I am mommy, hear me ROAR!

After my latest battle with Ian acting out and refusing to cooperate, I decided to step up my game and get strict, very strict. I am not a yeller and feel there are more effective ways to get my point across. I always threaten to take away tv watching privileges and put Ian in 'time-out'. Admittedly, my bark was worse than my bite. Until now.

I told Ian in the morning, when there was not a situation occurring, and he was more apt to listen that I was not going to take the attitude, the yelling, the defiance. The consequences would be any of the following (sometimes all of it!): no tv for the rest of the day; immediate confinement to his room for him to cool off; no further playdates/activities for the rest of the day.

Jeff and I have been trying very hard to get Ian to practice his writing skills. All we ask is that for 15 minutes a day he takes one letter of the alphabet and write it over and over again. Even if we got 10 good minutes we'd be overjoyed with that. However, Ian is still showing no interest in practicing; no matter how fun we try to make the activity or help guide his hand through each letter.

The other day I gave Ian the one show warning and said when his show was over we were going to take advantage of Samantha sleeping and practice writing. He said ok. Then the show was over and he asked very nicely if he could watch one more and then write letters. I was okay with this and felt if he thought he was getting a compromise, he'd be more eager to partake after this next show. Boy, was I wrong!

Sam woke up during the last 10 minutes of the show and fortunately gave me the ability to get as loud as we needed to without worrying about waking her up. Ian flat-out refused to do letters, so I said, "Fine, no tv and turned it off." Ian started yelling very loudly. Having told him my "no yelling, no attitude" threshold earlier in the day, I said it was now time for him to go to his room until he calms down. Again, Ian refused and continued yelling. I picked him up (kicking and screaming mind you) and carried him to his room. I was able to clear his doorway and close the door. Sam is doing her best to keep up and fortunately I got the door closed before she made it in his room. I had to hold the door closed for a good few minutes before Ian stopped trying to escape. It wasn't a pretty scene and I am sure the neighbors could hear all hell breaking loose, but at least he was in his room and staying there. I told him when he was ready to come out, please let me know.

After about 10 minutes of some major yelling, Ian opened the door and said he needed a drink. I got him his drink, closed the door and he continued yelling. Then about 10 minutes past that, Ian said he needed a hug. I went upstairs gave him his hug and asked if he was ready to talk. He said yes. I got down to his level and asked him why he was told to go to his room. He said he didn't know. I calmly explained that he refused to do something we both agreed to doing, he started yelling and threw a temper tantrum. I reminded him that I would not tolerate the yelling or attitude anymore. I left him in his room and told him to let me know when he was ready to talk again.

After another 10 minutes, he said he was ready. The same exact conversation happened and Ian was still sanctioned to his room. This went on for close to an hour before he was able to answer my question - "Why were you told to go to your room?" He finally was able to answer the question. Yay!

I did stay true to my word and Ian was not allowed to watch any tv for the remainder of the day. Plus, in the height of his screaming the phone rang and it was Stefanie asking us to join her and the kids at Burke Lake Park. I was able to use her call and make my point that "no, we can't join you this afternoon. Ian is not behaving and therefore not allowed to go do anything fun." It was perfect timing to show Ian just how serious I was being about my new, strict form of parenting.

The funniest part in all this was when Jeff got home and Ian ran to meet him at the door and said, "What if mommy doesn't ever let me watch TV again?" Boy, I guess I scared him good!

I am not sure just how much impact my discipline method had, but the very next day I told Ian we were going to Bed, Bath and Beyond and Wegman's in the morning. He was eager to get in the car and even inquired what we needed at each of the stops. When we got back home, he came up with the following plan; "How about I watch a Fireman Sam and Calliou and then practice letters?" And when it was time to sit down at the table, I not only got the letter 'A' out of him, but also the letter 'I'.

Score one for mommy!