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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Manipulation at its best

I am frequently asked where we are with Sam's potty training.  So, let me paint the scene for you. 

I am done messing around.  Sam knows what she needs to do and has proven she can do it.  However, she chooses not to.  She takes the easy way out and pees in her pull-up.  Once and for all, I've had it and decided that we done with pull-ups and its now or never to getting potty trained.


Saturday:
In the morning we put underwear on Sam and she does great.  We pack up to go to Chesapeake Beach for the day and tell Sam we will put a pull-up on her. It's an hour drive, and I can only imagine it would be a recipe for disaster to expect her to stay dry.  She says no and promises to keep underwear dry.  About 50 minutes in to the drive, Sam says she needs to go potty.  We pull over to the side of the road and she successfully pees in our portable potty.  Yay!  It's at this point she demonstrated (again) she can recognize the urge to go and hold it until she can relieve herself.  I am now ready to never turn back again and put pull-ups on her, even on long car rides.


Sunday:
All day she does great in underwear.  I feel we've completely turned the corner and are headed down easy street.  We drop Sam off at our friend Jen's house at 3:00pm.  Sam will be spending the rest of the day and night at her house.  I don't even pack a pull-up, but include another change of clothes and 7 pairs of back-up underwear.  Unbeknownst to me, Jeff did throw a pull-up in her bag.  I tell Jen I am confident that Sam has this potty training thing down.  Jen says she will put a pull-up on Sam for the birthday party they are attending in an hour.  I want the experience of watching Sam to be as stress-free as possible and totally understand Jen doing this.  However, Sam doesn't get more than 5 minutes after we've left before the accidents begin.  She tells Jen she has to go, but by the time they make it to the bathroom, Sam has already wet herself.  It's pull-up city from here on out for the rest of the time and I am completely on board with this thinking. 


Monday:
We pick Sam up and come home. By 10:00am, I've got her back in underwear.  This is it. She can do this!  At 11:15am, Sam puts herself down for a nap.  This is her new thing to do and I am very pleased when she recognizes she needs one and goes up to her room to sleep.  I follow her and ask if I can put a pull-up on her while she sleeps.  This, in my opinion, is the only time I want her to be in one.  It is not fair to ask her or expect her to stay dry while she is sleeping.  Sam refuses and within 2 minutes she is fast asleep.  Sam sleeps for a little more than 3 hours and I can only imagine the huge mess that will have occurred by the time she wakes up.  Believe it or not, she stayed completely dry!!  Wow.  She went from 10:00am until 2:15pm not going to the bathroom.  As soon as she wakes up, we encourage Sam to go use the potty.  Surely, she must have to go by now.  Sam refuses and a HUGE fight ensues between Jeff, me and her.  Sam is flipping out about going on the toilet and is demanding a pull-up.  Of course we all know why she wants the pull-up.  No way, Jose. 

30 minutes later of us all yelling and screaming back and forth at each other, Sam is still refusing to try to go on the potty and hasn't peed at all yet.  It's pretty unbelievable. She is getting all nutzo about wanting to wear a pull-up and keeps taking her big girl underwear off.  It is insane. At this point, Sam is tired of us hounding her to try to use the potty and also keep her underwear on. She says she is tired and is going to take a nap again.  She crawls under her comforter, takes the covers over her head and lays there quietly.  After 20 minutes Jeff and I go up to check on her.  She is still laying there quietly.  Jeff and I try to come up with ideas on what to do to make this situation better.  One of the things she was screaming about was her underwear was too small.  They were sized 2T-3T, so I guess we could officially go up a size.  I offer to go to the store with her and get her new, big girl underwear in a bigger size.  She finally agrees to this and says she will come pick them out with me.  I tell her that they only way we can leave the house is if we all try to go to the bathroom first and get dressed in clothes. 

Within 30 seconds, Sam is out of her bed and sitting on the potty. She lets loose a big amount of pee and I fully realize at this moment how incredibly manipulative Sam is.  She held it for more than 5 hours!!  She only went to the bathroom when it was completely on her terms. 

We went to Kohls and bought 42 pairs of new big girl underwear.  I think we are set for a long, long time.

It's not pretty, but I think we are making progress.  There is no going back to pull-ups.  If anyone asks me now if Sam is potty trained, I say, "Yes, she is...she gets it and knows what to do."
She is a girl and this is a whole different animal than I am used to.  I previously thought Ian gave me a run for my money, but we are talking a very different universe with Samantha. 

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