian up from behind and lifted him up towards the sky - way up high, above the pool water - and threw him in the deep end.  Ian, who only up until this past Spring was even comfortable putting his head underwater didn't see it coming.  Those who were witness to this spontaneous act of craziness on Alex's part were in awe and shock waiting for Ian to come to the surface.  I couldn't believe anyone would do this to a 6 year old and not find out if it would be okay first (if not with the child, then at least with their mom).  Alex had absolutely no idea that this was something Ian wouldn't like.  When Ian finally was able to breathe, he had the most traumatized, shocked look on his face and within 5 seconds realized he should be crying.  We got him out of the pool and to a nearby chair to calm down.  I looked at Alex and said, "He didn't even have his googles on."  It was bad. Very bad.  Alex felt horrible and wanted to make it up to Ian.  He kept apologizing over and over again.  Alex offered to let Ian push him in or do anything he wanted so that he'd feel better. 

Within 10 minutes, Ian was back in the pool. And believe it or not, was playfully splashing with Alex again. This time with his googles on.  And, this time we all told Alex that he might not want to make that mistake again.