Sometimes I think Sam is bipolar. She can go from being so incredibly sweet and charming to a raving lunatic in under 10 seconds flat. But I guess this is what a very strong-willed, brilliant two year old can be like.
A little while ago, we had 5 days in a row of Sam being near perfect. She didn't have one temper tantrum or meltdown in 5 days. I am not expecting her to be like this all the time -- hey, she is two and I do expect she'll push my buttons at least once or twice a day. But to go 5 days without one screaming fit was a dream come true. Of course, just when you get used to this and you think it can't get any better, the other shoe drops and Sam is back to being the Sam I've come to know and love unconditionally. That first day we were back to our usual existence was like getting hit blindsided. WHOOOSH! SHE'S BAAAAACK! Any tolerance I had built up to the crazy loud, stubborn and mean Sam I had quickly lost. I was pulling my hair out trying to deal with her all over again. Only now, I had been teased with a glimpse of what the good life was like and how loving and sweet my little girl could be.
A few of my friends had asked if anything changed during the 5 days she was wonderful. No, her food, her activity, her lack of naps and her routine all were the same. The only thing I could think of was that her sleeping through the night (without waking even once) got back to being on track and was consistent long enough that maybe she was no longer in sleep deficit. It was wonderful greeting her in the mornings with her smiling and having her be happy as soon as she got out of bed.
For those 5 days, I started second guessing my action plan. But then I was slapped with a cold dose of reality and the action plan is back to being in full force. So here's my update on where we currently stand:
1. I found the most awesome high schooler, named Gabby, to come help. Currently her schedule is crazy busy, so she is only able to give me one afternoon a week. But I have high hopes that when the school play is over, she might be able to give me another day or two. The best part is that Gabby lives within walking distance and doesn't require me driving her home. Hearing Sam laugh so hard and deep when Gabby is over is music to my ears. This girl has a way with Sam and it's like a breath of fresh air having her come and take over.
2. I signed up for the parenting class, "Managing Temper Tantrums and Whining". It's on April 14th. Yes, I am counting down the days until this class and keeping a running log of various situations I need to know the best way to deal with.
3. Sam is now officially going to preschool 3 days a week. It is more running back and forth for me because of having to get Ian to kindergarten, but I think she needs to be in a structured environment for an additional day a week more than I need to conserve gas.
There are days when I am not sure I am going to make it until Jeff comes home at the end of the day. Days when Sam will scream for 2 hours straight and go from one thing to another that is upsetting her. Days when I think this can't be normal, even for a two year old. And if they say the three's are worse, what in the world am I in store for?
But then there are moments when she is so sweet and loving and fun to be around. When she gets in a playful mode and loves to laugh endlessly. Those are the days I live for and the times I recall when I just want to pack a bag and run away.
Fortunately, Sam is sleeping again at night and staying asleep the whole time. She usually wakes up sometime in the first half of the 6:00am hour. This is not too bad considering the alternative and I am certainly not complaining. Me being able to sleep again through the night is helping too. I wake up feeling rested and ready to tackle the world that has Samantha in it.
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